nic902’s BodyBlog

HERE SHE IS…my new suit arrived today!!!! I absolutely love her I havent tried it on yet, as boy oh boy those bottoms are teeny, teeny, TINY! I’ve got 7 weeks and 3 days (but whose counting) to tighten this booty up!!! I was feeling tight and lean today until I held up my suit and saw how much more work I have to do Its all good….I am more excited than ever, and having the suit already will help keep me fully motivated on my diet and cardio.  I am going to be sprinting my ass off….literally!!!! I really love the color and stoning (the pic doesnt do it justice) and my hair is still black, so I think the combo will really pop under the lights on stage.

It was made by Lidia Conti http://www.lidiaconti-bodywear.com/ This is the 3rd suit she has done for me….I HIGHLY recommend her! She is INCREDIBLE!!!!

Time for the ever-important updates! da-da-dum-dum-DUM…I am 8 weeks out and starting to freak a bit. The scale hasnt been moving and while that isnt the be all end all….the mirror aint lookin too hot either. I had posing class yesterday and after seeing me, my trainer decided to make some slight tweaks…nothing too drastic, dropping some carbs and adding some sprints. Hopefully, that should get things moving again…I like to be show ready a little early, so I can cruise and be stress free the last 2 weeks. Thats why having a trainer is so important to me…there is no way I could do my prep alone. I freak too easily and would cut cals too low and do too much cardio then come in stringy and flat. Also…I am SOOOOO F#CKIN SORE!!! Posing is not as easy as it looks and it takes a lot of hard work to make it look effortless…my whole body is sore, Plus I trained quads this morning. There is a good chance I may not be able to get out of bed in the morning LOL

I saw the E! special on female bodybuilding and I was less than thrilled with it. The first half focused on roids WAY too much…just re-enforcing the stereotypes. I also wasnt diggin the whole ‘fetish’ side of the sport, yes…it is a real aspect but not competitors let men touch them for money. The story of Siren from AG was very sad…I loved her as a kid, so her ending was an unfortunate one.  It did profile 2 women getting ready for competition and I thought that was pretty cool, as it showed how hard they train and how strict their diets are…the effect is has on their social lives…or lack thereof. Since its only an hour long, there is only so much they can fit in and obviously just showing the comp prep wouldnt be a highly watched show. But, I know I would be tuned in OK OK OK…I’m done ranting ’bout that!

Today a woman at the gym approached me and asked my opinion on doing a juicing detox cleansing diet…."since you’re always drinking diet juice" LMFAO….its Xtend dumbass Anywho…Look, I’ve done EVERY stupid tactic to lose weight since I was like 12 and the reality is NOTHING works EXCEPT……a CLEAN diet and HEAVY weight training. You body is an amazing machine…fuel it with clean foods and your body will cleanse itself, you dont have to do any crazy tricks! Keep it simple!!!!!

Whew..see, I warned you that I was full of opinions today Other than that, I’m having a lazy sunday….gym, food shopping and watching the game. Unassisted Triple-Play to end the game….oh, this is so our year again…already ordered my playoff tix!!!!! Okey Dokey, my rambling is done for now….have a fan-tab-u-lous sunday!!!

Be prepared for a novel! Its been a while since I last babbled about all the $hit going on in my head/life. So here I am…9wks out!!! I’m sitting at 114.2lbs so I’ve got 6lbs to get down to my competition weight and I know I can do it. Secretly, I’m hoping to maybe drop an extra 2lbs so I’m even leaner than my last show. My trainer increased my cardio this week, up to 5x a week…I’m only doing steady state right now and as my weight loss stalls, we’ll add in some sprinting. I dont like cardio BUT I’d much rather work harder and burn more calories, than CUT calories…ME like to eat My diet has been on point since my last blog, when I started my prep. I’m hitting my macros daily…no more cheats/treats/binges or whatever the f@ck you want to call it. I feel good…mentally and physically, which is a nice place to be. My goal is keep this feeling AFTER my show, which is when I tend to lose it and go through all the post comp blahs…I LOVE prepping, its living normal that I struggle with. I ordered my suit a while back, so I should have that in the next few weeks and I will be sure to post some pics as soon as it arrives…not with me wearing it of course I went with a darker green…technically, its called ‘evergreen’. All I know is….its green, velvet and BLINGED out!!!! It should look rockin with my hair still being black.

