muskles26’s BodyBlog

Ok!! I’m back in the game!  I feel I have finally overcome this slump..yay for me

Occasional cheat? yes, but not as bad as it has been.  I trained all but legs so far and I feel amazing.  I love the gym, lol.

Since I started at this new gym (Quads) I have had nothing but help from the people who train there as well as the trainers.  Its an amazing place.  Noone bothers you except to spot you (which you never have to ask, there’s no more than 5 people in the room typically so we are all watching each other)  Yesterday, a guy was walking around saying, "man, we are all family here" It was nice.  He complimented me about being one of the very few woman that go to the gym.  I rarely ever see another woman in the gym.  Oh well, makes me look kick ass, lol!

One of the trainers there recognized me from my show and made me train with him, no charge, right there.  He kicked my ass!!  Biceps and shoulders are so swoll right now…YES.  Anyway, I told him I have been binge eating since my show and that I’ve been to the gym about 10x since then as well.  He told me, "if this is what you look like binging everyday, keep doing it" Haha…don’t mind if I do.

Today is legs, kinda scared, its hard for me to push myself with legs. 

Although I missed the opportunity to get in shape enough by the CL calender entry deadline, I’m determined to get in shape regardless. 

Does anyone else find it gross and inapropriate to see woman on bodyspace post slutty-ass booty shots of themselves in a thong or worse, shots of them bent over shown everything they got (except muscle! which I thought this site was for), and more and more whoreish pictures, and then you see they posted a picture of their young kids.  I don’t get that.  Is it to show that besides trying to look like a whore, deep down your a loving mother? WTF, its gross and disturbing.  This is what my a*@hole looked like in a thong last year, then I lost 5 pound and today this is what my a*@hole looks like in a new pink thong.  Yeah, I’m blunt with words, who cares.

I don’t remember the last time I worked out my back or abs. hmm maybe last month!

Whenever I get a chance to go to the gym, which is rare I just work on chest and arms cause thats my favorite.  Haven’t done squats in who knows how long.  Ihave planty of motivation, this CL calendar contest for one.  looking at my contest bod, other pictures of woman on this site as well, but the actual act of getting to the gym is rediculous.  In part its because I have the craziest work schedule the last couple months.  During contest prep I declined any job that I felt would get in the way of my training or eating schedule.  Well now that I’m not doing a show those jobs have come around again and I’m taking them, which leads to exhaustion, extremely long hours (16 hours this past thursday, 13 on Wednesday which means I got 4 hours of sleep in between)  I had no choice but to eat cafeteria food this week as well, and eat as if it was my last meal, 16 hours and we stopped once for a break (1/2 hour) this is typical of my work and thats why i declined jobs on comp mode.  At one point we were not allowed any food or drink from 9am-1pm…ugh.  So..what happens when I get home, eat everything and sleep and sleep some more.  I think I slept 15 hours on Friday (my only day off).

Anyway, its pretty impossible for me at this point to eat the way I want and should as well as workout 4-5 days a week.  I’m trying to figure how I can do get back into it, but being so exhausted all the time does not help.  Any suggestions?!?!?

I like how I have filled out, I can deal with looking a little full as long as I have roundness in my arms, which I do and definition still in my legs which i luckily do, but you can definitely see it in my waist, the fat that hangs over your pants, YUCK!  have to work on that!!!

 How do you get motivation after being out of the loop for so long? 

What I ate so far today:

quinoa pancakes with strawberries and sugar free syrup (and a load of powered sugar, my FAVORITE, bad bad bad)

a couple organic brownies, don’t feel bad about those

1/2 cup of icecream, which SF wip cream

couple or oreo cookies

1 cup egg whites, 1 whole egg, handful of spinach, 2 tbsp quac, sprinkled with low fat cheese.  My other cat was on my lap   They like to watch me eat

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Well, things are going slow, gym-wise.  I have been so busy lately that I have no time to go to the gym, and now that my membership is expired I have to look for other means of working out…..Workout at home, only have 10,12 and 15 pound DB’s and a stability ball :(  Can’t do much with that.  My diet still sucks big time, so working out is kinda pointless at this point anyway.  I look SOFT as a pillow!  Except my legs, thoughs are still pretty toned and muscular despite not working them out for about 1 month.  My upper body though….Ugh, embarrasing. Can’t even talk about it.

 So why so busy?

Trying to find an awesome Dietetic School, about to study for my CPT cert, moving across country soon on my own (scary), trying to find a new job while trying to maintain my sanity at my current job, starting my own jewelry business, starting my own fashion business (posing suits?).  Financial situation doesn’t help either, can’t really afford this lifestyle at this point, all the food adds up Can’t afford all these classes I want to take to advance in my career or future careers.  So…I’m busy! busy as all hell! I workout occasionaly but just not enough to get muscular, just toned…which is fine I guess.

