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Change of Heart

Sunday, October 26th, 2008

Still going to compete in the spring 2009…but just not with FAME… bigger and better organizations that really, truly do care about their athletes.

Stay tuned for my next choice of organization to compete with.

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I’m back!!!

Tuesday, October 21st, 2008

Hello All,

Well well well… where have I been.

Obviously I did not compete in the FAME Nationals like I had planned. I can’t even begin to tell you all the details as why I’ve been AWOL for the last few months. I did switch careers after 5.5 years and have been travelling a great deal since July.

I am slowly updating my information as I will be doing another show in the Spring of 2009. So that means I’ll be back more often and updating more often as I find this site to be invaluable when it comes to inspiring me and motivating to keep going.

Short terms goals are to drop some of the extra weight I packed on in the last few months. Yes it’s my fault, I take full ownership…but if you could give me just a little sympathy. Travelling lots and staying in hotels plus the stress of learning a new job all together have been detrimental to my regular gym and nutrition routine. Well not anymore!

I’m cranky, I don’t sleep well and mostly I don’t feel healthy or fit. (seriously NOT CUTE) So here I go, no excuses and no more sympathy cries.

For now I’m just focusing on getting back into my gym routine and prepping my body for another round of competition dieting which will start in December.

Stay tuned…I will be back.

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July 15th Update

Tuesday, July 15th, 2008

Okay it’s been a few days since my last blog…time to update a few things.

The last week has been a complete whirlwind. I haven’t stopped to have two thoughts to myself.

1. Last Thursday I had an interview with a Software Company.

2. Friday I completed a Brain Bench personality quiz with 100 questions for the Software Company. I whizzed through it in less then 4 minutes! =)

I sent off a Thank You letter to the company for taking their time to interview me and possibly consider me as a candidate. 5 mins within sending that

letter I received a call requesting another meeting so that they could provide me an offer letter. Umm I ACCEPTED!!!!

3. Friday night was a celebration night at the Stampede grounds (cheating horribly and now I’m gonna pay for that)

4. Saturday weighed in at 127.2- So I’m down 2 LBS!! WOOT WOOT That means no change to the diet or cardio this week.

5. Monday I handed in my 2 weeks resignation and also found out my parents bought a house in Alberta and will be here in 23 days!!! WAY COOL!!

6. Today I meet my nutritionist for a reality check and body fat test… eeeck. I’m a little nervous to say the least. Guilt from Friday’s celebration has kicked in.

Okay so now it’s time to re-focus on the competition training. I have a lot on the go but need to be more strict on myself about the road ahead. I have started

questioning if I will do this next show. With a new job that demands me to be away 1 week out of every month I wonder how strong I will be at completing all my

work outs and staying on top of my meals. Perhaps I should postpone the October show to settle into my new job (focus on building more muscle) and then aim

for a show in March 2009. I’m torn and not too sure which way to go about this. I already know for sure I’m going to be leaving for a week in September on a conference.

The stress of that alone freaks me right out. Decisions, decisions, decisions. Until I have made a final decision I’m still sticking to my diet and training.

13.5 weeks until show time!

Stay Tuned…

MISSB

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Cravings…

Wednesday, July 9th, 2008

July 9th 2008

1.5 weeks down…14.5 to go…

Today’s been fine, got a decent nights sleep last night…yada yada yada. BORING!

So just a few minutes ago I had a wicked craving for sugar. My mind started racing with thoughts about traveling downstairs (work building) and buying some candies from the ever so convenient ”Convenient Store”. Ha… instead I reach for a single pack of Crystal Light Cherry Pomegranate (my new fav) to add to my water and a container with Sugar Free Inferno Gum. Hmm choices I tell yah… So I throw 2 pieces of gum into my mouth. AHHH RELIEF!!!

I then instantly message my buddy who is also dieting down for the exact show telling him about my stupid sugar craving. His response is one that shocked and amazed me. I know it’s common sense but it hit me really hard. Side Note: He is a recovering addict, 2 years clean!!!

So he says: ” Wanna know what I do when I have a craving for drugs or alcohol? Of course I said YES, TELL ME!!

