The last few days I was visiting a friend and on the road. Staying at people's homes is difficult for me because I don't want to burden them with the things I can and cannot eat.
The question i ALWAYS get is "what do you like to eat?" Or "what can you eat?"
I hate this question because It is simple-but really not. ?due to allergies and a weak stomach.
Life isn't about food for me and it hasn't been for a very long time. Over the last 9 years I've had major stomach problems and food allergies that has caused me to skip out on social events- well it hasn't caused me, but I just feel bad for the host or feel bad for everyone else trying to accommodate me.
Every time I come home from Asia the #2 question I get is related to food. My answer is never enough for them. haha. I just want something simple like a turkey sandwich. NOT pizza, pasta, mexican food, etc.
with that, I just have to move on and assure my host that they have done nothing wrong and that I am grateful for them and to be there.
BUT yesterday I got very sick. VERY sick. My chest was freaking out- trying to breathe right, headache and pain in my stomach. ?
Today I am doing better? don't know what it was. don't understand. but Am to move on and just have a better day.
so here's to a better day! Working, w/o, and watching some children later tonight.
22 more days of getting it in
When it comes to long conversations with parents all my emotions get tied up in a ball and I become super stressed. Anyone else?
So what is there better to do than to work out and make the most of it at the gym!
What a stress reliever! and to make it better, upping weight and doing more than I thought I could do!
however, once again- diet was not on key today.
Stress is no good for me.
So I did eat that final piece of birthday cake.
but I had some good protein today and protein powder.
cutting down on the carbs is a plus, but I am completely aware that I need to eat more and more protein.
OH - how stress can get in the way of everything!
Tomorrow shall be better!
25 more days of beautiful weather & wonderful foods.
Spent hours in an office in S.F. yesterday. It was a beautiful day - so warm, unusually warm, people with shorts on, sandals, out running, walking and having a great Monday in the usually gloomy city.
Aww I wish I spent more time there, but headed out before traffic?
and I didn't plan ahead, plus my stomach has been awful, so my food intake sucked. :/
- small green apple
- small coffee with skim milk
- 2 oz BBQ chicken
- 4 oz BBQ chicken
- 1/3 cup corn
- 3 small cookies
- 3 hershey kisses.
well that its an off day for sure. :/
yay for day 27! but on to the next day
Day 28- 27 left, that means heavy lifting and good eating.
Had a great morning with friends at church?then? I ate lunch and immediately got hives, a red rash, and my head was on fire - after a minute my skin was on fire and I knew I had an allergic reaction to something I just ate.
awww this bad- what did i eat?!
so I immediately drove to the store and got Benadryl. I only knew to get this because I had this reaction one other time last year. :/
and unfortunately I think it is cilantro!! (BUT I ate the same stuff last night, so i don't know what's up!)
Diet for the day:
Protein powder (12 grams)
toast w/ very little peanut butter + dab of honey
1/3 cup of chicken potato salad
1/3 cup of quinoa salad
----then allergic reaction
napped (didn't feel good)
Protein Powder ( 12 grams)
tomato basil soup 1/3 cup.
protein powder (28 grams)
--- horrible day for diet and nutrition. but had a good day of lifting.
28 more days till i leave the states to Asia again. I am looking forward to leaving for many reasons?. and at the same time I am not ready to leave all the goodies that the great OL' USA brings- and I mean GREAT natural Protein, awesome veggies and fruit, good bread, more than I can count supplements and protein powders! and so much more!
Its been a privilege to grow up in the states (for MANY REASONS) and have such good quality products.
I need to take advantage of all the good food for the next 28 days, bulk up, lift heavy, and work hard?. Plus stock up on supplements woo woo
So Here's to the next 28 days and checking in with bb.com to make sure I eat well and get it in!
diet today= not awful but not perfect
- oatmeal with pumpkin seeds, golden raisins, cinnamon, & soy milk.
-- jamba juice apple's and veggie smoothie- small
-- 1/2 cup potato chicken salad (small amount of mayo) - homemade
-- quinoa salad
-- coffee + creamer
-- 4 hershey kisses
-- small bite of fudge
didn't eat much today- was out and about all day :/
"IT's NOT fair!"
