Nichole’s BodyBlog

Today is my first day of eating clean! I bought all my groceries last night and prepared my meals for the next two weeks then put the in the fridge/freezer. I am so excited to star this, after all the junk last month it got to  point where I was just sick of living that way. I think that’s what I needed to have happen. So, starting on friday I will be taking pictures/measurements each week for motivation. I’m scared of the sugar withdrawals but I know in a month I will start feeling amazing!

I know, I know.. slacking on the updates.. I’ve been eating bad.. weight has been stuck at the same place(122 lbs).. I am upping my workout tomorrow.. I was going to do the same weights on all machines but 2 sets of 10 instead of 3 sets of 5.. instead, I am staying at 3 sets of 5 but taking the weights up to the highest amount I can manage. I had been starting low and wanting to slowly build up but I feel like it’s doing nothing for me!! I want to feel the aches after the workout that show I am getting somewhere!! So it will be done…

So I havne’t updated since Friday. Xander had his shots and I’ve been watching him like a hawk for side effects. But he’s alright, so now I am back to business. I’ve basically been pigging out every day, but my weight has stayed put. I am going to begin not eating after 8 tonight in order to maybe help myself get ready for the huge diet change in July.

I had a good workout yesterday. I had to walk an hour to get to the gym and an hour home, and I was wearing my 18.6 lb baby in his carrier the whole way! I was mad about having to walk there at first but I think this could really help me lose some weight! I had to work out my full body to make up for missing Friday. I HOPE I don’t miss anymore lower body workouts, because that’s my problem area!!

I didn’t get to the gym tonight. Xander had his first set of vaccines and I wanted to be by his side all night. This, to me, is a good reason to skip the gym. Yes, I want to be fit, but Xander is number one. I ate pretty healthy all day, but an old friend is staying with me tonight so I ate pizza and banana cream pie. I was actually okay with it this time, it wasn’t in secret and I felt that is a huge improvement.

I didn’t get a chance to check in yesterday, as I was out all day. Yesterday I ate all the rest of the muffins. I had a huge bowl of pasta for dinner and ended up pigging out on protein last night. Another bad day, but not quite as bad as the days leading up to it. I had trouble sleeping again last night because of my full stomach, so I slept until noon AGAIN. Tomorrow Xander needs to see the doctor, so I have to force myself to get up at 9 to make the appointment. I am hoping that it works out, and that it’s the thing that sets my schedule back to normal. I somehow lost that pound I gained, but I still should be losing constantly, not going up and down like crazy!

Today I’m feeling mad at myself again
Don’t know why I baked 12 muffins yesterday when I could’ve just thrown the mixtures out. I ended up having two more before bed. I have been gaining a pound a day lately, and all the inches I lost after giving birth are for nothing… Not to mention I slept until noon again!! Ugghh… When will the cravings stop? I guess it will take a few weeks to get it out of my system, I should probably take things more serious leading up to July.

I have decided to put in a note each day about what I ate and how I feel.. That way, if July comes and I have any doubts about wanting to eat clean I can go over the month’s entries and remind myself of how much I want this..
Today I ate too many cookies to count. They were disgusting, yet I ate them anyway. This was following an entire package of Uncle Ben’s cheddar broccoli rice!! Because of this I wasn’t hungry come dinner time. This led to me binging at 10 PM on 4 large muffins.. I also fried veggie sausage and dipped it in ranch.. It is 11:30 and I’m doubting that I will be able to sleep at 12. My pants feel really snug in the waist and legs, and every movement I make is very uncomfortable. I feel way too full, and extremely upset with myself for not being able to control my eating.. what kind of example am I going to set for Xander by living this way?

Xander is now 3 months old, which is the time that is recommended to get serious about diet/exercise postpartum.. I have been seriously slacking on my eating habits.. I seem to have developed a food addiction when I was pregnant and it’s seeming hard to break! It has been getting worse and worse, to the point where I ate tons of junk food every night for the past 2 weeks. It is disgusting!! I’m not getting anything done around my apartment or for myself because I just feel so crappy! I even missed going to the gym two fridays in a row, which is soo not like me!! I have decided it’s time to get this under control, and it is time to seriously tone up my body!!

So, I am buying everything I need this month to get rid of my money.. no money means no way to buy junk food! Hopefully then I can use the rest of this month to detox from all that crap!! Next month, when I get paid and have the money for it, I will be buying all "clean" foods and beginning a diet as clean as possible! I am going to have to do a lot of planning, and find a lot of recipes but in my mind it is worth it!! I am vegetarian though so I have to take what I can get as far as meat replacements go. The ones I buy don’t seem to have sugar added to them, so it wont be too hard!

I am going to spend this month searching for good recipes. I will only be spending $110 every two weeks on food, so this makes my selection slightly limited. But when I move to a new apartment in August, I will also start stocking up on bulk items such as whole wheat pasta, rice, peanut butter, etc..

As far as exercise goes, right now I am doing the following:

Monday - Upper Body

Tuesday - 20 minute walk

Wednesday - Midsection

Thursday - 20 minute walk

Friday - Lower Body

Saturday - 20 minute walk

Sunday - nothing

This is okay. Not what I would LOVE to be doing, but I am breastfeeding so I have to take it easy and work by slowly upping my workouts every 4 weeks so that my milk supply doesn’t dry up. The week of June 22nd I will be upping the amount of reps I do on my weight training, and taking the length of my walks up to 30 minutes. I will also be beginning a full body workout on Wednesday, instead of a midsection only. I will continue upping every 4 weeks, and once Xander is 6 months old and begins eating solid food I will be moving my cardio to the gym. There I will be doing 20 minutes on the treadmill, 20 minutes on the bike, and 20 minutes on the cross-trainer.

To keep myself motivated I will be joining in on the forums on this website, and tracking my progress every Friday. I don’t want to get too carried away to a point of falling back into my past eating disorder, but clearly keeping progress is the only way things will happen for me. I will make sure to keep my goal a fitness one, not a thinness one.