I just recently found that I am gluten/wheat intolerant.  GRRRR. So trying to read up on that now as well, trying to figure out what I can and can’t eat, how it may or may not hurt my training.  It ****ing sucks!  I LOVE my whole wheat english muffins, and shredded whole wheat spoonfulls.  It makes me cry.  Well, at least I found the culprit.

Not sure where another competition can play into this time either.  If I move in October/November, start school in January a and have afull time job, not sure how I can train and have enough $ for a show :’( It will happen though, not rushing into a show anyway, too expensive to just do one for the fun of it.

Completely workout unrelated….kinda

Just downloaded some Nine Inch nails (only have the albums on cassette, hahahha)  Never got around to buying them on cd when cd’s became popular, like 15 years ago!!! Loser

Anyway, finally remembered to download some NIN and OMG lovn’ it!  "Reptile" = love

Did my chest workout to "March of the pigs", if my NO didn’t get me pumped, that song sure does the trick.

Origin and Behemoth are 2 other amazing bands to listen to during workouts, in case your interested

Just yesterday I attended Illinois NPC Jr. Nationals….awesome!!!  I was 3 hours late due to work, but I after being there for hours after that, I still left before the show was over, and it was just the woman last night "Fabulous Female Friday."  We left after class F was done, there where so many girls competing it was insane.  But seriously, to all ladies competing in the near future, there has been talk of figure changing its rules for what these woman should look like and how to pose, and….ITS TRUE!  This is all I heard last night from the head judge, "Seriously ladies! I am not joking, relax your arms, stop flexing"  "#28, stop flexing your arms!"  And she was being forcefull about it. 

I think each girl was allowed about 3 inches from the next girl, so V-tapers….gone, I think only about 2-3 girls actually tried to show off their lats but it was mainly arms to the side, almost touching their legs.  Arms were unflexed, backs were small.  I DO NOT LIKE THIS NEW DIRECTION!!! and this was the NPC.

On another note….what do I love about shows?  FREE stuff! Especially if you go at the end of the night, all the vendures just want to get rid of it all.  

 I got my autographed Jennifer Gates picture!  and out of all the supplements…I got free shaker bottle, my favorite thing! I’m weird   

Finals are tonight! so…more free stuff

I know some people (men) get really excited and love to see muscular woman in bikini’s or less than that lifting weights in a video, but man is it too hilarious and uncomfortable to watch.  I just clicked on a youtube vid with a decent sized fit woman, in a teeny tiny pink bikini in front of a horrible grey cloudy sweep doing bicep curls.  Her long straight hair blowing from the wind machine, tacky lighting and music.  But there she goes, acting as sexy as possible while doing a bicep curl, one arm then the next arm, looking at her own arms as if she herself is turned on .  Oh…its too hilarious, and stupid, to me.

For me, as if it mattered, I’d rather see a hot ass chick in a wife beater, sweating, hair all messy, no makeup, benching till her veins were popping out of her neck. maybe some primus in the background.  Just some hardcore real life stuff you know.

Well typical blog I think here.  I am ba-loooo-ted!  I weighed myself finally and I gained 10pounds in 4 days.  Crazy!  I worked out for the first time today and I was huge.  I looked in the mirror, before I started, and saw how bloated I was, ankles and calfes, fat.  I did chest and tris, not too hard, about 2-3 moves for each and i was pumped up hard core after.  I looked in the mirror in the locker rooms and thought…Man, if I looked like this on the day of my show, I would have won.  Though at the same time, I am so filled with water and my protan is drying my skin out to death that being pumped was actually very uncomfortable, I could hardly stretch it felt like my skin was ripping off.  I talked to a trainer there and he said it was normal of protan to do that….I look like I have stretch marks all over my body I’m so dry and swoll. 

Being back at the gym….felt like home, got a chance to try to regain what I lost after eating pizza 3 days in a row. bad bad bad girl.

Well, going to Colorado tomorrow for a week.  have no idea how clean i am going to be able to eat.  We are camping over the weekend, than staying at my sis’ house the remainder. 

Oh where do i start?  I figure I have to write this out now or I never will, taking a vacation in Colorado for a week on Thursday so I’m now busy packing for that and trying to get everything done before I leave, like, uh clean the house!