- This is from the book Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst
I just thought this piece was encouraging- as I try to follow the Lord and live a balanced & healthy life I also want to honor the Lord in/with everything I do, including exercise & eating right.
HOPE IT IS encouraging to others!
"A huge piece of delicious looking cake was delivered to our table. It was my favorite . . . it was our anniversary . . . and it was free! But I was at the beginning of my healthy eating adventure, which excluded sugary confections. So I graciously offered it to my husband. But inside a different dialogue was playing in my mind, ?It?s not fair!?
I think this is one of the biggest tricks Satan plays to get us to give in to temptation. Saying ?It?s not fair!? has caused many a girl to toss aside what she knows is right for the temporary thrill of whatever it is that does seem fair. We complain, ?It?s not fair that I gain weight so easily when everyone else seems to eat whatever they want and stay trim.?
Now, realize that the dessert itself is not the problem. But if one piece of dessert leads to two and that leads to other compromises, which leads to wrecking our whole healthy eating plan, then the downward spiral reflects how temptation traps us in so many areas of life. I?ve experienced this vicious cycle myself, and I?m here to give you hope that it is possible to conquer it. (so true of me!)
My pity party was a clue that I was relying on my own strength ? a strength that has failed me before and will fail me again. So, when justifications swirl in my mind ? ?It?s a special day . . . with a special person . . . what?s the harm in sampling?? ? I know I have to grab hold of God?s strength. The only way I?ve found to do that is to invite His power into the situation by mentally reciting truths such as, ?I?m more than a conqueror,? ?With God all things are possible,? or ?Let the peace of God reign in your heart.?
.... The truth is, compromising my commitments for the sake of physical pleasure is not God?s best for me.?
The same advice powerfully applies to our area of struggle. As we recite truth, God?s power can fill the gap of our weakness. I don?t know what you might be struggling with today, but I can assure you that God is just and fair. There is a good reason why we must face our temptations. The struggle to say ?no? may be painful in the moment, but the process is working out something magnificent within us."
One of the most discouraging things in life for me is falling back into old habits- bad habits that is.
I've done well on my own all year until I returned back to the West this past month. Living on my own and buying my own food has helped me to do things for me. Now that I am back at my parents house for a few months it is like I have forgotten what was important to me and just fallen backwards!
Why is that all of sudden it is okay to eat sweets and whatever any time and late at night especially?
My parents eating habits are horrible and I follow right after them when I am home. It's sad and frustrating. It is not me nor who I want to be. I don't want to give up on everything I've worked on and worked OUT!
But how to be accountable when no one in your family cares or keeps you accountable. OR says "Hey go work out" OR "hey you need to go to the gym" and then sticks chocolate in your face afterwards and gets mad if something isn't eaten that was made for dinner.
One of the major frustrations in my life are those people who are not on board with my lifestyle, but then "wants" to lose weight and be skinny. It isn't about being skinny for me or looking great! (That is the reward) IT's about living a lifestyle that is healthy emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually!
Working out and eating well involves every aspect of my life. It changes my mood. When I have an awesome workout in the morning or even just a run it changes my entire day. It relieves massive stress for me. It settles my stomach. It changes my skin and hair. It gives me energy and the ability to concentrate more on my work and relationships! It isn't just some fad diet or something that I am just trying to work on... living this lifestyle is something I want to do for life.
BUT IT IS SO DANG HARD when NO one in the family wants to be behind you or support you...except for a brother who lives in Asia ;/
So, for now, I must be so on board with myself, my goals and what I think is best for me. AND maybe that means me being more strict with how I approach my habits- good and bad.
Goals...how do I keep those?
I am so competitive...maybe what is best for me is getting into a sport again for a few months. OH I don't know.
But, just writing this all out is helpful and helps me to process things out loud.
I love that I can do that on here and no one will look at me like I am crazy (Or at least I think so)
So here is to a better month and a better day tomorrow: Wednesday.
Time to journal people!
Wow, it is already June 9th! and I said June would be better. Well, to tell you the truth, it hasn't been. Unfortunately, a new girl came in to do an internship and that just takes up time...then I left for 5 days traveling to a city that is very polluted and crowded...so I DID NOT workout at all! UGH. so bummed.
