mytam302’s BodyBlog

These past few days seeing after the business of my father in Ohio have been challenging to say the least.  The first day there I was able to get about 45 mins of cardio.  I did watch what I ate and did not binge.  While there, I had a confrontation with the drug addict grand-daughter, who also lives at the church member’s house where my dad was supposed to stay until the family was scheduled to get him next week.  She was high when she approached me and I had to catch myself because I was about to introduce her to Tamika! (That’s my middle name and my alter ego than can get loud, rude and ghetto)! All those squats, the endurance exercises, the preacher curls and triceps extensions were about to be tested for endurance and strength! My fist was about to slip right across her mouth when she jumped in my face.  Woot!  Glad the 60 yr old uncle stepped in and got her and he told me to go to the car.  While there, I calmed down and prayed.  I got a peace in my spirit after talking to the family that it was more risky leaving dad there than it was to just pack his things in his car and drive him back to Atlanta…. that’s what I did.  We got to Atlanta yesterday and I’m glad this part is over so that he can heal with family and spend the  holidays with us.  We can now reset our normal lives.  For me it includes my dad’s dr appts, Medicaid insurance appeals, protein shakes and the gym.  

The past few days have been difficult.  They are releasing my father from the care center this weekend.  The nurse said that he was recovering from hip surgery very well however he still needs assistance and supervision.  His appeal to stay another week at the recovery center was denied by the insurance. That means I’ll have to fly up to Dayton this weekend (I’m the only sibling with no small children) and make sure he transitions well to one of his church member’s home until we are able to bring him to GA on Nov 30th.  Workouts? I’ve been showing up.  My mind has been distracted. I haven’t been paying attention to the weights; I just make sure they are not too heavy and I go thru the motion. I did find out that I love doing squats on the Smith machine (100 lbs).  It jumps my heart rate up to cardio levels). When I’m really not focused I’ll just go do some squats.  In between exercises I’ll do squats.  If I’m bored, I’ll do squats (this was kinda new for me this week).   Eating? No binges (praise the Lord) 75% clean but no sweets however (had a piece of fried chicken).  I haven’t been logging my food but making sure I make healthy substitutes. I know this is not the way to accomplish my goals but I’m not going to let myself slip back into old habits and I don’t have the energy to press forward.  This week I was just holding. While in Ohio, I’ll watch what I eat .  I’ll make sure I workout at the hotel’s gym and I’ve already packed my protein shakes, fruit, and some tuna.  

I am big on community service and for about 3 years I’ve been going to the Trinity House on Bell St in Atlanta.  I love volunteering there especially during the  TEAM (Together Everyone Achieves More) dinners.  The men there are recovering from drug and alcohol abuse and transitioning back into society.  At the TEAM dinners, we eat (dinner sponsored by the guest) and share life.  They share their struggles and how the overcame and I am always encouraged and blessed when I visit.  Most times I try to say something very encouraging but this time, I needed them to speak into me.  Yesterday evening during my visit, I shared my family crisis with them and how it threw me into an emotional eating frenzy and how I struggled to stay on my program.   One of the recovering addicts, who used drugs since age 16, now 34, told me the most encouraging thing.  He has been clean for 100 days and he said, ”Tammy, with any addiction anybody can stop but to stay stop is the challenge.  When we break our program or good habits, it makes us become someone we don’t want to be and we go places and do things our better self would not do”.  He also told me when crisis come, buckle down, recommit to your goals and good habits, trust in your God, and know the struggles you overcame in your past, has prepared you for this crisis.  At that moment, I recommitted, my internal struggle was broken as this brother 100 days clean set me free with his words of wisdom.    

I know it is almost laughable why black women make excuses for not going to the gym.  One of the top 5 reasons is their hair.  Well I got my hair silked-out this weekend.  (This term is reserved for natural hair with no chemicals; when heat is applied to the natural hair it maximizes the length of the hair).  It is fun having versatile hair but it is also challenging.  I have enclosed a couple of pics. 

  These pics are the front and back of my hair today; keep in mind I have not exercised and the length is past my shoulder blades.  When I work out, I generate a lot of heat and moisture in my head causing my hair to swell and draw up (as to why some women get relaxers, or weaves to restrain this process).  My challenge this week is to be faithful with my morning exercise and eating clean AS WELL AS try and look cute with silked hair… HA!!!  Right!!!! LOL!!!  Who am I fooling…

So here is the plan Sparky, this pic   is a wig I chopped up to look like my hair (cause I don’t have long straight black silky hair).  Just in case at the end of the week, I look like a chicken head, this wig should cover me until I get my hair done over.  Looking forward to another successful week!

I know I am an emotional eater.  I planned all of my foods for the week, I did not skip workouts, and I still emotionally ate.  My weight loss was okay not that great.  My trigger came from a situation I could not control but I tried to control it via eating.  While in Ohio this week, my father fell when a friend’s dog jumped on him and knocked him down.  He was admitted in the hospital and we few my mom up to be with him.  He had to have emergency hip replacement surgery.  Surgery went well.  He will be in rehab 4 weeks.  In the end, I could not control what happened to him but I did revert back to some old habits.  I estabilished false eating patterns with my prayers and stress.  I ate my food and candy bars, cakes, chips, crackers, vodka sodas, etc….   for about 3 days straight.  Then I caught myself.  To regulate my sugar cravings, I started putting a little cinnamon on everything.  To try and catch up my program, did a couple of 2 a days and wrote my feeling in a a journal to gain control of myself.  I don’t want another week like this, it was tooooo emotional!!!  Back on the horn.  Headed to a SNBF show, will come home and start planning my week again! Woot!