Okay, today I'm writing for advice rather than for bitching purposes..haha. I'm feeling pumped! Thanksgiving is over, and after trying on lots of wedding dresses over the holiday, I'm feeling QUITE motivated. It's funny...I didn't notice in the mirror how out of shape I look (except for in the fitting room of course), but after seeing the pictures people took of me in the dresses....OMG!! I REFUSE to let my body go! My arms look like long flimsy noodles ...no shape...just hanging pieces of flesh. My back was pinched into dresses and I was practically pouring out of them. My boobs...omg! Lets not talk about them. Huge, heavy, saggy...ewww! SOOOOO...over the last couple days, I'm mentally preparing myself for the long, challenging road I have ahead of me. I'm getting married November 13th, 2010. That gives me a whole year to get where I need to be and I think that's plenty of time. I don't have a lot of body fat to lose but I do have a little. I want abs and lots of muscle growth. I want more mass in my legs and butt since I genetically have VERY long muscles so naturally I want some girth. Okay, guys! So what's it going to take? I need a game plan but I'm starting slow to prevent quitting.

This week - I'm starting with three days of at the gym workouts. I know that it's impossible for me to get to the gym after work so it HAS to be in the morning. But...I hate getting up more than ANYTHING!!! I could sleep all day if I wanted to. It doesn't matter how long I've been asleep for or how late in the day it is....I have the hardest time getting up. This will be my BIGGEST, most difficult challenge. So this week I'll be up at 5:30am on Tuesday and Thursday before work to hit the gym. It's a three minute drive so I should try and be there by 5:45am. That gives me a whole hour to work out and then to be home just before 7am. This will be tough but I think I have it in me. The third day of gym time will be Saturday. I'll, again, have to go first thing in the morning...otherwise the day just passes right by and I won't do it. The weekend is tough too because I'm wired to feel like it's time to relax. It's so easy to wake up, eat a big breakfast, and plop down on the couch for some morning TV with my sweetheart. But it's not worth it and I'll have to keep reminding myself. And if I go to the gym, he will too.

So here's what I need some advice on. Since I'm starting slowly and only going to the gym three times this week, I need a good training routine to start. I need to fit cardio and weights in without over doing it and feeling so exhausted that I want to quit, BUT I also want to feel like I'm making a difference and pushing myself. I want to start slowly, get myself used to getting up again, and start making my time at the gym in the mornings a habit. I'll do three days a week for a month to start. I feel that after a month my body will hopefully make this routine a little more easy and I can start increasing my days. Also, my fiance and I have been doing yoga in the evenings at home. It's a nice relaxation time for us after a stressful day at work. I'm hoping that once I start getting back into the gym, he will too and we can still do the yoga once or twice a week in he evenings at home. He's gained a lot of weight and I know he's unhappy about it. It's so easy to get comfortable and start letting things go.

What are some other helpful little hints to keep the motivation going??? As for diet, couple things for me to keep me in check. Snacking...a must! I have a habit of letting myself go until I'm starving. But I'm trying to figure out how I can keep up with my calories and protein (since I'm vegetarian). I want to cut my body fat so what's the easiest way to make sure I'm keeping a good median between good nutrition and exercise. Isn't there a formula?

What else?? I need to take some pictures and track my progress. This will be a battle of self. By that I mean...I have to stay on top of myself about this. I am my own worst enemy. Unlike most of the people on this website, I'm not in love with the feeling of going and working out at the gym. I like it and I feel good afterwards, but it certainly doesn't run my life. Maybe that's what it takes though. Maybe it takes a life change of making this training the center of my universe. I don't know. I sit at a desk all day and have a million other things going on every day. A lot of times I give up my original plans of going to the gym because my fiance says, "hey, lets go and get breakfast at your favorite place." How can I say no to that? Eating is one of our favorite things to do. He's Jewish so his family is very food-oriented and they LOVE to cook. They eat for taste, not nutrition. This will be the second great challenge. But I really think that if I start setting the example, he will follow. This can get tricky tough. For awhile he was on Weight Watchers and he lost 20lbs. He loved the program because he could still eat whatever he wanted....just in limited portions. I have to be careful with this because I know that won't work for me. I'd like to allow myself one cheat meal a week to eat as much of whatever I want. Otherwise, I need to make sure I'm not eating the same stuff my fiance is. He's trying to lose weight. I'm trying to build muscle and drop body fat. There's a difference...right?

This is going to be a long, hard battle but it'll be worth it. The hard work will pay off on that special day in my beautiful white wedding gown. Not to mention, the honeymoon. I want to be naked or in my bathing suit 24-7 and I want to be damn proud of my body! Thank you for reading - any advice or tools that helped you, please share. I'm basically going from one day a week of minimal activity to a full life change. I can't fall off the wagon....I won't let myself. Here it goes!