4th of July….
I know it is a little late for an update but here it goes anyway.
On the Fifth of July I went to my first fat wedding. I know this sounds very cruel but I have no other way to explain this. My cousin just married a man that is 10 years older than her. The age thing does not bother me as long as he treats her right. Anyway, both are extremely over weight. The guy has to have a plan to get out of a chair. It is pretty sad. They love each other and that is all that matters. I tried looking on the bright side of things and thought,"hey, there has to be good food at the wedding…they are big people!" Yes I know, sad again. And did I mention I was wrong in that assumption? Try sandwiches that included a white castle sized bun and one slice of meat….and nothing else. No cheese. No mayo. No lettuce. NOTHING!! They had fruit. I love fruit!! and cake. Do you remember what the Lego dudes looked like? You could take their hair off and switch hair styles around? That is what the icing on the cake reminded me of. It could pop right off! LOL…..
That night we went to a party. Had a PPV fight on TV. Went to a friends house that has a little girl that my boy knows. They played all night long. Never whined or cried. That gave me a nice break. Got to hang with some friends, my wife socialized, and I got drunk. I know…shame, shame….but I had a great time!
Let’s back track a day shall we? On the 4th, we went to my mothers house. Had a nice cookout. Played with the kids. Caught up a little bit. We then went outside to light fireworks. it was very humid that day so the smoke from the fireworks stayed pretty low to the ground. We had children friendly fireworks like those snaps and smoke bombs that had different colored smoke. Apparently we had irritated a yellow jacket nest while setting off these smoke bombs. I am just very thankful that my wife had taken my little girl inside to eat. The yellow jackets stung me three times, My little boy got stung five times. Three times in the ankle. I had never heard him cry like that. My moms boyfriend got it three or four times. We ran into the house and they were all on our clothes. This was a very traumatic experience. My mom sent me an email one day saying to stick a penny on a sting because the copper will pull the poison out of your skin. I guess it worked….I don’t know. I still have a nice size irritated spot on my back but my other spots are gone. That about sums it up.
July 9, 2008 at 5:07 am
Oh, man that is awful!!! The penny thing is genius if it works! I can picture you guys taping pennies all over your bodies. I do that for fun anyways so it’s good to know it may actually help me one day
July 9, 2008 at 5:34 am
Oh my word, that sounds like a horrible end to your evening! I am allergic to beestings, and although I should carry an epi pen along with me, I don’t. So if I was there, I would have probably died by now.
I’m so sorry to hear that you guys got stung so many times. 
I never knew about that copper thing! I will be sure to mention it the next time I see someone with a fresh bee sting. PS. Nobody spanked the monkey. 
July 9, 2008 at 8:17 pm
Wow, your mom actually tried to help when you got stung? When I was a kid my "mom", really she was just a crazy cat hording homeless lady we let play our mom, would throw yellow jacket nests into out beds at night. This is why I sleep in a bathtub filled with water now.
July 9, 2008 at 8:38 pm
Wow, sounds like a whirl wind of a couple of days. That sucks about the yellow jackets (especially that they got your sweet little boy) I’m glad you guys aren’t allergic like jjanet and I , yep we would probably both be dead. I hope y’all heal quickly. For future reference, amonia on a rag works for stings too. That sux about the food too, the only 3 reasons to go to a wedding is if you are in it, if you are obligated, and for FOOD and DRINK. Hope y’all had an otherwise good holiday. Peace, Cheryl
July 10, 2008 at 9:27 am
Dude, I would kill somebody if I went to a wedding and didn’t get any decent grub! I mean who brings their own Miracle Whip? LOL
Anyway, I’m glad for your cousin she got a good man.
The scene with the yellow jackets remind me of "The Burbs" starring Tom Hanks. Remember that one?
July 10, 2008 at 9:36 am
BUMMER about the wedding! We had a "fit" wedding, but the grub was DELISH! hahaha
Sorry about the yellow jackets!!!
July 12, 2008 at 10:25 pm
http://gwinnettdailypost.com/main.asp?SectionID=6&SubSectionID=84&ArticleID=16944
July 13, 2008 at 2:13 pm
OH MY GOSH - poor Logan and poor YOU!! I hope you guys are doing okay with the bee stings
That wedding sounds AWESOME… not!! But like you said, as long as they’re happy, hopefully they’ll be able to take care of each other!!
August 28, 2008 at 8:18 pm
oh my….. i hope things are better since you wrote this last note…