never_quit’s BodyBlog

This may seem like a very small thing, but for me it was HUGE! I went to the gym today! I haven’t gone in years. I was terrified: terrified that everybody would stop and stare at me when I walked in because I’m so overweight. I was just plain old terrified. But, I went! I went I went I went!!! I spent the entire time trying not to look at myself in the mirror. This may not make any sense at all but I cried in the car after I left because I was working so hard at not thinking about how huge and ugly I felt. But I went-and I feel like I crossed a huge hurdle. I was hoping that there would be at least one person at the gym as big as me or bigger and when I walked in there was a lady on the recumbent bike who was bigger than me even and I wanted to run up to her and hug her and tell her that I loved her…but she would have probably not understood LMAO!!! It’s good that I curb some of my instincts out in public LOL!!!

My hubby came with me and he basically played trainer to me and set the weights and pointed at machines and said "do 12" or "do one more" and "yes you can". I love him!

I went!!!

:) 

Balance Danielsan! Balance! (A brownie point for whoever knows what movie that is from!) Why is it SO hard to balance the things that I want to do-that I NEED to do-in life?! It seems like I focus on one-like my music-and the rest suffer. I focus on my homework, and I don’t find time to practice. I focus on karate and working out, and my homework goes down the tube. ACK! I keep talking about getting organized and scheduling things, and haven’t actually done it yet…so….I’m going back to square one and I’m simply going to write down what I eat-everything-regardless if it’s good or bad or whatever-just to get in the habit again. That is my goal for this week-simply to write it all down.

Yikes! It’s been two weeks since I last updated my blog. I even got a message from the bb.com admin saying so! Wow! I’ve been hanging on by my fingernails it feels like these last two weeks-school is kicking my butt big time. The good news is I auditioned for the music school at the university and I’m in like Flynn! Woo Hoo! The bad news is I haven’t been working out regularly…but wait…the other good news is that I have been continuing to eat well and haven’t fallen back into my old pattern of not eating all day then consuming half the fridge at midnight! I’m going to take the big plunge and go to the gym with hubby tomorrow. He’ll probably pass out from shock when I do LOL!!

I figured out how to load pictures-fun! Here is a picture of a pair of Sai, which I used in the demo last night. You may have seen them in the movie Daredevil; however, she was holding them wrong! They’re no good if they just dangle-gotta keep ‘em tight against the forearm to serve for blocking and when pointing out the index finger is kept tight along the center. Anyway….here is a picture of the Sai and of the Daredevil chick holding them incorrectly

Howdy again! I’m still amped from last night’s workout-woo hoo! And I go back tonight at 7 - yay! So for those of you who have been reading my blogs (1? 2?) I talked about Maynard and how he changed my life and it all started when he landed on the hood of my car. I found the picture! so…assuming I can figure out how to stick a picture in my blog…voila Mr. Maynard!