morgan12422’s BodyBlog

Hi there mamas and mama-citas!

I am incredibly curious about what diet works the best for you…

Really, lay it on me! I’m dying to know your Top 3 AND your BOTTOM 3.

What are your pitfalls, what is the greatest weapon in your arsenal?

Let me know and keep on keeping on!

Thank you!

Boo!

The past few months have been quite the journey. Not an easy or supported one, but a journey none the less.

I’ve been accused of writing ’shady’ things about another gym-goer here (FOR THE LAST TIME, WHAT IN THE HECK MAKES YOU THINK THAT HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU?) in my ‘Hello Kitty Bandaids’ blog and subsequently lost; what I at one time considered, a friend.

During this whole dramatic time I still went to the gym. I pushed my weight. I received pitiful looks from other gym members who felt this person abandoned me when I needed them the most. I endured prying questions and whispers behind my back.

I pushed my weight.

There was speculation that the only reason I started this journey was to impress or please this individual. I heard it not only from them, but others as well.

I pushed my weight.

I pushed for no one else because no one else was going to push for me. I pushed through the looks, through the heartache and through eight different kinds of pain.

I pushed my weight. Alone.

This person told me that I didn’t have the heart. That I didn’t have the dedication. That I would never know what true discipline was.

I cried and then I pushed my weight.

As time went on, people started to notice that I really was giving it my all. The looks of pity turned to admiration and a swell of pride filled those who I came to know.

They saw me fight, they saw me fall down and they saw me get back up.

They never saw me feel sorry for myself.

They never saw me quit.

They saw me push my weight.

So now here I am. Standing on my little ant hill that feels like a great big mountain. Knowing that I did it. In spite of being knocked down and having my pride stripped from me. I fought for it and it is mine again.

And I will never give you or anyone else the opportunity to take that from me ever again.

I pushed my weight. 

I’m curious to know when one should really start concentrating on ‘leaning out’. Ideally, I know that we all want to maintain a certain level of leaness while building muscle, but when do you know when you should switch your focus?

I’m not being exclusive to the phenomenon of platueing, but rather the specific question of: what guidelines do you use to determine when dieting is appropriate.

I understand it is all different depending on the person, but I want to know what you use personally to determine that it’s time.

Also, what works best for you? What does your body repond to the best?

I am still in the ‘learning’ and ‘experimenting’ phases of training and am incredibly interested in what has worked best for others.

Tell me your story, I’d LOVE to hear it!

:)

Day 170: I can’t believe it’s been 170 days already! I first went back to the gym April 1st or 2nd. I just can’t believe it’s been that long.

I’ve had my ups and I’ve certainly had my downs, but now feels like an entire new step in evolution.

I feel like I’ve built a solid foundation and now is the time to try carb depletion and refeeding. Although, I’m not quite sure how to go about it.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

Day who-the-heck-cares of being incredibly tired. I’m so exhuasted of being tired. Dr.’s can’t figure out what in the heck is going on.

I’m narcoleptic. I’m used to being tired. This; however, is not narcoleptic tired.

Going back to eating very limited carbs. Hopefully that’ll help.

Something just doesn’t feel quite right.

Today I’m far more awake than I have been over the past month. I also have had a very few amount of carbs, took my multi-v, B12, omega oils, lipolyze, and provigil.

My breakfast looks like a mental patient’s morning rations. All I was missing was a little paper cup!

Remarkably, my shoulder feels a little loser today too. Usually my scapula is pulled so tight against my back I’m in constant pain.

I have no problem eating this way, I just want to understand why this is happening.

I’m so tired of being tired.

Is there anyone else having the same problem? 

So it’s been a while huh?

Well this is what I’ve been up to:

I started out really, really strong like so many people do… and then I lost my support.

This was devestating on so many different levels. I trusted these individuals to be there because they had been in the begining. Some were even my heroes in the truest sense of the word.

I must not be a very good friend to make someone question my integrity the way they did. I was already having an extremely tough time with some family issues, so it was positively crushing for someone I trusted to question what kind of person I really was.

It hurts now just thinking about it.

But that was in the past. It’s not now.

So here I go again on my own…. Going down the only road I’ve ever known… Like a twister… you get the idea.

Somehow I knew it would come down to just me. In the end doesn’t it always?

After picking myself up and putting on a few mental band-aids on some emotionally skinned knees, I was back at it.

It didn’t take very long because lifting weights are the Hello-Kitties on my band-aids.

So, I started dropping fat more and more. Taking pictures nearly every week and then I saw it.

Yes. It.

While in the ‘pump’, I was doing rear delts on that crazy leaning over weird bench that I clearly don’t know the word for and there it was. Striations, a lot of them.

Holy cow. We’re not talking the ohh ahh, look at how cool that looks kinda cow… We’re talking, holy crap, Morgan what have you done to yourself? Is that is the future of your body and do you really want that, you man-beast woman?