It is good to be on here again, focus again. It is an everyday commitment. I am looking forward to working out ...and when things come in my way, I cannot get to stressed. I just have to move on.
This week- more salad. LESS sugar- or NO sugar! NO nan bread, pasta, ---fruits, veggies, and good grains. I'm looking forward to next saturday when I feel a change in my body!
June WILL be BEtter! I WILL eat Better! I WILL lift more! I WILL work out more.
This is my own accountability to log in and note each day. for me and no one else, and at the same time, it is going to the world, so there is a little accountability because others are aware of what I am doing!
With that, Today is June 2. and I ate well, and only did some abs. Super busy. But beginning this week I will work out more, and even in my travels I will eat better.
No sweets for June!
I need to be more serious about my health and life. I am reading a good book--- well a little good. It is all things that I am fully aware of and already know and have studied in college, but reading these words again really "turns on" my brain to think before I eat, why I eat, and think before being impuslive.
It is Life is Hard; Food Is Easy.
Well, this week June 2- 8- I will not have nan bread on my own account, unless its offer ( I refuse 2 times) then I will if they (people) keep pushing.
And I will try really hard to not eat after 7pm. this is hard. But it can be done!
So, pushing my limits a ton!
It's crazy how fast life goes by. Just 2 years ago I was figuring this whole body building thing out and every year and summer I say, no more. I will be fit. Just last December, I was thinking, I have 6 months till summer and 8 months till I am home.
NOW- I have less than 3 months till I get on a plane! Crazy!!! and I am no where where I want to be- BUT i feel a lot better than I did last year, and I am learning a lot about fitness, nutrition, and my own body.
Stress & work has taken over my life from time to time - especially the whole month of April- and not being able to work out consistently or at all as really affected me, not just physically but emotionally and spiritually. Sounds funny to say Spiritually, but it has affected every aspect of my life. Not working out causes me to have more anxiety and more obsession about my body and more stress!!! Working out daily eliminates these things almost completely! crazy!!!
I really hope the month of May turns out better. I hope June is even better and July Is amazing!
Do you ever doubt that you can actually achieve your goals? I do! BUT, I JUST realized this!
AWWw... While traveling to another province & trying to get up everyday to run/walk/do lunges/pushups, etc & trying, but not really trying... something deep deep inside of me came up, entered my brain, and entered my heart; doubt.
It was as though the devil or something evil - myself, my flesh, was telling me that I would never be able to really achieve my goals in the fitness world. I cannot imagine ever having a fit body. I look at transformations and I feel, YES I CAN DO THAT....but in reality, when this deeeeepp thing came into my head and heart, I DON'T BELIEVE THAT!
WHY?! Part of me I guess is scared...but I am not sure why. part of me is too worried about what others will think of me...NOW isn't that dumb?! worrying about what others think...that I am too obsessed with working out and what food I will eat or not eat.
Writing has helped me to get this "thing" outside of myself.
I am super thankful that I now have a great friend who is willing to observe what I eat & help me out with that! Wow, what a difference it makes when you know someone will be watching what you eat, making comments, and is just simply AWARE of how you eat/what/how much...
I hope I can master this stupid deep doubt inside of me and overcome this challenge, this hurdle, this mountain. I want to make it to the top, take a deep breath, and then climb down and be able to say "I am satisfied with my body, I am comfortable in my skin, I actually accomplished something, I actually achieved my goals and desires for me!!"
Now that I have signed up for the BSN challenge and posted
pics its almost like I am no longer committed to just myself! I have my friends
on bb.com to keep me accountable and motivate and keep my mind going in the
Before it was just ME, Food, My mind, and the gym. and oh, how
strong our minds are and how strong my impulses are! But why do I keep failing.
It is always a struggle.
I never complete anything that has to deal with my
body. All goals are strong for a week and then they go out the window and I
start the vicious cycle all over again! Living on my own would seem to be easy
and a great way to lose weight, since no one else is buying food or putting
food in your face...except ME! I just over eat. I realized that. Just now. I
just now realized that I eat too much.
