mytam302’s BodyBlog

Today my senses were heightened with my 6 am cardio session.  I used the treadmill and the elliptical for a total of about 45 mins. I pushed myself just enough to feel that sexy burn travel up my calves, then to my quads and thighs; when I felt it in my gluts, I kept the intensity there until  I was ready to let it go!   When I finished my cardio, I did walking lunges (about 20) all the way to the stretch machine.  It felt great; it felt sexy… Today I have on sandals with 4 inch heels, my calves are flexed and my bubble is sitting high; I don’t walk today, I glide intentionally…; (reflection) that was a sexy workout…. 

The gym closes at 10pm. Although I have a long day, I think I’ll go back and get some more (smile).   

I’ve received concerns about loosing my bubble during my  ‘get my life back’ journey.  Well to those that are concerned, it will be very difficult to loose the bubble because it’s in my genes.  My granddaughter is very slim and she filled her pampers out when she turned 8 mths, not her fault, just an ancestry trait LOL!.  Some people were born with long beautiful hair, tall slender frames, gorgeous lips, deep sea blue eyes, olive skin that tans perfectly; but me?  I was born with straight teeth, hips and a bubble.   See J-Lo has a cute little bubble, Beyance has very curvy hips.  I unfortunately/fortunately have both.  Basically my bubble has hips and I can’t do anything about them but make them the best that I can.  I can only do cardio 6x a week, stretch them out, break them down and rebuild the glut muscles by doing squats without weights, walking lunges, hip flexors, kickbacks, etc., and see what happens.  Hopefully my ancestry genes will be good to me as I travel this journey to lose another 30 lbs or so.   Sista Big-bone is not here to stay however the bubble is!!!

‘I see light at the end of the tunnel but I looked again and it was an on coming train!’  A co-worker of mine used to say.

I have to admit, I don’t know moderation; I indulge or go cold turkey when it comes to some pleasures; in this case, food.  For the past 3 weeks I’ve been eating clean but something happened this weekend; I had a relapse at my sister’s house.  She didn’t think anything of it because I appeared and did the normal sister/social things we do, watch movies, play with her son, and eat!  LOL.  My visit with her looked normal but my clean eating was challenged in her environment.  All of our favorite comfort foods were conveniently left out on the counters next to the fresh fruit; in the fridge, next to the spinach salad and bottled water was the non-diet-soda and juice packs.  Six hours rolled by quickly of nibbling on spinach salad, lean turkey, donuts, Lays and Doritos watching movies and playing with her son. 

This encounter set me by 2 weeks….I didn’t use moderation because I’m not as normal people, I indulge.  I was in a familiar environment where food was the answer to playing, naps, bonding, girl talk and laughter.  Most people can practice moderation, because they don’t tie their emotional highs or lows to food.  However a binge eater, nibbler, secret eater, etc, may have addictions like a junkie.  Would you say to an alcoholic, ‘A daily glass of red wine is good for your heart!  Just drink in moderation.’ Or to a recovering drug addict ‘Stay away from cocaine but marijuana in moderation is okay’.  By blessing the ‘m’ word to a food addict or putting him/her is an environment where he/she can experience various emotions in one setting with food is sabotage.

  My body is on an automatic time clock.  I wake up between 5:30 am and 6:00 am regardless of the time I go to sleep.  Last night I went to bed at 10pm so that I could get 7-8 hrs of sleep. Refreshed but still half awake, I got out of bed to go to the bathroom and as I walked across the bedroom with sleep still in my eyes, I glanced in the mirror.  For a brief moment, I saw her.  She was healthy, muscular, 30 lbs lighter.  Her belly did not have rolls, her thighs did not rub together, her stomach didn’t rest in her lap when she sat down and her body shaper didn’t roll up her belly because she didn’t have to wear one.  She no longer got frustrated when looking at a Victoria Secrets catalogue because now she can order something cute and sexy instead of squeezing into VS XXL only to have fat ooze out the sides of the cute and sexy clothes.  Her self-esteem was high and she no longer made excuses for being ‘big boned’ or ‘full figured’.  She was comfortable in her own skin not wanting to be like anyone but herself.  Her body was hot and her attitude was sexy and she knew it.   That’s her; I want her; the more beautiful woman inside of me.

As of today, I have reached my goal of 3 lbs for the week.  I’m still eating 5-6 meals a day based on a version of Michael Thurmond 6 week body make over.  My body type is meso-endo where I can retain muscles, however my metabolism is not fast enough to keep the fat under control.  I don’t follow the program exactly because I work out a lot and the food doesn’t really sustain my levels of workout. 
This week was a good workout week for me.  I worked out ever day Sun-Friday.  Some days I didn’t want to get up but I made a promise to myself and went anyway.  Thurs and Friday I got to work a little late because I didn’t want to leave the gym.  Also on Friday I had a very stressful day at work.  My food addiction demon beckoned me to indulge in something; wine, chocolate, chips, bun-buns, etc.  IMy heart started racing and my breaths got short and I started to hyperventilate  but caught myself by taking a few deep breaths and tried to center (learned from yoga).  Once I centered, I acknowledged the stress I was feeling for the moment, as well as my food addiction demon and how fat he was making me.  I however chose a different route to deal with my difficult moment. 
I asked myself, what would my friends on bb.com do?  Answer: The serious ones probably would go to the gym, drink an energy drink and work really hard.  The others would grab something healthy and workout and clear they minds.  (I really don’t know but in my mind that is what I think).  I chose to do what came to me. 
I went home, looked in the fridge only to realize I had several healthy choices of food ready for me to pick and choose.  I was glad but a little disappointed that last week I threw out the perfectly good foods that were making me grandmamma fat like the chips, chocolate, bread, ice cream.   I opted for 4 oz of chicken breast, and 1 medium cucumber.  Then I packed a gym bag and took the scenic route to the gym.  Once there I did 20 mins on the treadmill.  Then I tried 3 reps of 3 new leg exercises (I don’t know what it was but I tried it as a newbie).  Afterwards I did another 20 mins on the elliptical machine.  I was feeling it then since I had already worked out that morning.  When I finished, I changed clothes and sat in the steam room as well as enjoy the jets in the whirlpool massage the small of my back.  Before I knew it, 2 hrs passed and now my life was in perspective again to the point that I almost forgot what I was stressed about.  I’m so glad that I did not deny myself to feel the stress as well I was glad to be honest with myself about my food addition demons so that I could find a better solution- the gym saved my life.      

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I will own everything I eat, everything I drink, everything I do, and everything I say.  Thank you Annette for sharing this site with me. I’m putting myself out there and I want to see the results as so many others have experienced. 

My eating program includes 6 small meals a day watching my complex carbs and proteins.  I work out 6 days a week.  During workout, I keep my heart rate between 120-146 to burn fat.  I use circuit training and focus on my heart rate with the reps and weights.  I am focused on buring fat and toning more so than bulking up right now.  So far I’ve dropped 6 pounds in 10 days.  A realistic goal is 2-3 lbs a week.