OVER 40 MUSCLE

Well, after using every excuse I could think of, I got back on track this morning. I rolled out of bed a little after 4am and was pushing iron by 5:30am. There were a few more folks at the gym this morning that on most Monday’s but I was still able to get in a good chest workout. I plan on getting beginning pics, measurements and all that good stuff posted before the end of the week.

During my down time I have added about 19 pounds. I had been reluctant to step on the scale fearing I had really packed it on. I can live with 19; for now. Soon, that will be a memory and I will be back down to my goal weight of 200 pounds.

Today’s chest workout consisted of the following;
Flat Bench DB Press – 10/10/10/8
Incline Bench Press – 10/10/10/8
Incline DB Flye – 10/8/6
DB Pullover – 10/10/8

Today’s nutrition looks like this;
Wake – toast, jelly, orange and water
Workout – 5:15am to 6:00am
6:15am – PWO shake (two scoops of protein powder, 10g Glutamine, 20 oz. Gatorade)
7:30am – Protein drink (1 cup egg whites, 1 scoop protein powder, 8 oz. water)
10:00am – Whole meal (chicken breast and corn)
12:00 pm – Protein shake
2:00 pm – Whole meal (beef, brown rice)
4:00 pm – Protein shake
6:00 pm – Whole meal (chicken breast, green peas)
8:00 pm – Whole meal (beef, sweet potato)
9:00 pm – bedtime for Bonzo

Tomorrow will be a cardio only day. Have a great Monday and do something today that will make the rest of your life better!!

I got this one in an email this morning. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.

Dear Diary,

For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.  Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.   I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.   My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.  

MONDAY:

Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess –with blonde hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!! Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring! Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!  

TUESDAY:

I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda’s rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT! It’s a whole new life for me.  

WEDNESDAY:

The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn’t try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other crap too.  

THURSDAY:

Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn’t help being a half an hour late; it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. She sent another skinny witch to find me then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine — which I sank.

FRIDAY:

I hate Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it. Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don’t have any triceps! And if you don’t want dents in the floor, don’t hand me the barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn’t it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

SATURDAY:

Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.  

SUNDAY:

I’m having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my daughter (the little jerk) will choose a gift for me that is fun — like a root canal or a hysterectomy.

I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!