Naty’s BodyBlog

Ok,so this might be the last blog….i don’t really know,since my mood changes by the hour……I decided to take it really easy on these impossible"goals" that i had set since i joined bodyspace.Yes,i know people have ups and downs,and so many have fall off the wagon a lot of times….but me,i just have no limits whatsoever.So i been following the perfect plan that jason’s given me and it works,as long as you stay on it…i am supossed to cheat(just one meal) on saturdays….this weekend,however it turns to be a fest for me.I went to town on pizza,pastas,bread…food,food,food…….yo
u guys don’t even know how i look right now…..i may have gained easily like 8 pounds…and i am not kiddin…..I am so embarrased,and awfully guilty,as well as depressed…right now,as i’m typing this,i’m crying…(everybody would be like:OMG what a LOSER)…and i do feel like that,because everytime i have the chance to reward myself having a treat i overdo it…EVERY SINGLE TIME…..is like i never learn the lesson…..I eat like there is no tomorrow…and why?…i can’t find the answer….perhaps i am meant to fail or perhaps i am so stupid to not see what the consequences are,being in the exact same place as i was when i started dieting…..is ridiculous!!!!!!!…….What’s worse is that i did not only failed myself,but my cyber trainer Jason..(omg if he only knew)…..anyways……I am tired of this.Why do i do this to myself?,why can’t i be just happy?,why is it so hard to set limits and remember where i was and who i am today?,Is it because something’s missing in my life?,perhaps the lack of social life,work or family?………..why am i my own worst enemy?and why am i continuing failing?……am i ever going to learn from my mistakes and take action once and for all?…………..who knows…….

All i know for now is that of course i will continuing training,hard,that is no problem to me…..as far as for food……cheating it has to be out of the picture for a long time…..i have to stop all this drama of guilty pleassure….obviously it takes a big toll on me….and the only reward i get from it is depression….not worth it at all………Sorry i deleted all my pics,but just looking at them makes me feel really bad and dissapointed…and about posting new ones,who knows when i will be able to do it, i am not near confident to show how bad i am looking,and i know that in a week i will not be back to my own self…this will take minimum a month and from then we’ll see how i’m doing and how i’m looking.

Also i will not be spending so much time,like i always do,on this site,since all i will get is obsession over a goal that i always dreamed off,but is more than obvious than i am not cut out for it…and that is:being shredded…….so for now i will do the best i can,and perhaps one day in the future i may find the missing tool that i need to achieve that goal.I have realized that everytime that i take one step forward,i do something to find myself ten steps behind from where i was…..the story of my life:I love food more than myself…….PATHETIC…..simple as that.

Everybody look up for me and see me as an inspiration….and i am wondering…really?….inspiration for what:FAILURE?,that’s all i’ve done so far……..if you look in the dictionary the word dissapointment,my face is there,because that is me…………………..

So anyways…..i’m gonna go and do something else before i go crazy……until next time……….me.

meal 1: complete whey(cytosport) and oats

meal 2: Lean dessert shake and sweet potatoe

meal 3: Vpx zero carb shake,PB sandwich

meal 4:3 oz tilapia,1/2 cup zuchinnis

meal 5:1/2 cup cottage cheese,1 serving PB

meal 6:4 whites and small salad

Absolutely awsome workout.Starting with shoulders,followed by bis and tris and finishing with the most exhausting cardio ever……….I am so back into the game that it makes me really proud off getting to fit in my weights and cardio all in one session….and obviously by the end of the day i am exhausted but is all so worth it.I started to understand the importance of cardio and how much of a difference makes .Is only my third day of intense cardio and i have to say that in this short time i see my body like never before;I even weight less than ever(like on my high carb days i usually weight around 122,and my lighter days i weight 118),well  today is my third day of moderate-high carb and i am currently at 119…wooohooo,can’t wait for saturday to come,that’s when i usually weight myself since is my third day of very low carb day.I have to admit that as the days go by,the HIIT sessions are more and more dificult,but i push myself to finish those 30 minutes,because if i don’t then i will be fooling myself and i will continue draggin and slacking off on the cardio part and is time to get serious and commit to what i desire…a ripped - fit body,like a fitness model.

Anyways….my quads,butt,back,every part of my body is in pain,but i love it,i can gladly say that i am actually working my ass off.Later on  i will post my meals for today.

Legs workout,emphasised on quads….my lord,they were burning..can’t complain,got my lifting like a pro.Cardio,same thing….sweating like a pig,but i have to get my cardio done.

My meals for today:

meal1:lean dessert and oats

meal 2: same as above

meal3:3 oz chicken,3 rice cakes,1 serving thinfat

meal 4: 3 oz tilapia and broccolli

meal 5: 1/2 cup cottage cheese,1 serving PB,2 toast

meal 6: 4 whites and small salad.

meal 1: muscle milk and oats

meal 2:lean dessert and oats

meal 3:vpx zero carb and PB sandwich

meal 4:5 whites and broccolli

meal 5:3 oz tilapia,rice cakes ,1 serving pb

meal 6:3 oz tilapia and broccolli

Yesterday i got my new routine and schedule,so today i went to the gym with a whole new perspective.Got my rest all night,because i knew this week is the start of a new regimen.I can only say that i am very proud of my workout.All sets and reps have been done correctly and my cardio finish with the last bit of strenght i had on me…by the end of the workout i was crazy starving…thing that not always happens….i guess i did a really good job and i earned my meals for the day.The rest of the day i planned on chill here at my appartment,and get a good rest because tomorrow is day 2 and is leg killing time.I haven’t feel this good since like forever……today was another wonderful training day,but not the last…i still got many to come……..This is just getting started……….

meal 1: muscle milk and oats

meal 2: lean dessert and oats

meal 3: 2 whole eggs,2 oz chicken and zuchinnis

meal 4: 3 oz tilapia and broccolli

meal 5: 4 whites,small salad,1 serving PB

meal 6: 3 oz tilapia and broccolli

meal 1: muscle milk and oats

meal 2: lean dessert and oats

meal 3: 1 whole egg,1 serving of thinfat,3 oz chicken and zuchinnis

meal 4: 3 oz tilapia and broccolli

meal 5: 3 oz chicken,small salad,1 serving PB

meal 6: 3 oz tilapia and broccolli

meal 1: muscle milk and oats

meal 2: same

meal 3: 5 whites,PB sandwich

meal 4: 4 oz tilapia and broccolli

meal 5: 2 whole eggs,2 oz chicken,small salad

meal 6: 3 oz tilapia and broccolli

meal 1: muscle milk and oats

meal 2: lean dessert and oats

meal 3: 5 whites and pb sandwich

meal 4: 3 oz tilapia and broccolli

meal 5: VPX graham cracker and PB sandwich

meal 6: 3 oz chicken.