So he says: ~ ” Well I’m not responsible for the thoughts that I have….such as… It sure would be nice to have a drink or a line right now… but I am responsible for the action on that thought. I can choose to not do it. Treat it as just a thought and that’s it. Don’t have to do anything about it nor obsess over it either. I feel much better knowing that I’m going to have these thoughts…once I’ve accepted that…when they come, I just smile and know that I don’t have to cave in if I don’t want to.”~

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So obviously this logic isn’t as severely needed in contest dieting mode versus an recovering addict mode but why not apply the basics of it anyhow? Accept that while dieting for a show or photo shoot you will have cravings…this thought will enter your mind…ALOT! It may even consume your life for a short time. So accept it and blow it off as just a thought. It is what it is, I have total control of my actions. So for now… I will indulge my cravings with thoughts and truly enjoy the high of not acting on those thoughts. For I now see that the rewards are far greater.

Stay tuned,

MissB

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July 8th

Tuesday, July 8th, 2008

Today is fantastic!! I slept in today and was a little late for work but damn I felt good when I got up. FINALLY caught up on some much needed sleep.

I was supposed to have an interview today but that has now been postponed to Thursday. Kind of works out for me since I don’t really have my head in the game nor have I even prepped for the interview.

No complaints meal wise. Ate all my meals yesterday and downed more then 5 litres of water. Yuppie!! I’m getting better at drinking all my water even though I feel as though I’m spending the majority of my day taking pee breaks! LOL ~ WATER LOGGED ANYONE?!?

Pumped for today’s work out…CHEST! DAY! Oh how I love training chest!!!

Right after work I will dash off to the gym, then meal prep and then hopefully put myself to bed early. I want to keep myself feeling refreshed and being tired all the time is not the way to go.

Thanks all for now. Stay tuned!

~Miss B

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STRESSED MUCH!?!

Monday, July 7th, 2008

Well where to start…how about the fact that I’m super stressed out and feel a good cry coming on at any point.

1st off my home computer is messed up big time. I’ve had a massive virus and can’t access email or internet on the weekends.

I’m supposed to send my nutritionist my weight every Saturday and have not been able to do because of this virus. I am only able to access my email on work days.

So today at work I get to check my email and find a very short email from my nutritionist asking what my problem is with sending him my weight although I’ve explained the situation to him the previous week. I also did not have his new cell number and didn’t have a way to reach him. Anyways, not a good email to start off my Monday morning.

2nd I’m stressed about my weight… seems like its going up every week instead of down. I know I’m not supposed to worry about weight but seriously I am getting concerned. I don’t think I’m getting leaner… and truly believe I’m gaining more FAT!!!! I weighed at a WHOPPING 129.2LBS!!!!!!!

3rd I have an interview tomorrow and I can’t seem to get my game face on. I do not feel prepared at all.

4th I’m not sleeping. Although an attempt was made to get to bed at reasonable hour last night, I simply could not turn off my brain. I tossed and turned and kept thinking of all the above!! I’m so tired and running on low now. What happened to my high mood and optimistic outlook I had last week??? This may have contributed to my bad mood this morning and didn’t take to well to an interrogating email from my nutritionist. I’m feeling very irritable and ready to snap at the next person who says two words to me. Umm can I say BIO POLAR!!! Geez… I’ll be sure to take my frustration out at the gym today and hopefully relieve some stress. Thinking about picking up some holy basil too as I hear it works wonders for the seriously stressed.

5th I’m not able to post progress pics as of yet. Again this is due to my virus on my home PC and I refuse to load any pics on my work computer. (sorry guys) Probably not the best idea to load pictures of yourself in a bikini on your corporate work computer! Ha!

6th Financial costs for this next show!! $$$$ Trying to keep it low but still think it’s time to pick up a part time job to counter balance the expensive of comp prep. This isn’t for the weak so I must do what I can to stay on top of the bills and anticipate hiccups.

On a good note I met my choreographer on Saturday for the first time. MAN AM I PUMPED about my FIGURE ROUTINE. It’s not all worked out yet but we bounced around some pretty great ideas for my routine. He tested my balance, strength and flexibility and was ecstatic to figure out that I still had some old gymnastics skills left in me. WOOT WOOT. After our hour session I was feeling pumped!! I immediately hit the cardio machines and worked it out!! I’m thinking Saturdays will be the only enjoyment I get out of the next 15 weeks.