As far as all the other areas of my life, things are much better than they were. Anyone that has read my prevous blogs knows that life has been really difficult for me the past month or so, but luckily I seem to be on a more positive track. EVERY experience, even the $hitty ones are worth it….its all a learning experience, tough times show you how strong you are and what you’re really made of! And I am one rock solid bitch!!!! As a little reward for how well I’ve been handling things…prep, life, stress ect…I treated myself to a new piercing I got my nape done and of course, I love it…so freakin cute! A lot of people keep asking ‘why??’—because I want to and I’m running out of other places to put them! LOLOLOLOLOL!

OOH…I have a silly little gym story to share too! Today I was at the gym and this dude was asking me why I’m there so much, blah, blah, blah…I said that I compete, my goals, blah, blah and then he says "So, do you use??" I said "no and if I did, I’d want my money back!!!" Jackass…I’m 5′4", 114lbs and I size 1, if I’m using then something went terribly wrong LMFAO!!!! People are so weird. I wouldnt just assume something like that and if I did I wouldnt ask…quite frankly, its not really any of my business! Oh and the other day, some old guy (60 or so) tried telling me the ‘right’ way to train…I was lifting in the 6-8rep range and apparently, thats too hard for me…he said that I need to make it easy, by hitting 20-25reps! WOW—thank you so much, I had no idea THEN he got cranky with me when I said I didnt need his help, and that I know what I’m doing. Whats wrong with people???? Why dish out information I have ZERO interest in…not to mention WRONG info!!!!

Whew…told ya, I had a lot to ramble about! So I dont blame anyone that didnt make it through…its OK if you nodded off for a while ;) Hee hee! Today, I’m kickin on the couch with my babies watching the Phillies game….I’m a simple chick! I hope everyone has a fabulous weekend

So, as I’ve said in my previous blogs my diet has been horrible lately. I know why and I now have things cleaned up and on the right path. I have had a lot going on personally the past few weeks….so upset/stressed ect. If I’m pissed off or happy, the whole world will know about it but if I’m sad, vulnerable or hurt I tend to keep it to myself. I dont like being one of those weak, emotional chicks….so I tend to eat my feelings. My binging has been uncontrollable for a while but once I realized why I was doing it, I was able to fix it. I got back to journaling everynight, which helps my clear my head. I finally feel like I’m mentally in a good place…like I’m back to my old self

Now, unfortunately….I took a look at the calendar and saw that the show I plan on doing is only 11wks away!!!! HOLY $HIT time flys…What the F#CK have I been doing???? So, I can clearly see the weight that I gained over the last few weeks so I finally got on the scale to see how much damage I’ve done…I’m up 10.5lbs from my comp weight I was horrified that there was no way I can do the show and that I totally f#cked up! I talked with my trainer this morning and he assured me that I didnt "completely blow it" like I had feared. I have to get back on my progam ASAP…which I have since wednesday. I’m figuring hitting my macros with clean food will help some of the extra weight fall off, so I’ll see where I am next week. I started looking at suits today as I’m going to have to order one with in the next couple of days!!! I also plan on doing something that I have been avoiding….taking some pics (dum da dum!) I am scared to see what things really look like

Its been SUCH a long week so now, I’m looking forward to chillin on the couch with my puppies and watching Cliff Lee make his Phillies debut!!! btw…I LOVE the trade–I’m feelin another parade down broad street hee hee…ok, enough of my babbling…have a fantabulous friday!!!

cause its been dark as hell lately!!! Not a whole lot has changed since my last blog….unfortunately, my diet has still been piss f*ckin poor My binging has been out of hand, it really has me so dissappointed with myself. I made a promise that I wasnt going to let that happen again and yet I went from allowing post comp ‘treats’ to engaging in full blown binges. I havent stepped on the scale…I am terrified to see the damage I’ve done, although its quite obvious when I look in the mirror! Things in my life have been tough lately, so I’m assuming thats why I’ve been so out of control. Now, that I found the source I hope I can find the solution. My training has still been kick ass….so maybe I’ll luck out and make some muscle gains My diet is 110% today, so hopefully that will be a trend that continues to snowball.

