So my mom has been depressed lately cuz a three year relationship she has had with a guy ended recently. I was surprised to see it get to her bad; no she's suicidal and all, but she feels like the relationship fell through because she wasn't attractive enough, or she is old, or this or that. Basically she started to blame herself, which drove me nuts. I keep telling her to get over it, but as she has pointed out to me, it is easy for me to say that because I am young. A breakup for a young guy/woman isn't going to stop us from finding another because we got youth on our side. For her not so. She is pressing 50, and though everyone tells her that she still looks 20 (I'm not lying), she feels the pangs of old age (wrinkles that were not there begin to appear, hair turning white near the temple, pains from joints she never felt before). So I guess this breakup has more of deeper meaning for her than I figured.
Today was another typical Saturday for me-busy as hell. No time for gym, just keeping up with my responsibilities. Towards the end of the day, I went grocery shopping with her, and she was in a her depressed state yet again. I hate sounding unsympathetic, but I was so tired of it. You have to understand that this was the same woman that held down three jobs at one time for nearly a year, who helped me through school and through my 3 years of hell that I passed through after high school. The same woman who when I was a kid, would wake up at 5 am and drag my sorry butt through the streets with her while she cranked up Madonna's "Material Girl" on her Sony Walkman and ran like there was no tomorrow. It was just unlike her to be this sad, withered person, mopping around for a man, feeling old and feeble, when I believe that that same young vibrant woman that I remembered still is living within her with every beat of her heart. All I needed was for her to recognize that truth, and then it hit me: "Mom, it's a beautiful evening, why don't we go running in the park like we used to?"
And boy did that do something. Her face lit up and she took to it like fat kid on cake. She got dressed up and so did I and we went. It was late already, but we both hit the pavement hard, and I was surprised at how well she kept up with me. It had been years since she ran at the level she was going today, but she made it, and the evening could not have been more precious. Idk, there is something more surreal about running through nature's terrain rather than at a treadmill or Stairmaster. All I can say is that when we got back home, her character changed. For that brief period in the park, she was not my aging mom, but she was once again that single gal with the legs in her first year in the United States. She was that woman who recognized no barriers and who could crush any obstacle in her path. She was fierce and independent, not needing a man to help her get through this run (I certainly didn't help). She lost herself in that heat of the moment, in the run, in the beautiful scenery, somewhere. Reality took a backseat and she found herself again.
When we got back home she thanked me for the run and already was fitting plans in the next week for more runs. Obviously, this first run did not eradicate her depression, but let's just say she gave it an upper hook My personal advice: if you are feeling down for any reason, find something that you can lose yourself in. For me its fitness and I can definitely say that I got it from my mom. But for others it could be music, art, work, religion, innovation, something that you can find yourself and let lose your full potential. Its moments like that that truly define who we are, not the struggles in our life. How? Because those moments appear right when the struggles and problems do; we create those moments. We create our victories. No one can stop us in those moments because we are at our element. Though it never hurts to have a pal give us that little push like I did for her today to help us get there