That’s it for now… hopefully my mood changes soon. I’m working on that now as we speak. =)

Stay tuned..

MISSB

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Friday, July 4th Update

Friday, July 4th, 2008

FIRST NOTE: Happy Independence Day to my US peeps!!

Okay so yesterday’s cardio was a millions times better then Wednesdays. I was feeling fantastic and ready to conquer the world…must have been the maca powder I had downed right before. Trained chest and was disappointed that I had to drop most of my weights by 10 LBS!! Man I feel weak. Although, on a positive note I’m still very sore.

I’ll get my strength back but it will take a little time.

I’m feeling pretty good about the next 15 weeks of dieting but then every so often I question why I’ve chosen to be diet through the best time of the year…SUMMER. Umm hello! This is patio time, cocktails, BBQ and camping season. I know, I know…it’s just food/alcohol. My life isn’t over and when it all boils down, I know that I’m really not missing out on much. Who says I can’t have a great time without all the bad food and sugar loaded alcohol right! And besides, I can always have a small glass of wine once a week with my cheat meal if desperately needed. It will be a struggle but I know that I am stronger this time around and my goals are more defined with a clear vision of a fitter, leaner ME!

So Stampede has started… YUPPIE! My fav time of year in Calgary. The other fantastic news is that my family is moving to Alberta this August. I can’t even explain how incredibly excited I am to have my family within driving distance instead of an expensive 5 hour flight away. YUPPIE!! I’ve said this before in a previous blog, I truly believe that 2008 is going to be a pretty fantastic year for me. I’ve already completed my first goal of competing; there is possibilities of a new career is on the horizon (details to follow at a later date) and most importantly my family will be close once again. To add to what I already call a successful year is that I am pushing myself harder then ever to compete for the second time this year. Check my head, I may have the competition bug. =)

So I was thinking about reasons as to why I’m doing this next show. My first show was dedicated to my sister Ashley who just had her beautiful son Braiden in March. I was there to witness the miracle of my nephew being born and admired the strength my sister showed throughout the labour and delivery. Her strength and determination still wows me to this day and also inspires me to keep going. Nothing I face can compare to the amount of exhausting that she experienced. So I’m thinking that this time around I will be doing this show entirely for myself. I will be turning 26 five days before the show. Why not celebrate turning 26 in the best shape of my life (without cake and ice cream). Also adding to this will be the fact that I will actually follow through with my goal to compete in figure. So here’s to me and turning 26 in the BEST SHAPE OF MY LIFE! (woot woot)

New Goals I’ve added to my previous list:

1.) Document meals, moods and workouts.

2.) Take progress pics every single week and post them on BB.com

3.) Weigh in every Saturday and email them to my nutritionist.

4.) No cheats except on the designated cheat day/once per week.

5.) To not miss a single workout or cardio session!!

6.) To be less cranky throughout the process as I realize this is my lifestyle choice.

*7.) Drink all 5-6 litres of water per day

*8.) To not miss a single meal each day (often enough I miss meal 6)

*9.) To drop at least a pound a week but wouldn’t mind at least 2 (wink wink)

Start Weight: (June 28th ) 128.6 LBS. Approx 18.5% body fat

Goal Stage Weight (October 18th) 110 LBS or lower . Approx 10% or lower body fat.

Weigh in tomorrow morning and picture time so stay tuned. I’m off to do some cow tipping. =)

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Thursday July 3rd

Thursday, July 3rd, 2008

Small update on the diet & training so far….

A few days in and no complaints as of yet.Well except for this… Since I’ve been relaxing and stuffing my face the last couple of weeks and while being on anti-biotics, I never realized how much I was weakening my muscles or how out of shape I was becoming.

Last nights shoulder exercises was absolutely brutal! I had to drop my weight from 5-10 LBS!! I felt so weak and a little embarrased at times. I know it won’t take long to build back up to what I can lift but it just goes to show what happens when you take too much time off. Lesson learned!

Ran into one of my fav comp peeps JV! So nice to see you this morning and so awesome to have you dieting through the summer with me. We can do this!

