Reality punches me in the mouth…EEEK!!!
So, as I’ve said in my previous blogs my diet has been horrible lately. I know why and I now have things cleaned up and on the right path. I have had a lot going on personally the past few weeks….so upset/stressed ect. If I’m pissed off or happy, the whole world will know about it but if I’m sad, vulnerable or hurt I tend to keep it to myself. I dont like being one of those weak, emotional chicks….so I tend to eat my feelings. My binging has been uncontrollable for a while but once I realized why I was doing it, I was able to fix it. I got back to journaling everynight, which helps my clear my head. I finally feel like I’m mentally in a good place…like I’m back to my old self 
Now, unfortunately….I took a look at the calendar and saw that the show I plan on doing is only 11wks away!!!! HOLY $HIT time flys…What the F#CK have I been doing???? So, I can clearly see the weight that I gained over the last few weeks so I finally got on the scale to see how much damage I’ve done…I’m up 10.5lbs from my comp weight 
I was horrified that there was no way I can do the show and that I totally f#cked up! I talked with my trainer this morning and he assured me that I didnt "completely blow it" like I had feared. I have to get back on my progam ASAP…which I have since wednesday. I’m figuring hitting my macros with clean food will help some of the extra weight fall off, so I’ll see where I am next week. I started looking at suits today as I’m going to have to order one with in the next couple of days!!! I also plan on doing something that I have been avoiding….taking some pics (dum da dum!) I am scared to see what things really look like 
Its been SUCH a long week so now, I’m looking forward to chillin on the couch with my puppies and watching Cliff Lee make his Phillies debut!!! btw…I LOVE the trade–I’m feelin another parade down broad street 
hee hee…ok, enough of my babbling…have a fantabulous friday!!!
July 31, 2009 at 7:29 pm
You will make it happen, Nicole!
The reason I know this is because anyone with kick a$$ calves like yours can do anything!
-Jeff
August 2, 2009 at 2:24 am
And a great debut Cliff Lee did make. A 4 hitter I believe. GO PHILLIES! Good luck with training for your next show.
August 2, 2009 at 2:25 pm
Best of luck to u….even though I ‘m confident that you can and will do this!
August 3, 2009 at 3:22 pm
uh did you write this or me?? haha my wedding was about the same time as your comp and i gained as much as you and just got back this week too (mentally) weird how we can be soooo good for sooo long n then it’s sooo hard to get up when we slip down right? i was on the same ride as you apparently… but i’m excited to see you going at it again!
August 4, 2009 at 12:38 pm
all i can say is, you girls impress me SO much, i dont know how you do it! WOW
August 4, 2009 at 6:47 pm
What happened to you was a temporary setback. We all have them from time to time. We’re human; we f**k up. It’s in our nature. What we have to do is push the hair out of our face, hitch up our pants, and get back to work. You can do it, Nicole. There is no doubt in my mind, and there should be none in yours.
August 6, 2009 at 5:31 pm
For me I seem to have to wrap my brain around getting serious before I actually do it. Looks like you’ve got a grasp of things now and are hittin’ it hard. YOU CAN DO IT! I’m cheering for you!
August 7, 2009 at 1:24 pm
Nic, i feel ya ! I gained 12 lbs post show too. but I feel a lot of it was water weight since I was so depleted for the show. I started my comp diet last week and I feel good already so once you are on your comp diet again for a week, I think you’ll be on point. Stay blessed,JenCan