Of course I don’t have the size of anything crazy, but it scared me. A lot. Not having anyone to talk to about it either was even worse.

So I cut back on dieting. If you look at my little graph you can probably guess when this all when down.

It was also during this time that I was gleefully happy that a friend had thought enough of me to buy me a tub of Chain’d Out.

I was addicted to this stuff! Loved every part of it. Except for the fact that I’m narcoleptic.

My friends without their medical degrees didn’t believe me that this was affecting my symptoms. In fact, my friends without their medical degrees tend not to believe me at all.

But that’s not my problem. Narcolepsy is.

While I was getting great results with Chain’d Out, I began having serious attacks. It’s not the product’s fault by ANY stretch of the imagination, it’s just simply how my brain processes the chemicals. I actually LOVE ALRI’s products and take Hyper-Shot every morning. 

It’s really my fault for taking it as long as I did, knowing that there was chemical substantiation to back my thoeries.

To solidify my thoughts, I went to my Neurologist (brilliant man) and discussed what was going on. Turns out, people WITH medical degrees can understand me AND not only believe me but also agree with me.

Hey here’s something I didn’t know… Some BCAA’s CAN actually be stored in the body!

Figures.

Anywho…

It’s now been a week since I’ve been off and I’m finally begining to feel better. We’ve had to double my medication, but at least I’m not literally taking micro-naps in between sets.

As a side note: Let’s not stare at anyone who looks really tired at the gym. They probably ARE really tired and don’t want you staring at them. Besides, you never know if they’re actually kickboxers and when they’ll wake up…

te he…

Anyway… 

I’m still taking Hyper-Shot in the mornings and that’s working well for me. The only thing is when I take it, initially I have a peripheral nervous system reaction causing my extremities to feel ‘itchy’.

Weird. Whatever. Still taking it.

I plan on starting to really, really diet down in the next week and see where that takes me. I’m down to about 19% now and want to see if I can’t get close to single digits.

Man, motivation is hard. But as they say, if it were easy, everyone would do it.

I think the hardest part about Narcolepsy is that no one can see that you’re ‘technically disabled’ and sleep is something that everybody does.

It’s hard explaining that you’re not lazy, ESPECIALLY when you have cataplaxy and can’t always speak correctly.

I’m completely blessed that I have real, true friends that will always be there for me. Even when I speak like a drunk person or use words that don’t make sense in sentences.

Clearly, it’s a super fun thing to have.

Well this is getting long now isn’t it?

Wrapping it up, I’ve decided after the initial ’shock’ of seeing that much definition, I am going for it.

In a few years, I’d like to have a family and this might be my last time to really get in there and show what I can do.

This will never be the definition of my life, but rather a part of my discription.

So let’s see what happens!

So here I am again. yippee… Clearly less than enthusiastic. But, there are going to be these days and there’s only so many of them before I’m completely happy and blissful in my new body. Today is my first cup of coffee in 2 months. I might write something completely different in an hour or two. LOL

Since my ‘gym partner’ (can you see how re re that sounds Erik? slob) and I started working out, my body has begun to change drastically.

I’m exhausted, not just narcoleptic exhausted, but truly exhausted.

I am aware this is just another phase in the great story of evolution, but this Cretaceous Period is getting old (no pun intended, yet hilarious).

LOL I’m a Morgasaurus Rex!

Man, moving into to the Paleozoic Era would be nice. But as Erik says, ‘we have to crawl before we walk (in my case run).’ So I guess I’ll have to push through the Jurassic and Triassic periods of my personal evolution before getting to good ol’ Paleo.

That will be an accomplishment. Then the really hard stuff begins. I’m kinda viewing Precambian as my personal peak.

For now, I’m in the Mesozoic Era of Morgandom and I’m cool with that. At the very least, I’ve graduated from the Cenozoic Era and am no longer primordial ooze. LOL

Can you tell that the coffee is kicking in?

In any case, I feel as though I’m the second guy from the left on the human evolution chart. LOL

I might not be totally upright yet, but at least I’m walking on two fabulous looking legs!

So what are your thoughts on a ketogenic diet? Where do you find the best resources for this are?

I’m going to try this and could really use all the support and knowledge I can get.

Ladies, what kind of results have you had if you have tried this form of diet?

Again, any Mega Millions numbers yet? LOL

Oh and the results I’m looking for are pretty standard, i.e. fat loss and muscle gain. What else do people want from results really?

I appreciate all your help and ideas!

They are in the form of tired and achy. I am sharply reminded very quickly that I have to be very strict with what I put into my body. Cheating is one thing, but for someone like me, cheating means a lot more than just extra calories.

Over this weekend, I had such a fabulous and amazing time, I actually broke from my normal and strict routine to eat out a couple of times. I am sorely paying now.

I am aware that this will pass, but it is a sharp reminder that my body has it’s own personal post-it notes in the form of symtoms that remind me not to do it again.

No matter how incredibly worth it going out can be.

And believe me, it really was worth it.