Ok. somewhat short and sweet Well got up at 5am, well more like 2am than 3:30 than 5am, lol.  The night before was insane had so much to do.  I ended the night washing my hair, on my own, suprisingly my tan did not come off my hands, sweet!  Did my hair as if for show day than put in HUGE curlers with a hair cap on, than….realized I had run out of toilet paper!  Just what I needed.  I luckily live right down the street from a Walgreens, but still, I had to go into the store looking like a freak with those rollers in my hair and get some tp, ugh! Anyway, got em, along with Mrs.Fields chocolate chip cookies and went home and went to bed, hehe.  I still had stuff to do, put on nails, paint toe nails, do some crunches but it was 11pm and my goal was to go to bed by 10pm, so sleep won over. 
I’m very proud of myself I have to admit,  the last 2 days before the show my to do list was insanely long, and I got every single one done for that day, very proud of that

So Saturday morning comes around and I’m up at 5am, ready to go and ready to get it over with, pancakes were waiting for me lol.  My frined Kim came over, helped me put on my last coat of tan, my friend Jeff came (awesome photographer) and started taking pictures of the whole thing.  I ate, practiced my poses and we were off.  I got to the show 5 minutes late, but not a big deal, we all stood there waiting for things to get going for about 45 minutes, competitors were getting pissed, I’m a calm easygoing person, so the idea of relaxing was nice.  finally they started to call off the classes so we could get our # and check it. My class of 8 was called up and I stupidly stood in front and was #1.  You’ll find out later why that was a BAD idea.

Went out in the hall a little later and saw my mom, she almost cried, she said she didn’t even recognize me, except for my hair and tatts, funny right?!  She was proud, I was just happy she came, no other family members showed, so her being there was  amazing!  I unfortunately did not get 1 single picture with her and I and am still trying to get over that….it really sucks :’(  Remember to take pictures of evryone one that came especially family.

Now the show was held in a beautiful venue, but it was a little disorganized and very annoying.  The classes were so small that when the prejudging started the line up went in a flash.  Figure was up I think towards the end of the show but that only took maybe 1/2 hour after it started.  So getting ready, pumping and oiling up was a mad house, OMG.  We had no time, and no one was announcing when we were going on, all they would say was figure your up after this class.  Well, how long does that mean?!?!?  5 minutes? 20 minutes?  Oh it pissed everyone off.  For prejudging they would say your up after this class and we had maybe 5 minutes to pump up, get glued up, and oiled and adjust.  I definitely DID NOT pump up long enough or hard enough at all.  I looked the same as I did when i woke up and we all usually look a little flat  in the morning.  Pissed pissed pissed!  ok, get over it Stephanie.  So my class lined up after all of us almost breaking our necks from walking in our heals on oil covered floors.  We walked up to the stage, and this was it the moment I had been waiting for for 12 weeks of hard core training, strict dieting, financial struggles, it was all about to be shown off on stage.  I was first in line, so I walked across the stage while the other girls followed.  We did our 1/4 turns in the blink of an eye.  Praticing posing for 1 minute each pose was pointless.  The moment you had a chance to really hit your front pose they already told you to "1/4 turn." They only did 1 switch in th line up.  I was moved in 1 place, everyone cheered so loud,  it felt awesome, I thought OMG they like me!lol.  Did 1 more set of 1/4 turns.  and this is where I think I ****ed it up.  I saw pictures later and I had pushed out my scapula on my back pose!  It looked horrible!  I can’t believe I did that, I was told its just nerves but I haven’t done that since I first  started to try to do a back pose.  I hope that didn’t ruin everything.  And as soon as we were on  stage we were off the stage in less than 5 minutes.  All that for a couple minutes on stage? 

The tall class went up than, about 15 beautiful girls!  They had call outs, small sections of girls posing at one time than the other, they where on stage for about 15-20 minutes!  Not fair.  They came off the stage sweating and painting.  They had their chance to shine,  big classes are ideal.  Good for them though, they all looked amazing.

 Changed into out  pieces now and by this time everyone was starting to come up to me saying i heard you made your suits, can you make me mine next time please. That felt awesome, even girls not in the show were asking me to make them for em….hmmm, bussiness opp? maybe maybe!!  I had girls tell me I had to do their makeup for their next show as well I did actually do a good job, I’m proud.  That is pretty much what i got all day, you were the prettiest girl up there with the best ass.  I guess that is an awesome compliment.  Though when you hear girls saying " oh you had the best shoulders, you 2 had the best legs, you’ll win because your physique is perfect" and what I got was "you were the prettiest"  its nice but I want an awesome physique comment   I’m making this too hard for myself.

Back to the 1 piece, we went up on stage and was off in about 2 minutes!!!  I walked in the hall saw my mom and apologized for not being up there long enough for  her.  She only could stay for the night show and all she got to see was a total of 5 minutes of me

Ok the show was over, I went home, relaxed, washed my hair again! (smartest idea I had) my hair was so oilly if i didn’t wash it it would have been strings at the night show, than rolled it back up and was perfect.  Put on a another coat of tan, I was told I wasn’t dark enough.  Lightened my bag, I brought way too much stuff.  I didn’t have to reaply my makeup, good quality makeup for all day wear is a life savor!!! And was off to the night show!

Got back to the venue, and man was it a different change of pace.  This time around, there was time on our hands.  This time, we had to wait for bodybuilding routines and fitness routines, so the wait was long this time.  Though of course, no one still told us how long we had before we were on stage.  We heard this a million times, "Figure girls, your on after masters" well, when is masters? now?  So all the girls franticly got pumped up and oiled, learneing form this moring, and than we waited and waited, heard "girls up after the novice men"  Novice men went up, than another class, than we waited and waited.  Me and the 2 girls ,who won their classes by the way, went up to take pictures with the pro photographer and talked to friends, and waited some more.  We all lost our pump, our oil was soaking into our skin by this piont.  3 hours after they told us to get ready they finally told us "ok girls 5 minutes"  hmm….yet again not enough time to really pump up and oil up again.  We got lined up and this is where lining up to be #1 sucked balls.  I asked the guy, so what am I doing when i get up there.  He said " go to the front"  uh, and do what?  he had no idea.  I asked the girls and they all said something different.  I asked another guy and he said ask the guy at the stage.  I got to the stage and the guy said go to the center of the stage.   I said "and do what!?!?!" Pose? Just stand there? Are the girls following me? What am I doing?  I’m first I need to know!!!  He pushed me up the stairs and I met up with another guy and he said the same thing.  So I walked the center and did some 1/4 turns and than stood there.  Now what?!!? I looked over at the announcer and he was talking to some guy, just silence.  I looked at the judges and they looked suprised and where trying to tell me to sign off and walk to the end.  I felt so ****ing stupid.  You could see me pointing to the end of the stage and saying "over there" to the judges.  So I walked over and felt so pissed.  The moment I got my chance to shine and show what I got individually and I ****e it up cause I had no clue what I was to do.  I didn’t hit the poses very well and looked stupid I know.  I cried after this (off stage of course).  Moving on… we all were on stage at this point and than off we were again in a flash. 

Awards….they announced top 5 and my name was first….phew.  all I wanted was to place in the top 5 and I got it!  Now to announce placement.  5th place goes to……Stephanie Johnson.  I was dissapointed, but I got top 5. Very pleased.  I got off stage and started crying.  It was over, all this work and its over, happy and sad tears, 5th made me happy, 5th out of 8 girls not so happy.  I knew i didn;’t have the size but my presentation and posing was down.  I saw pictures of all of us together on stage before the night show and I was very confident…..the posing on the other girls was not good, I thought I had it there at least.  You never know.  The bigger the girl the higher placing she got.  The girl who won, Lean, who works out at my gym, we went to the show together had the worst posing.  No one at out gym thought she would place if she didn’t learn how to pose, she never learned how to flare her lats.  But the judges didn’t look at posing this time, they wanted size.

Met up with my friend and cried the rest of the night, happy and sad tears. 

Went out for swedish pancakes, tomato soup, jumbo english muffin, and a chocolate/banana malt (dairy, i am not ready for, turned my stomach apart) I’ll give dairy a few more weeks before I go back to it. 

OK I think I wrote enough, lol

Advice:

Get everyting ready that you need  before the show.

get at least 8 hours of sleep

Make sure you have tp, hehe

Make sure your ready with time to spare before you go on stage

find out what it is you need to do when you on stage before hand, like hours before hand

Find out who it is that knows what you suppost to do when your on stage so you can go straight to them if you have a question

Get pictures of everyone that came to support you on the biggest day of your life

Dont line up to be #1!

relax Relax relax!  too many girls almost tripped, fell over, shoock like crazy on stage.  Calm down, take DEEP breaths, and breath some more. I know its easier said than done, I have years of experience on stage, on front of large crowds so it was like walking on the sidewalk for me, I felt completely comfotable up there.  But just breath.

Is it too soon to say I don’t think competing is for me? well, more specifically I don’t think contest prep dieting is for me.  I know that the first contest prep diet you are on is the hardest, but, so far I have cheated I think every week since I started dieting.  If anything it was chocolate, or too much pb 1-2x a week. Thats horrible!!  I’m 1 week out and had a piece of chocolate yesterday.  A ghirardelli dark chocolate and mint square (it was amazing).    Though I feel my body respondes very quickly to change, so I never ever lost my abs or muscle tone whenever I cheated, even days later, I still looked good.  So, maybe that is just how I need to do it to stay sane, eat chocolate once a week to keep my blood sugar up, hehe.