Anywho…on a brighter note, I got the DVD from my show! It was very cool to see my self in action I am looking forward to competing again in October, which is a HUGE reason I must get on track IMMEDIATELY!!! I dont want to have to do a drastic, harsh prep because I screwed up so badly. I have posing class tomarrow and I’m really looking forward to it….not exactly thrilled about the heels but I hope practicing again will help me regain my focus.

I also have a funny lil gym story to share….the other day I was training (back/ham, MY FAVE!!!) and there was some dude training his girl. I usually see the same people at the time I go but they must be new since I didnt recognize them, but they sure enjoyed watching me! The chick was staring at me as I was doing Tbar rows, db deads and hi pully cable rows…she then asked her BF what I was doing and he said "oh dont watch her, shes lifting like a man….thats how women get beastly" LMFAO!!!! One of the guys that I always see there just smiled at me and we couldnt help but laugh…so then on my last set of deads, I HAD to drop the DB’s and growl HAHAHAH I just couldnt help myself!!! Yes, its that easy to get big muskulls!! But to be honest—I AM PROUD TO LIFT LIKE A MAN and to me, being called a beast is quite the compliment!

So, I may have been down lately but I’m still my goofy, dorky self. Now, I have to get all my $hit together for tomarrow…working, then posing class so I gotta have that cooler stocked

I think that title pretty much says it all…this week SUCKED!! I am so happy that its over. When I type I usually just babble and I tend to forget that people actually read/follow my blogs, but as many of you probably know–after my first show I fell back into a binging cycle and gained WAY more fat than I had planned. Then, while prepping for my last show I was dealing with a lot of personal $hit which made my life really stressful. I was VERY proud to say that after this show I was able to enjoy my treats/cheat meals without letting it roll into a huge disaster…until this week. I dont really know what exactly got into me! I went out to dinner on saturday night, then grabbed a few extra snacks here and there on sunday night. I felt horrible (physically/mentally) by monday. Then at work on tuesday there were goodies EVERYWHERE and over the course of a day a handful here and there quickly adds up…I figured the whole day was shot and ending up eating everything in sight when I got home. By Wednesday I was bloated, had a headache and felt weak…my workout was AWFUL. I was done with all this bull$hit!!!! Plus, I got some really $hitty personal news which obviously didnt help. Then thursday rolled around and I was not going to give into temptation, I made it through a long 12hr day at work without cheating….until I had to put all the crap away, and boy did I!!! Yep, I gave in and stuffed my face…then I came home and it just continued. I was so pissed off at myself, I’m better than that. So now I sit up 10lbs in just 7 days.

I am happy to say after a good talking to by my favorite Serb (you are the best!!!!), I am ready to kick my ass back into reality…I can make the right decisions that will lead me to my goals. I know that there is no way I gained 10lbs of fat in a week, its just water, bloat ect…My first instinct was to cut calories for the next week and bump up the cardio to make up for the damage I did. BUT I know that is just another cycle of bad habits that I dont want to fall back into, so as of this morning I am back to eating clean…hitting the macros I’m supposed to and doing the same cardio that I have been. The weight will just regulate itself.

I dont want this blog to sound like I’m bitching or whining but its something I needed to post. I get a lot of messages from chicks giving me props for my will power, asking advice on how to stay disiplined…so I had to let them know that everyone has personal struggles and nobody is perfect all the time. If you slip up—be it for 1 day or for a week, you have to just learn something from it, let it go and start fresh.

