paulapop’s BodyBlog

This week I start my 12 week transformation challenge at the gym.  I’ve uploaded a few progress pictures taken over the weekend, I will be loading more as I get them taken this week.  I will update my blog with my new workout schedule later today

A few weeks ago I wrote about an upcomming contest that I was thinking of entering at the gym.  I just sat here and finished filling out the forms for it, I will submit them tomorrow and within a week I will begin my 12 week, biggest loser style challenge.  I am truly looking forward to it, I think it is just what I need to keep myself motivated and challenged.  The diet will be very strict but also based entirely on food that I actually like.  Part of the forms I had to fill out included a list of foods that I like/dislike and the diet will be individualized for me, based on what I put on that form.  That alone should make it easier to follow. 

The other big challenge that I am not looking forward to is the twice a week meeting with my team and trainer, at 6:30 AM.  YIKES!  I do make it to the gym or out for a run at that time in the morning, but have never done anything as intensive as a group training session…..when I run, my brain doesn’t have to be awake for it. lol

In keeping with the spirit of the challenge, I have set for myself a new goal.  Some of you might find this a silly goal, but hey it is a  big deal for me.  My goal is to wear a two piece bathing suit this summer, and feel confident in it.  The latter part of that sentence is where the real challenge comes in.  The real work for me will be in gaining the self confidence to do it…..wish me luck!

After reading Curtis’ comment on Part I, of course I had to google Dysmorphia, here is a paraphrase of what wikipedia has to say about the disorder.

"Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is a mental disorder where an individual is excessively concerned and preoccuppied with an imagined or minor defect in their appearance."

"BDD combines obsessive and compulsive aspects, which links it to the OCD spectrum disorders among psychologists. People with BDD may engage in compulsive mirror checking behaviors or mirror avoidance, typically think about their appearance for more than one hour a day,"

Hummmmm doesn’t that last statement pretty much define bodybuilders?  I am typically at the gym or working out for more than one a day, and of course I am thinking about my appearance while doing so.

My question I bring to you all today is……is Dysmorphia a biproduct of bodybuilding, or do we body build because of it? 

 Is it really dysmorphia we suffer from, or are we merely highly motivated people with a clear idea of what we want our bodies to look like and we are willing to do what it takes to get there?

  Is that why when I look in the mirror Is till see the fat girl?  Is it because I am not where I want to be yet, so I still see the fat girl as my minds way of keeping me motivated? 

Is it the CW in us that drives us and won’t let us accept mediocre, we want to be our best and look our best?

Will we ever be satisfied with how we look?  Should we be?  Whats wrong with being driven, what’s wrong with wanting to look your best?

Why can’t we be driven and unsatisfied with our bodies, but still acknowledge that we do look good….maybe not as good as we’d like, but good nonetheless?

I do feel that when dysmorphia goes to such an extreme that it causes depression/thoughts of suicide/or self destructive behaviour, it needs to be addressed by a health care professional.  In this blog I am merely talking about that "view askew" we seem to have about our body’s.

Thoughts anyone?

I am sitting here this sunday evening watching  a television show called "How to look good Naked"  It is a U.K. import self esteem building show.  First I have to say, nowhere in this show is any degree of fitness mentioned.  The key words of this show seems to be Spandex/lycra underwear.  The show is definitely aimed at providing a "quick fix" to boost a woman’s self esteem.  However, that being said…..

As I watch this show I can’t believe how warped the woman’s perception of herself is.  Like most of us she see’s herself as much bigger than she actually is.  They had her place herself in a lineup of women according to waist size, the object was to see where she would place herself.  She placed herself at the high end of the lineup, the woman beside her was in reality 4 inches larger in the waistline than she was.

  The experiment made me wonder how many other women would place themselves in such a way.  How many of us have such a warped perception of our body that we really cannot see how great we actually look?  Why do women (or men) focus so much on a negative body image, that we cannot see our postive attributes? 

I know for myself, for all the hard work I’ve done, and all the pounds and inches I’ve lost, I still stand in front of the mirror and see that girl in a size 16.  When I go shopping I always think that the size 8 won’t fit, even though it slides on effortlessly. 

I wonder what it takes for us to see ourselves as we really are?

Ugh, what we women go through in the name of beauty/hygene.  Here’s my tail of woe, pain and misery LOL.

Underarm hair is my nemisis, I absolutely hate it even the slightest shadow of it.  Last Monday I got the brilliant idea that I would try to wax my underarms…….by myself.

First let me point out that getting the wax on the underarms is awkward to say the least.  Grabbing the cloth, and keeping your arm up is damned near impossible.  Lowering the arm with the wax in the pit is a very bad idea as the wax sticks together and you have to pry your open and respread the wax before you can add the cloth. 

Well, it took me about 5 mins to go through that whole production and get the wax applied and the cloth on (one arm). At one point I became a contorsionist to be able to grab the cloth and hold the skin tight so I could rip it off…… Then came the ripping off of the cloth……….Has anyone seen the 40 yr old virgin?  That lovely scene where his friends convince him to get his chest hair waxed??  I lived that scene in my bathroom.  I am not a person who tends to swear a lot, but at that moment I had the mouth of a drunken sailor!

Then…..

I looked at the cloth and the SMALL patch of hair I managed to get off.   So I had to repeat the process…..3 more times on that arm alone……then start the next arm.  When I finally finished I still had scattered small patches of hair and underarms that looked like they had been through a nuclear accident.  At that point I gave up.  I couldn’t lower my arms because of the pain and there was just no way I could torture myself anymore.

I went from arm pits with a tiny shadow of hair that I couldn’t stand, to armpits with big, red, painful blotches. I think maybe electrolysis might be the way to go…….

Glitter Graphics & Comments
                   

It has been a very long hellish week for me.  I haven’t been on here in about 8 days and I am going through major withdrawl symptoms. LOL  We had inventory at work on wednesday, which meant I spent the week prior at work…….12 hrs a day straight through the weekend and all.

Believe it or not, for the 1st time in two years, I actually missed a whole week at the gym because of it.  Aside from vacation of course.  Yes it is true, I went a whole 7days without working out, and when I returned my PT put me through hell, that was thursday and I am still feeling it today!

In other news, I am seriously considering entering a local body transformation contest with me PT.  It is bascially a competition between trainers and their "team" in a biggest loser fashion (ie: weekly challenges, points awarded for completing tasks etc)  There will be a nutritionalist who will make an individual THREE month nutrition plan for each contestant, and the PT will design individual weekly workouts.  Goals will be set according to each persons fitness level, so it won’t necessarily be about how many lbs are lost.  The thing with it is, you have to pay to be a contestant, the nutritionalist alone is very expensive and we will be getting 180 hours with a PT, which is also pricey.  They havent’ given us an exact cost yet, so as long as it is not over-the-top in price I am seriously considering it.

Will keep you all updated after the 22nd when we are having a meeting to outline costs etc. 

Ohhh and the Circle, this contest will run from the 1st of April till the 1st of July….so I will be finished with it by the time the bash comes around, so I will be able to drink YAH!