Mike’s blog

So, here we were talking about vacations and such with other co-workers when Jeff decides to tell us that he has never been on any real vacations. A guy I work with then said,"You have never been to the beach?" His reply was ROFL…,"well, yeah, I went to a beach once when I was in Vegas." I laughed and reminded him that Las Vegas was in the middle of the desert. He was persistent.."No, I am pretty sure we went to the beach when I was in Vegas." LOL!!! This guy is freaking lost! LOL!! I then said,"were you tard?" ROFL!!

Story number two!

We have parts delivered to us at scheduled times. Each part is labeled with an ID of some type. In this case, Jeff was running out of pipes with the ID "C" on it. We have pipes labeled with "C", "T", "F", "05", and "10". So he calls our boss over and says (in his southern accent) "I need more C’s."  My boss replied,"T’s?" Jeff then answered, "No, C as in Kite." Bwahahaha!!! Everybody standing around that heard started laughing. Poor Jeff had no clue again. My boss was laughing so hard that he was crying. He then informed Jeff that Kite actually began with a "K". Jeff was just like…"Ohh." "I still need them!" ROFLMAO!!

What is there to say about Jeff you ask? Well, sit back and relax. The story starts a few months back at work.

I was running a process at work when a group of new temporaries started walking by. It was a normal day. Three of the temps were given the fate of working with me in Chassis. Out of the three, we have one left standing…..Jeff!

Jeff is not your normal, everyday guy. Example you ask? For starters, he grew up in a very small town on a farm. He has the VERY VERY southern accent that you just can not ignore. This guy has never had a root beer float! He has never had peanut butter and jelly! If that is not bad enough, he only eats fried chicken, mashed potatoes and beans. That’s it!

Since I work with Jeff, I talk to him. It gets boring when you work without talking to anybody. Let me just say that he has his own word for everything. For starters….He calls a nut, a bolt. He calls a bolt, a screw. He calls a rubber exhaust hanger, a rubber. He calls extra sealer on the body of a car, rubber! Ohhh…and get this…he calls hole plugs….rubbers! LOL…I told him he’d better not ask our boss for a box of rubbers! LOL!! Besides his own language, his accent makes certain words sound like something else. Another example? When he is tired he tells me that he is "tard". And of course his father is "retard"…ohh…I mean retired! LOL!!! And a wire is a "war". You get the point.

The other night we were talking and that song "My baby loves the hanky panky" came on the radio. He started singing it. I cracked up laughing. He then informed me that his baby does not like the hanky panky. I asked him if it was because she was "tard"? LOL…he was like,"It could be. I am tard all of the time."

"It must be hard being tard all of the time." I replied

"Yeah, when I am tard, I can’t even function." He informed me.

"Is your Dad tard?" I asked

"I don’t know. He sleeps a lot though."

"Doesn’t he work?" I asked

"No, he is retard." He replied

"So he is tard?"

"I don’t know!" he said

"but you just told me he was retard." I informed him. "Is that where you get it from?"

At this time he had the most puzzled look on his face that I had ever seen! It was so hard not to laugh!! He finally understood what I was doing and we enjoyed a good laugh. Now whenever he says says "war", I always jump in and say,"what is it good for? Absolutely nothin." ROFL.

Okay, there may be a second edition to this little story but as of now, It’s bed time!!

I finally hit my goal. Though, I thought it was unachievable for a long time. Patience is a virtue my friends! I got 405 lbs on deadlift tonight! I was so psyched that I tried 415 only to fail! LOL….But 405 happened! No straps! Just chalk and a belt. Felt very good. Now that I know mentally I can do it, I am going to up my reps for a couple of weeks. The next 2 weeks is going to be 4×6 on deadlifts and squats. On the third week, I will work on increasing my reps on my max lifts. You know the feeling when  a big burden is lifted off your shoulders? That is what this felt like tonight. I was so close I could feel it. I pictured myself lifting the weight first and then BAM! I got it!!

On another note, I mentioned before about people telling me how much they USED to be able to lift and what not….Well, guess what? That phase is now passing and it seems that people have to compare themselves to me now. This is getting old fast!! There are three new guys at work and the first thing out of one guys mouth was,"I used to be big like you…hell, my arms were bigger than yours." OKAY….This is not how you make friends. I just ignored him in the beginning but he kept talking about it. Finally I asked him what he was trying to prove. He told me "nothing, I was just saying." I snapped back,"Who’s bigger than who now?" I think he got the point. Though I don’t believe for a second he ever lifted weights. Guy number two was pretty much the same way. Why do people have to belittle other people? Can’t we talk about something else? NO! apparently not. We have to talk about how much better I USED to be! F*CK that sh!t!! LOL…Guy number three…"I know a bunch of guys that are bigger than you." My response…"WhooptyF*ckinDoo! I never said I was big…nice to meet you too f*cktard!" LOL….Can you sense the sarcasm? Anybody else ever experience this? Why must people be threatened by other people. I never said anything to belittle anybody else and now all of a sudden I am a target! I guess all of this adrenaline I have from tonight is going through my head right now but seriously…what gives? One guy told me that he used to lift weights all of the time but it got too heavy! I cracked up laughing in his face and called him a pansy. Who lifts weight for it to be light? My opinion…he was ego lifting like the other f*cktards that can’t keep a hobby….or a job! Hope everybody is having an awesome week! Going to my first Stronman competition on Saturday. My buddy Fogg82 is competing….send him some support!