Now, I’m off to prep my meals/sups for work and the gym tomarrow….I will be prepared for success

Hey, ya cant say I didnt warn you!!! I havent had much time to sit and babble, but I wanted to update everyone on my the nutty place I call my life First off, my training has been freaking awesome!!!! I started a new routine after my show and it is really intense…I am so freaking sore, even my delts and bis which never really stay sore. My hammies are killing me—glute/ham raises are no joke…my glute/him tie in will be FLAWLESS!!! This booty is gonna POP I seriously love it and look forward to the gym everyday, but I do have a rest day penciled in this week cause I know I need it. I am not a social person when I’m in the gym but lately people have been wanting to chat with me—I have been getting some major props…everything from my form, to the weight I’m moving. One guy even told me that he HEARD I compete and wanted to chat about it since he does too! Its cool…but who the hell is yappin about me???? LMAO!!!

Of course, ya cant talk training without diet…which I’m pretty happy with how balanced I’ve been. As of friday morning I was back down to my comp weight of 108lbs So I decided to celebrate the 4th of July with some fireworks and by going out for a delicious dinner, appetizer and dessert included LOL!!! That was my second cheat in as many weeks, so it will be my last one for a while. As I expected, I was bloated and feeling sluggish today. It definitely effected my workout…coming down from my sugar high. I also went to the game today (PHILLIES SWEEP THE METS!!!!) but I had my fully stocked cooler with me. I’m not going to lie, I wanted a cheesesteak so bad but I’m not going to let my diet get out of control. I have been able to keep my cheats to a meal but the temptations to let it roll into a whole day or a snack here and there is tough. I want to stay lean and make progress in the gym and I know eating $hit all the time will not help me get there. I do plan on having fun this summer (and I have) but at the same time the mental struggle to be ‘normal’ is a daily fight. Me not being ‘normal’ is kinda the story of my life I’ve never been good at ‘normal’ hee hee…and I like it like that!

Anywho, I hope everyone had a happy 4th…time to get back to the clean eating lifestyle! I have to go make my food for tomarrow….I love my structured tupperware way of life  

Oooh and another very cool thing is that I have an athlete profile on a natural bb site…check me out! http://www.liftforlife.com/nicole_gray.htm

After I enjoyed all my post competition yummys, I am proud to say I have been back on a super clean diet!!! I got on the scale this morning at 110.8lbs which is only a couple pounds above my stage weight My trainer wants me to maintain at 112-115lbs which is totally do-able. I’ve been hitting my new macros and been very satisifed thus far, I am digging the increase in carbs. My new routine is definitely a killer and I LOVE it!! I hate taking rest days but I took one on thursday and it was needed…my body was so sore but I felt good as new this morning and felt re-energized!!!

I had planned on having a cheat meal tomarrow…doing the family BBQ thing and I was totally OK with doing it, not beating myself up at all! As it turns out, plans fell through but I thought ‘why not go out and enjoy myself anyway’….I had planned for this anyway, so why not take advantage of it??? Then doubt begins to creep into my head…I have the opportunity to keep it clean so I should, I shouldnt ‘look’ for reasons to have a treat…ect. Truth be told, I NEVER have little treats….EVER!!!! I prefer to keep my diet clean since I am a binge eater…I cant have just one bite of something naughty, I have to have it all   Which is why I gained so much fat after my last show, and am not going to let that happen this time around. I actually thought I had conquered it but sure enough it occasionally rears its ugly head. My trainer told me to have a treat and enjoy myself…he set a target weight for me and 1 meal isnt going to throw that out the window. So after agruing with myself, I decided that I am going to go out and enjoy myself…me and my BF never go out much anymore so it will be a welcome treat. We’re going to the Amish market, since the last time we went I was prepping and couldnt have a taste As long as I keep it to a meal and not blow the whole day, then I’ll be a HAPPY girl! I’ll just keep telling myself "its one meal…NO BIG DEAL!!!"

Well, wasnt that a fun little read LMAO!!! Sorry for the bummer of a blog…..Now, I’m going to listen to the storm with my doggies and HOPE the Phillies can remember how to win!!!!!

