mommaboldt’s BodyBlog

Well a few weeks ago I got a diet and workout plan from my trainer/friend to start to prepare for possibly dong a comp in Sept.  HOLY ****!  I started out strong, but then life, the kids, bathroom remodel, total water explosion from the dishwasher- life just takes control and perhaps wants to see what you’re really made of.  Apparantly, though, I’m alright.  Food could certainly be better, I’ve allowed myself way too many "treats", whether it was several beers at the Kid Rock concert last week, or dipping into the Hubby’s ice cream.  All in all, my meals are all complete and clean.  I love,love,love my workouts!  Getting to the gym this past week has been difficult so I have been working out at home a little, though it is just not the same!  I did figure out that I need to invest in some heavier dumbells at home though.

Thanks for inspiring me to keep moving forward, I might not make it in Sept, but eventually, my time will come.

So many things running through my mind.  I’ve had trouble sleeping the past 2 nights and I think it’s because my brain is going a mile a minute.  Starting to plan for some serious changes - as in.. getting ready to start preparing for a figure comp!!  Big change for me most definately.  I have been blowing off the idea for a while now due to my own fears.  I see now that I do need to do this.  Why??  I find being home with kids is great and all, but I need to have some more invigorating personal goals.  I don’t have a job where there are deadlines and promotions, it’s just me, the kids, and then hubby works all day long.  I keep thinking I want them to be so proud of me and all that, but most importantly I need to be proud of myself.

It’s funny, I find myself in that "wanna another baby mode" lately, pretty much ever since I made the decision to train for the competition- it’s that fear again…. if I got pregnant, then I would have to postpone my figure plans, again.  Not now sister.  Time to rock.

Had a great cardio/back&bi workout this morning at the gym.  The gym has really become my priority.  I’ve been doing a little more research online and talking to the girls at the gym that do compete.  Getting excited!!!!  This summer is gonna bring some real changes, on the outside of course- but more excited on how I feel about myself and just my whole outlook.  It’s good, all good!!

Hubby hasn’t jumped on board yet with getting his ass to the gym, but I won’t let that slow me down.  His journey is his own and I will totally respect it.  (but I do think he might start getting out to the gym once he sees momma running around the beach with the kids in her cute little bikini!!!)  I keep reminding myself who I was when we dated and who he fell in love in with, and certainly was someone who took care of her shit!!

It has finally clicked - seriously- after almost 35 years of feeling "not good enough" I have found the answer.  Me.  That’s all. Change your thinking, change your world.  As far back as I can remember I allowed "other people" to cloud my thoughts, make me feel badly about myself, and judge myself WAY to harshly.  I realize just now that it does start with me. 

The kids wanted to go in the pool the other day.  Putting on a bathing suit has always been a traumatic experience for me - how does it look?  what will other people think?  Always looking for that outside acceptance I never truly accepted myself.  Now I do.  I put on the bikini, which, by the way, fits better than it did before giving birth to my two little cuties!!!  I climbed up the deck with the kids and the water was freezing so it took us a while to actually get in.  As I glanced over the fence I noticed our manly neighbor and his guy delivering lumber.  Normally I would totally freak out, but I didn’t.  Practicing some affirmations I just told myself all the things I was always looking for someone else to say - "girl, you look good!"  and thought how lucky my husband was to have a wife who took the time to take care of herself!  It worked- I didn’t freak out - I instead enjoyed my time with my kids in the freezing Jersey air!!

 It does start in our heads.  So what if I don’t look like a fitness model (yet!)  If I take care of myself and feel good about who I am and the things I do that is all that matters, right?  In the spirit of feeling good I need to set some new goals for myself- so here it is- I will prepare for a figure competition set for the fall.

 It’s gonna be a fun ride- here we go….

What is it about a little pint of Ben&Jerrys that some of us just cannot resist?  I know that my ass will not be grateful for the extra 1200 calories of deliciousness, but I do it anyway- and yes- 2 DAYS in a ROW!  So, what is a girl to do?  Well I put myself through a rough and torturous leg workout today that will have me screaming when I try to stand up in the morning.  That should do it for the junk food for the week.

