mrdead’s BodyBlog

Well, Tuesday morning was my surgery. We got there at 0630, I hadn’t had anything to eat or drink since midnight. Check-in was a breeze, since I had pre-registered on the phone a week before. Then, they came in and took my vital signs. Blood pressure and pulse were sky-high. They asked if I was a little bit nervous, and I replied, "A little bit nervous is a gross understatement." You see, I made the mistake of reading up on the procedure, and in big bold letters, it stated that AT ANYTIME DURING THE PROCEDURE THE DOCTOR CAN CHANGE HIS MIND, AND DO THE CLASSIC "LONG" INCISION. Well, they tried to re-assure me. Then they came in, and inserted an I.V.. And, then I got to lay around for an hour and a half with no TV or anything, but the ticking of the clock. Then the doctor came in, and played tic-tac-toe on my tummy. Then the the time came to roll me down "The Green Mile". The last thing I see before going into the chamber of horrors is my wife with tears welling up in her eyes. I get into the room, and transfer myself from the gurney to the  "Table of Torture". Then the fun begins…

They start strapping me down, so I can’t escape. Then there’s a creepy masked face putting a mask over my face. Now this wonderful person tells me that they’re giving me some oxygen to help me breathe… LIAR!!! In about 3 seconds I say to myself, "Oxygen doesn’t make my vision…"

I finish that sentence in the recovery room ,"blurry…" I’m greeted by the first unmasked face that I’ve seen in awhile. She asks if I feel any pain. I barely get the word "Yes" out, and she’s pumping my line full of drugs. I go nitey-nite, again. Finally I am alert enough to be wheeled back into my original room. I’m then informed that if I want to leave, I have to go pee. So, they give me some water and some crackers. I then find out that all of the moisture has been sucked from my body. It takes a quart of water to get the crackers down, all two of them. Well, I suddenly discover that the pain that I’m feeling is from the carbon dioxide that they filled my abdomen with. I look like I’m in my ninth month of pregnancy. Well, finally I go pee, and it’s off to home and recovery. And, yes, I’m still having pain, but am able to go up stairs and walk for 30 minutes by myself. So begins the road to recovery. 

This entry was posted on Friday, November 2nd, 2007 at 11:16 am and is filed under Other. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.