Gymhawg’s BodyBlog

As of Nov. 1, 2009 I won’t be on BodySpace as much.  I will log in about once a month to check comments and messages.  Thanks for all of your  friendships.  I look forward to staying in touch with everyone.

May God Bless.

A few days ago I decided to enter my first run.  It’s only a 5K but I am excited and nervous about it.  I don’t run much so I need to be training hard these next few weeks.  Today I was going to start my new workout routine which will consist of a lot more running and hitting my diet hard but none of that happened.  I was driving back to my place when I got a horrible headache.  Actually it was a migraine.  I have been getting migraines for years now and the past few weeks I have been getting them a lot.  I felt like throwing up so I pulled off the side of the road and waited for an hour at a walmart parking lot.  I tried to eat but i felt like I couldn’t keep anything down.  I finally got on the road and tried to drive the last hour back to my place.  I finally made it and when I get there I went right to bed.  I only planned to sleep 2-3 hours but it was 9 hours before I woke up.  I missed class tonight.  This has been the third week of class that I have missed in a row.  These migraines have caused me to miss a lot of class and a lot of work outs.  Migraines suck.  I guess I am going to have to see a doctor about them pretty soon.  Anybody  else suffer from this?

I don’t blog much at all on here but I feel like I need to.  I thought i was doing ok but I don’t think I have been doing good at all.  I grew up a skinny kid and just wanted to gain some muscle.  As I have been getting older I have been gaining weight.  For a while I was happy because I was filling out a bit and my appetite was getting better.  Now I feel like I am carrying spare tires around my lower belly.  I feel like I am turning into my dad and brothers…that’s something I promised I would not do.  I have been working out off and on for about 2 years now and I have been pretty serious since January.  I have even had a few trainers to work with over this time frame.  I recently took a couple weeks off and have just gotten back to things the other night.  I looked in the mirror tonight and was awakened to a nightmare.  I am not what I thought I was.  I have been coming home sore as can be and I crave certain foods and for most of the time I don’t give in to my cravings but yet I look like I do.  I am real disappointed and kinda depressed about the whole deal.  I don’t know what to do.  I feel encouraged yet no change has happened.  I have more strength and more endurance yet my appearance makes me look so out of shape.  I am at a loss of words and at a loss of ideas.  I don’t wanna give up because I will end like I don’t want to for sure then.  But at the same time I feel like that’s going to be my result no matter what I do.  I am just really saddened at what I have become.  Hopefully things will change soon.