Wow, it is already June 9th! and I said June would be better. Well, to tell you the truth, it hasn't been. Unfortunately, a new girl came in to do an internship and that just takes up time...then I left for 5 days traveling to a city that is very polluted and crowded...so I DID NOT workout at all! UGH. so bummed. 

It is good to be on here again, focus again. It is an everyday commitment. I am looking forward to working out ...and when things come in my way, I cannot get to stressed. I just have to move on.

This week- more salad. LESS sugar- or NO sugar! NO nan bread, pasta, ---fruits, veggies, and good grains. I'm looking forward to next saturday when I feel a change in my body!  

It's crazy how fast life goes by. Just 2 years ago I was figuring this whole body building thing out and every year and summer I say, no more. I will be fit. Just last December, I was thinking, I have 6 months till summer and 8 months till I am home. 

 NOW- I have less than 3 months till I get on a plane! Crazy!!! and I am no where where I want to be- BUT i feel a lot better than I did last year, and I am learning a lot about fitness, nutrition, and my own body. 

Stress & work has taken over my life from time to time - especially the whole month of April- and not being able to work out consistently or at all as really affected me, not just physically but emotionally and spiritually. Sounds funny to say Spiritually, but it has affected every aspect of my life. Not working out causes me to have more anxiety and more obsession about my body and more stress!!! Working out daily eliminates these things almost completely! crazy!!!

 I really hope the month of May turns out better. I hope June is even better and July Is amazing!

Do you ever doubt that you can actually achieve your goals? I do! BUT, I JUST realized this!

AWWw... While traveling to another province & trying to get up everyday to run/walk/do lunges/pushups, etc & trying, but not really trying... something deep deep inside of me came up, entered my brain, and entered my heart; doubt.

It was as though the devil or something evil - myself, my flesh, was telling me that I would never be able to really achieve my goals in the fitness world. I cannot imagine ever having a fit body. I look at transformations and I feel, YES I CAN DO THAT....but in reality, when this deeeeepp thing came into my head and heart, I DON'T BELIEVE THAT!

WHY?! Part of me I guess is scared...but I am not sure why. part of me is too worried about what others will think of me...NOW isn't that dumb?! worrying about what others think...that I am too obsessed with working out and what food I will eat or not eat.

Writing has helped me to get this "thing" outside of myself. 

I am super thankful that I now have a great friend who is willing to observe what I eat & help me out with that! Wow, what a difference it makes when you know someone will be watching what you eat, making comments, and is just simply AWARE of how you eat/what/how much...

 I hope I can master this stupid deep doubt inside of me and overcome this challenge, this hurdle, this mountain. I want to make it to the top, take a deep breath, and then climb down and be able to say "I am satisfied with my body, I am comfortable in my skin, I actually accomplished something, I actually achieved my goals and desires for me!!" 

Today I took my measurements because it has been a year and I would like them for the BSN challenge. 

AS I have been feeling great about workouts and progress... I now feel overwhelmed and a bit discouraged! HOW does one gain so much stomach fat!? UGH= = yo yo dieting! 

SO, took measurement, faced the facts, faced myself & reality.

I'm looking forward to a new body!

6 months away to possibly returning back to CaLi!

I am excited to go and motivated to eat Clean and Work Out HARD!

Having a goal or something to look forward to is always motivating and encouraging.
Will be in and out on bb.com, checking progress, blogging, and hopefully be able to enter in a new BF percentage!

Will have to figure out what to do for protein and what to do for meals... this week is planning time.

Another winter to Keep Working Hard & NOT give in or give up!

Another long winter ahead- cold, snowy, and not fun to take the bus in or walk in!

BUT- must do it! Must go to the gym!  Must stay motivated and keep updating bodyspace/blog and reviewing my goals to keep me going.

I have a good 2.5 months to really work hard and NO excuses, even when I travel this season, I MUST do something~~

Week 5- Day 2 - totally sore! 

Feeling good and feeling stronger! Stomach is having a hard time getting down...

some days I feel so much progress and then in reality there is very little... still pushing hard and trying to be persistent!

Week 5- will be hard- everyday now!

Drinking so much water is also hard!

Need some other sources of protein- since i have no powder... :/ too expensive to ship here. will wait to go home and bring it back with me.

 YAY to week 5- Finish strong!

One more workout until week 4 is done with Stevepoynters!

It seems like forever! I have started this workout plan over 3 times (this last time is the LAST TIME)

I am now in a place of consistency and will not be traveling any time soon! phew!!

traveling gets in the way of sooo many things! ugh!

 After being discouraged and not knowing why I cannot get this weight off I am now feeling better.

I have worked out hard for the last 8 days and am back to feeling better- not great, but good!

Things can only look up from here.

