INNER DEMONS
The seach continues, for the elusive, the inner demon that I allow to live within.
The self perpetuating demon that allows me to sabotage every best effort to succeed.
I read othere blogs, inspirational stories, phenomenal life changes every day, yet find that evey one has found the elusive inner demon that holds you back fromachieving your goals. The successful ones defeat, or overcome their inner demons and move forward and achieve their goals.
So what the F**K is wrong with me?
Why am I missing the X factor, the drive to finally re achieve everything I want? Why am I spinning the wheels so to speak?
It’s not just relating to body and health, it get’sdown tolife in generaland work, the BIG picture. No matter how hard I work, there is always some level I let myself down. Sabotaging the very effort I make to improve myself and my life. I no longer understand it. As ole supe says, when you overcome the limiting factor you will become truly successful.
So why is it so hard to find?
I’ve over analysed this for some time now, and still am no closer to the answer. No matter how long, how hard I search for the one thing that is causing me to hold myself back I am nocloser to understanding or even knowing what the hell it is. And this grates on me like nothing else has ever done. I am no closer to figuring it out, and until I do so, I’ve doomed myself to failure. True, the motivationis there to work my ass off in the gym, but feeding myself, I find myself cheating ME out of the REAL results. Justlike success at work. I find a way to hold myselft back, and be miserable. Truly I just don’t understand why orhow it happens. It’s as if I’m happy to accept failure subconsciously. To accept derailing every effort at improving myself. And it’s a self perpetuating problem. It builds and builds until it manages to affect every aspect of life.
So,what is it thatis wrong with me?
I do no know, I wish I could figure it out. Maybee then things would accelerate again and improvements in all aspects of life would appear.
Until I figure this S**T out I’m nowhere, just another wanna be spinning my wheels, going nowhere fast and times a running out.
November 9, 2009 at 7:22 am
Paul, all of us hit obstacles in our path. While I’ve never been an alcoholic, so I can’t say 100%, I believe that being a "foodie" is nigh identical. The temptation is always there, and if you give in a little, we tend to do a flying leap off the cliff after more bad food.
I do it. Had a bunch of halloween candy over the weekend. Not that I’ll sweat it that much. It might screw up one mid-week weigh-in, but I just shrug and get back to business, eating right and busting my backside in the gym.
Part of the key is to not fall into a pit of self-despair over what you’ve done. Shift your sights forward and focus more on the goal. If you are eating bad too often, perhaps you need to take up journaling. Carry a little notebook EVERYWHERE. Before you get to eat, you have to write down what your about to eat. It might make you think twice about it.
But you have to do it EVERY TIME. It’ll be a pain at first, but after a while you might change your thinking just before eating. Instead of just grabbing the bad food, you’ll realize it’s bad and grab something else.
Or perhaps paint a symbol on the inside flap of your wallet. Something to remind you of your weight lifting/weight loss goals. Then every time you open it to pay for something, you see it. Or a necklace with a symbol that you now will associate with your weight loss goal. People use symbols in their faith - perhaps you need one to imbue faith in yourself.