Time is really flying…I cant believe its been a week since my show already!! I am happy to say that its been a really great week. Of course I enjoyed my post comp food party and I definitely carried the binge-fest into Sunday…who doesn’t love peanut butter and bananas for breakfast???  That was just the start, I ATE EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING I could get my hands on I felt like $hit and quickly remembered why junk food is so bad for you but I’m not going to lie…the cheesesteak, fries and ice cream I had at the game on Sunday were DELICIOUS!!!  I learned a lot from my first show, so this time the binging will not have a carry over effect. I was up to 120lbs by the time I went to bed on Sunday night, but at the crack of dawn on Monday morning I was back to CLEAN eating. LOL Now the sexy, bloated belly didn’t fully go down until Wednesday but I felt better keeping it clean! This morning I weighed in at 111.6 which is just 3.6lbs more than I was a week ago…so all in all I’m pretty f@ckin happy bout that J I was back in the gym on Tuesday and it felt great to hit the weights again—I am so sore and I love it, every part of my body aches!!!

I met with my trainer today and he put together my next plan of action!!! He gave me some new macros (carbs YAY!!) and an intense new workout program. Since I plan on hitting the stage again in October he wants me to keep my weight around 113-115lbs. I plan on keeping my diet 99% clean with an RARE treat meal (just 1 meal…not day!) so it shouldn’t be hard to keep my weight steady.  I know that there isnt enough time to make drastic changes to my body but I definitely know that I can make small improvements and look even better than I did this time around.

Now, I have to fold some laundry, make food for tomarrow…then snuggle with my babies and hope the Phillies can comeback and win a F@CKIN game before I get cranky!!!!

btw…the above pics are from my Applebees feast! The dessert was so yummy and my belly was starting to get VERY round And I wonder why people look at me like I’m nuts LMAO!!!

YAY!!! I got me some new hardware I had such a blast at my show…it was an incredible experience. The competition was really tough, those girls were KILLER! I placed 3rd in Open and 4th in Novice…I’M SO HAPPY! I made great improvements to my physique from my last show, so I am proud of the package I brought to the stage. I had even more fun this time around, I wasnt nervous at all…not once! I had my friend backstage with me…taping my ass in my suit and lubing me up (SO HOT!). Shes awesome, helped make my day run super smooth! I had a huge smile and confidence all day. Even during my figure walk, I actually had some attitude and worked it….must be all the ‘Drag Race’ I watch LMFAO!!!! It was funny when I was doing my walk, I was the ONLY figure girl using rock music and all the BB’s backstage freaked out and thought they were supposed to be on!!! HAHHAAH I’ve always been different than the average chick It was definitely worth all the hard work and strict dieting, there are no words to describe the feeling of being on stage and hearing your number called….its INCREDIBLE! Everyone was so cool, the bonding backstage is really great…not catty like you would expect from women. People were offering help, sharing food ect…very cool! I finally got to meet SmallguyJoe…we were prepping for this show together, he did AWESOME! Be sure to drop by his profile and show him some love..a great guy that busted his ass and deserves those trophies!

Needless to say, I’m feeling like **** today Oh yeah, you know I enjoyed my post comp meal!!! I went to Applebees afterward and GOT MY EAT ON!!! I had potato skins, buffalo wings, chips/salsa, chicken fajatas (loaded w/ CHEESE!) and a cookie ice cream sundae…OMFG it was delicious. I took all these pics of me eating and everyone in there was lookin like I was insane….come to think of it, I must have looked it! Oh yeah, and you know I tore into some PB when I got home!!! HAHAH I couldnt help myself. I’m going to the Phillies game today and I planned of treating myself but, I’m not feeling to good so not sure about that one.

I really appreciate all the support and words of encouragement! When I logged online and saw how excited everyone was for me…it brought a HUGE smile to my face! BBDiesel and my crazy SERB…I love you guys!! You F@CKIN ROCK!!!!