nic902’s BodyBlog

i’ve been having a really rough week….and its ONLY wednesday! i knew that gaining weight would not be an easy thing for me to do—mentally. I have cut out my cardio and increased my calories…all clean. hell, if i’m feeling a little extra hungry…i’ll eat a little more. for some reason this week has just been really tough on me. i havent weighed myself since last week, so i have no idea where my weight stands but i’m just feeling really "blah". i have been having a "fat" week if you will i’m not very happy with how soft my belly is right now…the abs, not as ripped as they were  i was insanely hungry tonight…so i ate, and ate and ate! LOL—the worse part (or the best depending on how you look at it) is that i ate oats…dry, just me…my tub of oats and a spoon! damn…it was good, but now my tummy is really not happy and i feel like crap! yes…i binged on oats :p i dont know why my hunger has been so out of contol this week. there has been a lot of stress in my life—much more than usual, so i dont know if that may be triggering things. all i know is that this is NOT how i want to gain!

i tried going to sleep earlier but i had to get this off my chest! now, i’m going to attempt to go to bed again—tomarrow is a new day!

happy sunday to all!! in my last blog, i was bummed about losing weight but in talking with my trainer today we’ve decided that my diet looks good so i won’t make any changes to it right now but i’m dropping the cardio. i had cut back, but i guess i’ve still been doing to much. now, i get to sleep in an extra 45 min every morning

today i went to my posing class for the first time! i was really nervous since i’ve never done this before…but i’m so glad that i went! it really helped with my shyness but i know i still have a long way to go! i was the only figure chick there…the others were bodybuilders, but they were so helpful and really friendly! i got a lot of 1-1 work with my trainer as well as a comp judge that was there…i’ve got a ton of practice ahead of me! learning the quarter turns and t-walk are hard enough, but doing it in hooker shoes…OMG! look, i may be a chick, but i’m not super girly. i prefer to not wear shoes at all…if i do i’m all about flip flops! i am going to have to LIVE in my comp shoes to look natural in them…right now, i walk like a dude–LOL  i had a wicked leg workout this morning, plus 2 hrs of posing…my body is going to be sore tomarrow

i made it home just in time to see the phillies lose and mets win…now, tied for 1st with a big series this week! oh yeah, i was one of the millions to see ‘the dark night’ this weekend…AMAZING film, if you havent see it yet…make sure you do! i cant wait to see it again!!!  anywho, i hope everyone had a fabulous weekend…its time for dinner, then i’m going to lay down and relax

yes i’m growling…dammit! i weighed myself this morning–the first time in 2 weeks and i lost 2 pounds!!!! so, now i’m back down to 105 pounds i had a great back and shoulder workout with my trainer today but he was not happy with my weight loss. it looks like my body adjusted to the increase in calories…my metabolism is on FREAKING FIRE!! its so funny that my whole life i struggled with losing weight and NEVER had a problem packing on the pounds—LOL! so, i’m going to increase the calories again this week, not just on my training days but on my rest days as well…hey muscles grow during rest right???

on sunday i am taking my first posing class!!! my trainer teaches it and we both think it would be a great idea for me to take it, as a start to getting over my stage fright. i’m nervous but very excited! if i’m ever going to get on a stage in front of a huge crowd…i have to first be able to do it in a room full of strangers  

my bf is out for the night, so my date with batman will have to wait for tomarrow! my dinner is almost done…so i’m going to eat, fold laundry, snuggle with brody and watch my phillies kick off the second half! LETS GO PHILS!!!!!!  

WOO HOO!!! i’m up another pound as of this morning…up to 107.5!!! it feels good to be making progress i want to keep the gains slow…super clean bulking! i worked out with my trainer this morning and he KILLED my legs…it was such fun it was the first time we worked out together since the show last weekend, so we talked a lot about my impressions of it ect…i went to pre-judging as well as the night show, so i had my favorites and i was really happy that all the chicks i liked placed in the top 3! it makes me feel like i have an idea of what the judges look for and more importantly what I want to look like! we talked a lot about my shyness and battling with wicked stage fright. i am a very wacky, loud and outgoing person in my daily life but the thought of getting on stage terrifies me! i sat and watched the chicks do their walks and get their trophys…i was so jealous! i WANT to be up there and i WANT a trophy…i cant let fear hold me back and my trainer insists that by the time i get on stage i will be 110% ready and confident to rock it and own it! boy i hope he’s right

today after my workout i went tanning real quick. so since i just worked out then tanned…my veins were insane and as i was walking out of the tanning salon there were 2 dudes hanging outside in the parking lot and i overheard them talking about me. they were talking about how ‘ripped’ i am…ect then the ones says "damn, look at her biceps…thats hot!" i guess a lot of chicks like the hooting and cat calling but i think thats really lame…compliment my muscles, makes me smile :p

no big BBQ plans for me today…i’ll be down at the phillies game! i have box seats for tonight, the start of a HUGE 4 games series with the mets…i’ll also be down there sunday too!!! should be a fun weekend—i hope the other people in the box dont mind my tuna  

i hope everyone has a safe and happy 4th of july!!!!