So its been a tough couple of weeks. Lots of things just not going the right way. Obstacles showing up that were not expected and other expected obstacles being harder than they originally appeared. So the win is that even though I didn't get to do everything I wanted to do and I started over again with my commitment for a cleaner diet. I didn't give up and I started over. I know that anything worth doing is going to require a fight, resiliency and dedication to the end goal. Sometimes in order to keep your eye on the prize, the possibility of losing the prize is the only thing that keeps you going. So even if you fall, don't stop looking up. Its where you are going that is important. It matters not that you fell off track, it matters more if you don't get back on!
Today I am just t -i -r- e -d. I thought I had the going to bed thing down and I am still getting in bed SUPER late AND waking up SUPER early. I am glad that I am starting to wake up at 5 w/no alarm but sad that I am so tired. I know that I am not giving my workouts my best this week. Feeling a bit un-inspired and ready to throw in the towel. So I must re-group and not lose sight of the goal. I have officially broken up with Starbucks (should have done that weeks ago), their sugar stays on my thighs no matter what I do! Kickboxing tomorrow, need to change up the cardio and sleep in. Praying that if the scale doesn't move, that the measuring tape does! Keep Training For Life everybody!
So excited this week, I see progress and am closer to my goal for the end of this week. Training this morning was a beast but I got it done. The nutrition is getting easier and I am feeling much stronger now. Its been difficult though getting up in the morning because I am so tired at night. A lot of that is due to not getting to bed early enough. So that's my goal this week, getting to bed on time! I am eating salmon all the time; but I like it so I am not tired of it yet. New pics this weekend, yay!!!
Well, I can say that I am excited to see some progress but realize I have a long way to go. The hardest part is getting back into a routine and the discipline to stick to it. Having now three kids in the house (my step son came to live with us last year), I have been having trouble keeping up with everything. The schedule of morning and evening cardio's, lifting, work, kids, husband, sorority, and my part time, gig is a completely crazy one. So this past week was really tough and my body let me know it. I was sore a lot, and really, really tired. One day I just couldn't wake up, I literally slept till late in the afternoon; which is abnormal for me. Of course it wasn't a restful sleep with the kids and phone ringing in between; but every time I could catch a piece of shut eye, I took it! I am excited about what lies in front of me (pics soon to come) and the progress that I am making. The diet has been, of course, the key. I had a few days where I struggled to stay on it but that's normal; so I didn't get down on myself too much. I just made sure that I corrected my mistakes and kept cooked food available to me so I could make the right choices. Today is another day to keep pressin forward and I will. Cardio day...here I come!
So I am back to the weight I was almost two years ago. And it took me a whole month to stop being depressed about it. I was floundering for these past 12 months trying to get a handle on it but to no avail. I finally understand how and why people who make dramatic transformations end up being back in the starting blocks. The keyword, BALANCE. It seems so simple and yet for many of us it can be so elusive. When I competed everything was in a bubble. My husband took care of many things and outside of dragging my then 1year old to the gym, I had way more flexibility. But after competition things quickly changed. My stepson (who was 15 at the time) moved in and we had highschool to deal with. For those of you with teenagers you get it. Talk about a job. Not to mention, add this to taking care of my 8 year old, the 2 year old, my spouse, and my part time job. I was no longer competing and there really wasn't a goal in mind. And I had every excuse in the book! I went back to my eating habits due to the severe restriction, unrealistic expectations and entitlement. Because I couldn't maintain my show weight; I eventually just gave up. This is hard to say, since my profession is to motivate others not to give up. But I am a human being, so keep your judgment to yourself..lol..no please, keep it to yourself.
I was struggling; I couldn't keep up with the severe restriction and struggled to find a happy medium, aka balance. I was comparing myself to people who didn't have the same obligations as I do. My family requires a lot of attention and many of the women I admire have no kids or spouse, or a spouse that is off doing their own things. Or they have one child and time to themselves; things that I don't have or have to create. So instead of complaining or comparing myself to others, I have decided to work on me without judging myself based on someone else's journey.
I am happy to say that I am back to training for my next competition starting this week. This time I know what to expect and am hopeful that I will find balance afterwards. Lifestyle change is a journey and a never ending process. I am glad to still be working towards a healthier me.
So I have decided that I can't live my life in competition mode and this year my husband and I have plans that trump competing. But that doesn't mean that I can't remain in great shape even though I am not training for competition. I am going to conduct a little experiment on myself and see what happens. We all know that eating clean is a must for weight control but it is also important for our health in general. Eating real food instead of things with a million ingredients I can't pronounch makes a huge difference. I'm in the process of eradicating processed foods from my family's diet. Which means that I really have to plan my meals; because in a pinch it's easy to go back to opening a bag, adding water and wah-lah. In addition to my overall cooking habits, I will be changing the types of workouts I do. I will limit my weightlifting to 3x week and do 2 to 3 different types of cardio classes/at home workouts. I feel that training for competition and training for real life shouldn't be the same. Otherwise whats the point of an off season? For me not changing my workouts has lead to injury, obesession, and, of course fatigue. Now that's me talking..I know for many of us it also brings a sense of accomplishment; but I have to change my perspective...I have three kids that need my attention and so far my schedule has soley been about me. And for competition it has to be, there is no other way to do it. But this year my focus is on my family; oh and getting back into my bikini for our upcoming vacations..lol. So I will add pilates, yoga, kickboxing, and swimming on cardio days. My goal is to get back to 140 (even though I still look good at 150) and enjoy how my size 8 clothes feel again. I can still get in them but it's a little more work than it use to be..lol. I officially start this coming Monday..I'll keep ya posted!
So I am 12 lbs away from what I consider a good place to walk around weight. I definitely lost almost all the work that I did on these legs of mine. But reality came and smacked me in the face. My last post sounded like I had a grip; but I really didn't. I was still yo-yoing in emotions, and that was definitely seen through my eating. I was still weighing myself every day and obsessed in the mirror. It took a wisdom tooth surgery to make me get a grip on reality. I had never weighed 130lbs in my entire life! In highschool I was 145; and have always carried a lot of muscle. So to think that without staying on a competition diet (which is not a realistic diet to keep for the rest of "my" life) and spending 3hrs in the gym isn't realistic. And I had to get out of the gym for a while, I was soooo worried about what others may say if they see me gain some weight back. I was totally obsessed with the wrong things. Lastly, I was on the verge of throwing my finger down my throat. COMPLETE and UTTER NONSENSE, cuz I know better. So I can truly say that wisdom tooth surgery saved me from myself. So now I am back to regular life and when I fail, it's okay. I plan on competing again this summer, I was originally looking at the spring but the summer is more realistic. So the goal now is to eat REAL food, no fake food. Clean eating is my goal..not just for competition but for life. It may sound funny but one of my goals for 2011 is to totally eradicate Doritos from my diet. No Doritos for 12 months! Listen that is a struggle, I LOVE THEM. They truely are one of my weaknesses. Last night was my first challenge and I passed. My son had a bag of Doritos and we were snowed in. I just wanted to eat one but I drank water instead. I kept telling myself no and I made it. I will almost be three weeks into my challenge..and not one Dorito. LOL, thats a feat. See ya soon: