Mulata’s Motivation

Holy smokesssssss has it really been since March that I’ve left a post?
Sighhhh.. I wish I could update the blog with a wonderful story about how I’ve achieved my goals and lost a million lbs.. but sadly, this post is more to express my deepest feelings and most disturbing and unsatisfactory news that I have since GAINED weight!! That’s right my fellow body builders.. I now officially (like as of this second regardless that I just ate) am weighing in at 216 lbssss of pure FAT!
I’m completely disappointed in myself and I’m sure there are a few of you that would say "it’s ok! Just get right back on track tmow" in hopes of making me feel better, but let me tell you… it’s not gonna work! Not to sound rude or anything but seriously.. telling me that I can feel better about this tmow, and actually make progress is not going to make me feel better about the way I look and feel right this second.  I will feel better once I start seeing progress and I can swear to you that I will!
I need to!  My clothes and I are at WAR and I’m not giving in.. if I need to go out and buy new clothes then I’ve lost..  I refuse to buy more clothes as somehow I will feel like I’ve let them defeat me! They seem to be winning every battle, but rest assured.. I will win this war!!!!

I hope whoever reads this post and feels that they are in the same boat at me will read this and understand that we cannot let out clothes win.. it’s ridiculous… WE WEAR OUR CLOTHES, THEY DO NOT WEAR US! DAMMIT!
Sigh.. I’ll be back in the gym on tuesday
Oh and I’m also going to take my before pictures AGAIN………

ALright…even though the number on the scale has not changed in a few days… I am noticing a change in my size!!!!
my back fat (yes back fat) has gone down substantially… and my belly doesn’t stick out as far as my boobies!!!
Yay for me!
anyways just wanted to share that info!
Thanks for reading!

today in the gym i pushed myself quite nicely to failure… however, am i supposed to feel weak and shaky.. I’m sure I should probably eat more carbs beforehand, but I just want to make sure if this shaky feeling is supposed to happen or not?
any ideas? and im sorry if it sounds like a dumb question.. i probably already know the answer (which is to eat more carbs before my workout)
thanks!

I don’t actually hate my gym.  I really do like it.  I love the feeling I get after a good, hard workout and that feeling of accomplishment.  However, I hate the people that go there between the hours of 5 and 8 or 9 ish.  It’s friggin social hour or something.  Everyone’s just hogging the machines or the benches shooting the shit with their buddies and not even working out to cause any kind of change in their bodies.  
Then on top of that, today I spotted an empty bench and dove for it only to see this old woman running up to me claiming that she’s using it, rah rah rah.  So naturally I moved for her just to later witness her sitting on it chatting with the lady beside her for like 10 minutes before even picking up a weight!!!!!!!
SO PISSED! I could have finished my exercise in less than that amount of time!!!!!
Anyways, just wanted to post my frustration!
Thanks for reading!

I promised myself that I’d keep a blog to try and keep myself on track… wellllll obviously it hasn’t been working out for me as well as I hoped.  I woke up today with no energy AGAIN! I had no motivation to get my ass outta bed whatsoever.  I did anyways, (just to show face and say hi to my mum) and decided that I need to stay on my grind and get outside and skip.  My goal for this week was to complete 105 minutes of skipping (only 15 minutes a day) at least; and I couldn’t even do 5.  I woke up late again, as usual, at around noon.  Didn’t get my skip in, didn’t have a balanced breaky, watched Oprah (there’s a plus as she’s always motivating!), and then I got a call from my friend to get my ass in the Cardio Kickboxing class at my gym.
We used to have this one teacher who was a black belt and all that jazz who literally kicked out butts.  He’d work everyone so hard; I’ve NEVER sweat so much in my life.  He’s gone for some reason, and we now have this soft guy.  He’d all muscle and everything but he uses most of the class time flirting with a few of the girls and waiting for the music to get the proper beat to do the moves.  So the majority of the time we’re standing around waiting.  I haven’t worked out so soft in a while.  Waste of time!
Anyways, at least I attempted today, oh and I forgot to take my hydroxycut this evening again! UGH! I didn’t want to take it too late because we all know what happened last time!

Thanks for reading and sorry if I bored you lol!!

I understand that I’ve lost 10 lbs in about a week, but I just want this weight off NOW.. I’m really getting impatient and I know that I need to take it slow and steady..
I had great progress this past week and I intend on having more progress this week; I’m just starting to find myself getting more lazy and less motivated.
Things I need to start picking up on again:
1. Drinking more water.  Last week I drank it like it was going out of style, but I lost that motivation over the weekend.
2. Eating every 3 hours.  Last week I was on top of that, but this weekend I really fell off because work got in my way.
3. Jumping rope or getting SOME kind of cardio in every morning right when I wake up.  I’ve lost that motivation over the weekend.. I find myself up really late at night unable to sleep at a decent hour and I wake up so late as well..
I need to get these things in check and re-focus on my goals to keep this ball rolling!!!!

I can do it! I know I can!

I ate way too much and now I’m all bloated and now my ulcer is acting up.. ugh.. no idea why I put myself through this.. it’s all in the name of good food….
this week will be better and I hope to get those pics up asap!!!!

Alright so tonight was yet another night of CHEATING! Ugh! For some reason I just could not control myself.
Actually I know why.. I didn’t eat enough all day and a simple protein shake would just not have sufficed.

Last night, my mom, yet again, tempted me with Fudgee-o’s (if I could spell).  She sat down right in front of me munching away; I don’t think she did it on purpose because she wasn’t trying to tempt me, but I just asked for ONE! That one turned into two and then before I knew it I was fighting with her for just one more!  She was all "oh no! What about your diet?! You can’t have these!" And I said "JUST ONE MORE!!!! IT’S NOT GONNA KILL ME!" Sound sad?  Well, it was.. pretty pathetic! But it was also because I had done so well all week and three cookies were NOT gonna kill me.. I knew that the next day I would just have to get back on track and try to not let it happen again or make it a habit.
Anyways, so I had the cookies and a little 100 calorie Hersey bar thingy on top of already having pea soup (loaded with carbs!!!! ugh) all at around 11 or 12 pm.  I find when I’m working until 10 I’m just that much hungrier when I get home regardless of if I ate on my breaks.
And tonight, I had a WHOLE package of that Lipton chicken noodle soup which is supposed to be like 4 servings and right now it’s 1:34 a.m. :S :S :S
I’m pretty disappointed in myself, I should have just gone to bed earlier and turned a blind eye to my craving.. it wasn’t even hunger, I wasn’t starving!! Normally, at night I try to go to bed hungry so that I wake up and eat like a champ before I get my day started and after I do my cardio.  But tmow, I know that I’m gonna wake up and be all bloated from all the sodium I just ingested and I need to take my weekly progress photos!! Ugh! I’m such a genuis!!

Anyways, I just needed to vent a little bit before bed.  I know tmow and the rest of the week I will do so much better!!! I have to if I want to make up for tonight..
Oh and I’m not beating myself up, I’m just letting you guys know that I’m human and I give into cravings…

Goal for this week… EAT when I’m supposed to, and don’t when I’m not! HA! sounds like a plan!

Thanks for listening (or reading I mean)

Yesterday I learned a valuable lesson….  DO NOT under any circumstance take the Hydroxycut Max after 6.. it throws me completely off track.. if you read my last post, I took one at 11 p.m and I was all pumped and ready to go so I went to the gym and now today I’m all outta it.  I had to work this evening and I didn’t wake up until 1:30 so I missed a few meals and now I’m tired as fcuk!!!!! No working out for me today.. I shall take yet another rest day and get right back in the gym tmow morning!!!!

I fell off the horse, now I’m getting right back up on it!
BAM!

I should not have gone to the gym last night!!!  My gym’s open 24 hours which is great but when your body needs to be on a schedule… then I would not recommend it.  I went at around 2 am.. I was wide awake and had all this energy to burn (I forgot to take my hydroxycut max until like 11 p.m.).  Then I didn’t get home until almost 4 a.m and I’m waking up just now at 1:30 in the afternoon.. not good because now I’ve missed breaky and lunch!!

oh well… I’m getting right back up on that horse!!!