How do you control cravings?  Or, how do you say NO to something not good for the diet when it’s right there?  Tip, tricks, whatever…

The truth is- I know I eat like crap.  I never say no to a brownie or a pint of Ben&Jerrys.  Never do I walk by the kitchen and not grab a stack of Ritz crackers.  On the whole I eat clean, but pile the crap on top and that is exactly why I am moving so damned slow towards my goals.  What do I want?  I want to lose the extra "something" at my bellybutton area.  I want to feel that I can accomplish this small thing that has plagued me for too long now.

What would I tell someone else?  First, get rid of the crap.  If you have to have it for other people in the house, then what?  Plan your meals.  Have everything already prepared and ready so there is no excuse.  The big thing for me is to feed my mind.  Reading anything I can get my hands on about fitness or nutrition.  Blogging.  Being in the moment when I am lifting, focusing on that and only that.  Making sure to have fun with the kids and Hubby.  Getting out of the gym on my Saturday "cardio" day and enjoying the sunshine.  More to come on this list, especially since I am still learning what makes me smile and all.

 Thanks again for the inspiration…

When I was younger and much more insecure I remember looking at people who worked out and took alot of time to care for themselves and thinking "boy, is he/she full of themselves!"  - as if it were a bad thing!  Now I know that it is the only way to be truly good to yourself.  Walking around with my flannel shirt tied around my waist, eating crap and hunching over, afraid of the world is not the way to enjoy life.  Energize, eat clean and working out has made me feel so much better about me, about how I take care of me, and about how I take care of those people around me.  I smile alot more.  I stop and look in the mirror and, instead of thinking "shit, those arms are so flabby" I think "hey, look at that muscle!". 

I keep hoping that Hubby will jump back to the gym, eat better, yada yada yada, truthfully though, the best way for me to get him motivated is for me to be at my best. Being full of yourself is not a bad thing, it makes you a better person and more of an inspiration to those around you.

so keep inspiring me here guys- you are truly making a difference in my life!!!!

For too many years to count I worked out when I thought I needed to lose weight.  Just recently, at almost 35 years old, I found so much more about fitness and eating right than I ever thought possible.  For me, I found these things to be true:

• When I eat Gluten-Free I feel better- I am not so darn tired, my clothes feel better, there is actually a 3″ difference on my waist from not being bloated, my neck muscles don’t ache. 
• When I lift weights- doing it right for me- heavy, to failure, I focus on what I am doing, and ONLY on what I am doing- I am not worrying, overthinking, or planning anything else- so meditative!
• When I focus on playing with the kids instead of being an “effective parent” I actually parent better!
• When I am taking care of me first- eating right to take care of my body, working out to take care of my body, reading things that interest me (fitness, nutrition, these blogs that everyone takes their precious time to write, planning date night with the Hubby)- I am being the best me, and that is truly what it is all about!

Thank you to everyone who takes the time to share their stories here, I am finding the most amazing inspiration to push me to be the best I can be!

I did a GREAT Leg/Ab workout today- and all on my own!  I was a little afraid to be finished with my friend/trainer for a while, but I am slowly seeing that I can do this.  I just ordered some van. protein powder and had been doing some research  on BCAA, so I also ordered The SCiVation Xtend.  I am always excited when I get that Bodybuilding.com delivery in the mail!!!

One of the girls at my gym just competed in a local competition this past weekend and I was really excited to see her getting ready at the gym on Saturday.  Maybe I’ll work up that nerve to do it myself…. 

I have really been hitting the weights hard in the gym lately and it’s time to up the cardio.  But seriously, my MAJOR downfall is my own mental block- when it comes to food - I plan it, make it, but then just fall of the wagon and end up eating the shit that I wouldn’t even want my kids to eat.                    WTF??

I have had to sit and take a serious look into this and the thoughts I have been whispering to myself as of late, or even, for far too long.  Negative, nasty and viral, this is what I hear.  Would I ever want my daughter, or my son to feel this way about themselves?  of course not!  Do I project this out to others?  of course not - what a wacko I would be, huh?  So why is that I somehow made it ok to be treated like this - by ME??  Food is fuel- take care of yourself.   Love yourself- in thoughts, actions, how I choose to spend my free time. 

 No more selling myself short, not making it to the finish line, and definately no more using food as anything more than it needs to be - energy and fuel to get through the day and the adventures I am bound to have when I open up and see all the possibilities.