Reminding myself that I have to be aware of my habits daily and what I consume daily....

I don't want to make an idol of myself/working out/or food at all though!

So balancing this is extremely hard and takes a ton of discipline!

But pushing and enduring!

Yay for week 5 to come!

In another 5 weeks is my birthday and a good goal point-5 weeks- lots can change!

Body weight goes up and down constantly...

Do i really have to be in the gym day in and day out!? 

I find if i just miss one day or 2 days in a row my body goes into some weird mode and i gain weight (fat) in the blink of an eye!

I am so frustrated... I feel like it shouldn't be this hard. I know it is so hard and there is a ton of dedication. but i am eating well and pretty consistently working out (4-5days a week)

Is it because I am getting older? metabolism?

ugh! so discouraged....

Day One: Steve Poynter's Program

Had little energy going into the gym, but within a few minutes started feeling great! Took E-mergency with my water (which I think helped a lot)

Killed day one- completed weights and a full round of cardio! 

Yeah!!

MotivateD!

+ eating well- not enough- but eating well =D 

Here We Go AGAIN! Will transformation come?!? 1 year has past since I really decided to be consistent in eating well and lifting (working out on a daily basis).

One year ago I was frustrated, stressed, discouraged and overweight! Living in a new enviorment, eating different foods, & encountering stress like never before hurt my body and confidence.

A year already! crazy- but it has been a good year. I have been for the most part consistent and for the most part able to work out 4-6 days a week!

The screw up=== when i need to travel! It always screws me up and I feel like I need to start over again and again. I travel 3-4 months in a year all at different times and it throws me all off!

So, I hope to be very consistent in my diet - eating clean at all times possible and learning how to work out in a hotel or a different place when I don't have my gym.

Welcome year 2! Work hard, stay consistent, be dertermined, have faith and keep in mind the goal- to live a healthy lifestyle!

awwww, excited!

My arms are fat! That's it. They always have been. I continue& continue to work on them...will they ever change? Seriously, ladies- do they just get bigger, or do they eventually even out, shape-up, and transform??

I thought i was doing well, until today i got a very good perspective & they are just fat. :/ LOL

So, as usual, i just have to continue at it, continue to stay consistent and keep working hard.

Finally! After starting over again, i have made it through the 1st 4 weeks! 

I am so thankful that i have been able to go to the gym in the last couple of weeks to get over this slump. Life is crazy, and when gym times are limited it makes it very difficult to get to it!

BUT, on week 5&6 of Steve's program and it is going well! In all honesty it is intense! And in all honesty, my diet was very poor the 1st two weeks...the last 12 days my diet has been re-examined and i am working on it again. I am totally stoked that I got the new itouch so i have downloaded "MapMyRun". it is great for running and nutrition...keeping everything logged- it keeps me thinking and accountable- =D

By week 5/6 i have seen definite improvements in my strength and in my body transforming (molding) and sculpting into something else- which is sooo exciting and encouraging! It really motivates me to keep working hard and not stress about it! 

If i cannot get to the gym one day- its okay- get to it the next day and/or do some stuff at home! Sometimes life (people, responsibilities, etc.) DOES need to come before working out! I am in no serious healthy condition, so its okay to not freak out if I cannot get a workout in. 

Ya for the next phase. I can accomplish it ALL!

Once again, life is crazy and busy (just like most people in the world) and once again i have slipped and failed at maintaing my diet. But, today is a new day! A new calender is made up for myself & I am encouraged once again....

I'm on the road to eating clean
& LIVING healthy!

In the place i live in it is difficult to get good meat, fresh meat that is not injected with a ton of hormones. It is difficult to find anything hormone Free! Plus i have dietary allergies and so am unable to eat dairy products and certain other little things...

figured out that Whey products are no good for me either...

But- taking some acidophilus and probiotics have been great for other foods.

Trying to stay positive even though i cannot eat many things which i need to eat, especially when lifting.

On my way to discovering new foods, new meals, and LiViNg Healthy!

Wow, what clean eating and working hard does to one's body!!

I am now understanding what it means to eat clean and actually following through with it all. Being on steve78 (fitnesspoynters.com) program keeps me accountable... i really don't want to let anyone down and often think, "what would jamie eason say about this choice or steve say" before i pick up something to eat. it sounds cheezy, but it helps me and works for me. There is no one in my life that I can be proud of me and my fitness/eating accomplishments (no quite understands), so i want to make Steve proud. HAHA. (like i said, it motivates me a ton!)

Back into week one of the program I feel GREAT!!!!!! I feel amazing!

Today i walked away thinking, wow is this what it feels like to really be fit & lean?! I am by no means close to being lean, but i am getting there and if this is how i feel early on then I am looking forward to what is to come!

I am excited for more change! More transformation!