momsinthongs’s BodyBlog

By Shane “The People’s Chemist” Ellison, M.S.

It was hard writing this article. My frustration over stupid diet myths and those who perpetuate them almost prevented me from writing cogently. But in the name of America’s gaping eye-candy deficiency, I was able to push past my frustrations to expose four stupid diet myths.

Stupid Diet Myths #1: Drink Juice

Oprah’s personal trainer Bob Greene insists that, “To curb that sweet craving, have a cup of fruit juice.” It’s no wonder his celebrity client continues to pack on the pounds at record breaking speeds: Green pushes what’s good for his sponsors (the food industry), not what’s good for your health.

Juice spikes insulin, blood sugar and our “feel good” neurotransmitters. If you don’t want to be an honorary member of The Fat Cow Hall of Fame, don’t drink it. All three of these biological effects lead to obesity and sugar addiction. This warning also goes for the “Super Fruit” juice drinks sold via the infomercial pitch that insists they are a great antioxidant. FYI: A healthy body is fully protected from free radicals thanks to the natural production of the antioxidant glutathione.

Stupid Diet Myths #2: Eat 4-6 Small Meals Per Day

Here is another way to spike insulin and get fat fast; Feed your face 4-6 times daily (graze). This myth grew from the erroneous idea that eating boosts metabolism. And it does. But after three meals per day, this metabolic effect diminishes. It’s like watering a plant all day rather than once a day. Eventually it dies. We’re not that fortunate. If we eat too often, we are forced to waddle our way through life, just like Dr. Weil; man-boobs fully intact.

Note: Dr. Weil states, “I have never eaten a McDonald’s hamburger. I think I am one of the few Americans who can say that. However, I have, when on the road, gone into a McDonald’s to get a Coca Cola.” No doubt he is telling the truth.

Restricting feeding times to three meals per day is crucial because during the five hours between meals, the body produces anti-aging and muscle building hormones courtesy of hormone intelligence. Disrupt this timing and you produce fat inflating and age-accelerating ones - courtesy of hormone ignorance.

Grazing is for cows. If you like mimicking fat farm animals (or Dr. Weil) go for it.

Note: A select few “eat all day” advocates offset the fat building effect with an exercise addiction that takes them to the gym every day. This isn’t practical for everyone, and excess exercise wrinkles your face fast.

Stupid Diet Myth #3: Restrict Your Calories

Don’t ever diet. If you let yourself get hungry, your body will go into fat storage mode. Starvation tricks the body into thinking there’s not enough food in the world. Therefore, once you do eat something, it gets stored as unsightly belly fat. Jeans get tight. And everyone knows that carrying more junk in the trunk isn’t right. To prevent the “oh no, please don’t wear a thong” effect, never restrict calories to the point that you become wildly hungry.

This isn’t a ticket to eat whatever, whenever. Anyone who has ever eaten too many burgers understands that caloric overload does in fact fatten you up. The key here is customization. Eat your required amount of calories based on your lifestyle and goals in the form of healthy fat, protein and slow-absorbing carbohydrates - three times per day - nothing more. You can’t cheat calories, no matter how healthy your food or how blessed your metabolism.

Stupid Diet Myth #4: Don’t Eat Red Meat

Fat always gets a bad rap. Forgetting chemistry 101, cardiologists insist that all fats are bad. With sweeping generalizations, they tell us to avoid red meat due to its fat content. They fail to distinguish between the fat promoting and heart disease inducing trans-fats and the essential, saturated fats in meat.

Forgetting biochemistry, doctors fail to remember that every single cell in the human body is dependent on saturated fat; making up the cell membrane and even the lump in our skull known as the brain.

Forgetting nutrition, they also fail to remember that most vitamins require healthy, saturated fat to be absorbed by the body.

And forgetting physiology, they fail to remember that meat contains the muscle building compound known as creatine. Take home lesson: Doctors are forgetful and grass fed beef should be a major part of your diet. Abstain from trans-fat like your life depends on it.

Nobody is immune to stupid diet myths. And they are here to say, with new ones popping up every day. This is a stark reminder that marketing hype always supersedes diet logic. Let your waistline be your guide. If your fat loss efforts aren’t working, try something new. The beach awaits!

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