Paintedgrrl’s Rants and Thoughts

So I said I was going to take it easy on myself this first week back at the gym after almost 2 weeks off…yeah, right who am I trying to kid?  I don’t know how to take it easy….slowing down?  relaxing?  kicking back a bit?  None of those are in my vocabulary….I have been pushing myself harder these last few days and I have the pain to prove it….Love that burn!

So most people dread change…makes them cranky, afraid, and they just generally avoid it at all costs…Whether it be a change in routine, moving to a new place, making new friends, or making a lifestyle change to get healthy…

July of 2006 saw me at 187 lbs…and at that time I did not realize how bad I looked or how unhealthy I was…I actually thought I looked decent at the time…So January of this year I received a pic of me in NYC (taken July ‘06)….boy did I get a wake up call….It was a group pic of the eight of us girls and I remember thinking "Who is that?!"  Upon closer inspection that little fat girl was ME!!  Oh, my gosh, how did THAT happen?!  I was nothing less than devastated to see the real me.

So, I promptly joined the Y and began my journey to change…by this time I weighed 175 lbs.  I immediately jumped in with both feet–started working out 5 days a week- two hours each day .  Everybody under the sun warned me that I should "take it slow so I don’t get burned out"…I didn’t listen..of course, I always rebel.  I worked hard and began to see a few results…eating just a little bit better but no big change there.  Then in mid-February I bought the EAT CLEAN DIET by Tosca Reno.  Holy Smokes!!  That book opened my eyes to the error of my eating habits….I overhauled my entire house and the way my whole family eats–even my two-year old son!!  Actually even the dog has better food now-HAHA!  Mind you I do not eat as clean as Ms. Reno suggests(I’m getting there) but huge changes have been made.

Now it is 8 months after I joined the Y….I am still working out 5 days a week from 1-2 hours a day…(gotten a little more efficient)…I have lost 40 lbs since last July and am beginning to build pretty, little muscles which soon will become pretty, big muscles…I no longer have the killer lower back aches I used to have…I feel better, look younger(so everybody tells me), I am definitely stronger, I have more endurance, I have a hell of a lot more confidence, and I see change happening everyday….and CHANGE is GOOD!

So last week my husband, our three kids, and I went on vacation with family.  Wow!!  Don’t get me wrong, we thoroughly enjoyed the beach…but his family eats A LOT of junk, I mean A LOT!!  There was so much food in the house that I WOULD NOT eat…so I spent the whole week hungry and pretty cranky because of it….

I lived on tomatoes, protein drinks, egg whites and fruit…..now they had lots of fruits and veggies which was heavenly but so little lean protein….and I think I actually lost a few pounds while there…now you wouldn’t know from my pics because I am carrying 5 to 6 pounds of water weight (yes, ladies you know why) so when that is all said and done I’ll check the scale to see just how much I lost.

So glad to be home….It’s so nice to be in your own home, walking on your own floors, cooking the good, healthy food you know and love!!  Yay, for home!!  Now to get back to the gym I know and love–my second home!!

So, yeah, got on the scale a couple of days ago and lo and behold…148.  I had to miss the gym yesterday due to a sick child but I am chomping at the bit to get back today!!  It is amazing what it does to me mentally when I can’t get my workout, not to mention how it affects my stress levels!  So back to the grind I love so much….

Got on the scale this morning and looking back at me all shiny and bright was the number…..149!!!!  My immediate goal was to break into the 140’s and to be at 147 by August 11….I just might make it!!!  I was even bad and ate a snack at 9:30–apple slices, peanut butter and whole grain wheat thins…so today is starting out pretty good, and I get to do shoulders at the gym then I’ve got some girlfriends coming over to swim in my pool…so yeah good day, good day!

So for the past 4 times at the gym, I’ve run.  Everyday when I am finished, I feel slightly nauseated because I am conditioning myself….right?  Well today I must have done a little extra conditioning, because I seriously thought I was gonna toss my porridge!  I sweat so much my wife-beater was soaked (which was actually kinda cool because I don’t usually sweat much), and on top of all that my stomach started cramping like crazy after.  So running is fun right?  Whatev’s!!  Anyway, I’m still doing it…I’ll learn to like it someday maybe, until then I guess I’ll fake it til I make it!

So, I did my usual Thursday at the gym–cardio.  Let me start out by saying that cardio is NOT my favorite–I’d much rather lift and feel the burn the next day.  So I know that running burns A LOT of calories and therefore usually means quicker weight loss.  Now I guess I should say that I have never been a runner—if something were chasing me, sure I’d run but other than to save my life or someone elses–FORGET IT!  Well, I have committed to running every day.  Right now I have little endurance for running…I can run for like 3 to 5 minutes at a time, but I do this in intervals….I’ll run for 5, and walk for 5 and so on.  I know if I keep at it, before long I’ll be running for a half hour.

So this journey begins with determination, commitment, drive, and lots and lots of attitude……because without attitude it won’t happen.

So I sit here this morning, feeling a bit like Goldilocks as I am eating my daily "porridge" which consists of well, porridge..and protein powder, a banana and a lot of willpower and determination to get it all down.  Breakfast is not exactly an easy meal for me to eat so I have to pretty much force myself everyday.

I am preparing to go to the gym and "get back on the horse".  I’ve had a minor setback in my fitness goal and it is time to set my eyes on the prize again.  The prize being the amazing body I am determined to achieve!  I have been out of shape for so long and well, I am damn tired of it!  I would say I am about half-way to my goal, give or take a little.  So enough sitting on the couch typing….time to get the kids dressed, jump into my workout clothes and kick my butt for a couple of hours!!  Good day!

got back in the gym today–yay!!  decided to get bodyfat checked…my gym uses one of those little electronic jobbies(which I know is not 100% accurate), so anyway I haven’t had it checked in about a month…..NO CHANGE!!!  I am so angry with myself-I knew I had been eating too much crap, I just didn’t realize to what extent.

So we leave for the beach August 11.  Right now I weigh 151lbs.  and I want to be down to at least 148lbs by the time we leave….no more playing around…I’d love to be smaller but I also have to be realistic, so GAME ON….I’ll be posting progress regularly…..

So yeah, today was a little harder not going to the gym…it ate at me quite a bit.  So bright and early tomorrow morning, my little booty will be back in my second home!!!  Ahhh, to go home again….