That in all reality I must be in more
control and almost "obsessive" or as the bb.com community would say -
SO HERE IS TO DEDICATION!
and showing myself that I can change, not
be in bondage to this world of binging, emotional eating, and self-doubt.
the Lord's strength, and friends and again, God, I can be free and not feel
SO HERE IS TO DEDICATION!
Here is to proving to myself that I can
accomplish goals and things I put before me!
Today I took my measurements because it has been a year and I would like them for the BSN challenge.
AS I have been feeling great about workouts and progress... I now feel overwhelmed and a bit discouraged! HOW does one gain so much stomach fat!? UGH= = yo yo dieting!
SO, took measurement, faced the facts, faced myself & reality.
I'm looking forward to a new body!
Hey bb.com buddies!
Here is the deal: I cannot get enough protein in my diet for many reasons!
UGH=> I live in Central Asia, and currently there are many rumors about eating the chicken here== NOT good to eat!
So- my only meat option is: BEEF. I live the furthest away from the sea. so no fish either.
I'm lactose Intolerant. and allergic to Eggs. I KNOW BUMMER! I'M A MESS! :/
If i take some lactate pills then I can eat some yogurt on occasion. Usually at night.
SO then there are BEANS/LENTILS AND MORE BEANS!
I pressure cooked a bunch of lentils and beans last week and have been eating them. I notice a big differnce in feeling full and actually being full. HOWEVER, I think i cannot eat to much beans/lentils because they are not helping me slim down!
I've been working out like crazy (u know, correctly) and have been eating great and yet, stomach feels bloated all the time.
WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST I DO?!
After 2.5 years of living in Asia, I am just NOW understanding how to live here as a healthy individual. "NO excuses" doesn't really exist when your priority is other people and relationships. Food is the center of everything in the cultures I interact with. It is difficult because if you don't eat (especially a home-cooked meal) then it is a huge offense to the family/individual. Some understand allergies, but mostly they just see a white American that doesn't like their food and therefore must not like who they are or their culture. -which is not true! but so many do not understand that.
For example: A mom made a huge plate of Polo (pilaf rice with carrots and lamb) for 3 girls. I mean huge. I ate what I could and she came in and stared at the plate for what seemed like forever. She then asked her new daughter-in-law: "are you finished? what's wrong with the food? do you not like it? does she (me) not like it? is it not good? why aren't you eating? why isn't it finished?!" she continued to look at the plate and I kindly told her that it was delicious and so good and I am so sorry but have to catch my bus back into the city. She was the maddest person I have ever seen because her Polo was not wiped clean on the plate. UGH! did i feel bad? YES. but more so for my friend who has to deal with it after I leave.
I cannot just take this lightly and say "to hell with them! they don't understand, all well, i need to eat clean!". It's not like that.
ON the other hand, I am learning how to "get around" the mass amount of eating by mainly seeing people before and after meals. haha. it works! I eat at home, or they come to my home, or If i know them very well, then we go to their home and they are aware of my allergies and desire to "lose weight" for my "future husband". LOL! since I am 28, in this culture, I am an old old woman who needs to get married and therefore should and needs to be thin. So my friends are understanding....for ... the most part!
HOWEVER, "no excuses" is still capable to maintain.
I'm encouraged by bb.com and the community of "No excuses". I just have to be cautious of days when I know I have to go over someone's home. For instance, every Tuesday I teach English and the family cooks for me and we all eat dinner together. Do they serve me and not allow me to serve myself? YES! do i say "oh, wow thanks so much, so good, i can serve myself!"? - yes...but does that help? NO! So what is there to do?! Tuesdays are my big leg days and added cardio. I eat well at my house all day, no carbs really, lean meat and veggies.
The biggest thing I've learned is that I must be consistent!
I must work out at the gym, go for a run, or do something at my house.
I must eat well on my own rules/grounds/in my house. If I can maintain a clean diet on my own terms then I am able to "allow" these times when I cannot "control" the environment around me.
so, here is to 5 more months in Asia (then to the states and back again at the end of the year) and here is to being super clean when I can control the situation!
I'm excited. I'm proud that I didn't eat any chocolate bars in the last week! HA. it is a great feeling to know that I am capable and have potential!