Saturday I will weigh in and take pics to post for comp progress (won’t be pretty). I am also meeting my choreographer at 8am for the very first time. I am commited to competing in figure so I better get started on my routine ASAP.

That’s it for now…stay tuned.

Miss B

xox

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16 WEEKS OUT!!!

Monday, June 30th, 2008

Well here I go again….16 weeks out from show time.

Show: FAME CANADIAN NATIONALS - October 18th 2008 - - Calgary Alberta

Saturday June 28th I weighed in… at a WOOPING 128.2 LBS!!! How the hell did I get so big!! Yikes. =(

Well let me be honest here… I haven’t been following my diet very closely. (not at all) I’ve indulged WAY too many times. I’ve hardly meet my water quota each day and lack any sort of supplements or vitamins. I battled bronchitis a few weeks ago with a full round of anti-biotics and now find myself sick (yet again) with a nasty sinus infection. I’m now taking my second round of anti-biotics in 3 weeks. Health wise I feel terrible. Time to get back at it and re-focus my goals. Stress has been a major impact on my moods, food cravings, and the lack of motivation but the onus still lies on me and the honest truth is that I’ve been ridiculously lazy to take proper care of myself and my body.

Yes I think it will be extremely hard to diet through the summer but I’m staying optimistic and believe I can do anything I put my mind to.

So I think I would like to see myself drop 20 LBS in 16 weeks or drop my body fat to 9%. Not sure what my body fat is at the moment but I’m sure it’s higher then it was a few weeks ago. I have a diet in hand and now look forward to my body fat test by my nutritionist on July 12th. In the meantime I will work my butt off so I can start feeling better about myself and back to liking my body.

I’m hoping to rock another fantastic photo shoot with my fav photographer JULIET_VIRGO and kick some butt at my show in October. Which I would like everyone to know is exactly 5 days AFTER my birthday. I plan on swimming in post competition birthday cake! HA! =) I will not chicken out this time and I will see to it that I compete in Figure and perhaps one of the model categories but not sure if it should be Muscle Model or Fitness Model. I can always decide later on and closer to the show date. BUT the number one focus and category will be FIGURE!!

Here are my goals for the next 16 weeks:

1.) Document Meals, moods and workouts.

2.) Take progress pics every single week and post them on BB.com

3.) Weigh in every Saturday and email them to my nutritionist.

4.) Not cheats except on the designated cheat day/once per week.

5.) To not miss a single workout or cardio session!!

6.) To be less cranky throughout the process as I realize this is my lifestyle choice.

7.) …well this is it for now but I’m sure I’ll add more as they come up.

**Just wanted to add one of my favourite poems. Seems to fit almost any circumstance or situation that I face. Hope you enjoy

Until next time… stay tunes. Progress pics coming soon.

AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS

by Portia Nelson

Chapter I

I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk

I fall in.

I am lost … I am helpless.

It isn’t my fault.

It takes me forever to find a way out.

Chapter II

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend I don’t see it.

I fall in again.

I can’t believe I am in the same place but, it isn’t my fault.

It still takes me a long time to get out.

Chapter III

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I see it is there.

I still fall in … it’s a habit.

My eyes are open, I know where I am.

It is my fault.

I get out immediately.

Chapter IV

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it.

Chapter V

I walk down another street.

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15 and 14 weeks out…

Thursday, June 5th, 2008

May 24th I met my nutritionist for a reality check… what kind of damage had I done since stepping on stage at my very lowest weight of 114LBS???

It wasn’t as bad as I thought but it still hurts a little when you no longer see yourself at competition weight. I am by no means a big girl so even a small 5 LBS gain is obvious to anyone that has eyes. I weighed in at 126.4 and 18.9% Body Fat! OUCH!!! That hurts… time to get my butt back in gear. I was given a new nutrition plan to follow and a new workout routine to follow. I was still undecided if I will compete at the Sept 6th show in Van show so we decided to pretend like I was 15 weeks out just in case I do end up deciding to step on stage earlier then my planned show in October.

My goal is to be 110LBS on stage and under 10% BF. Time to target my trouble area…LEGS & GLUTES! Yes folks that means lots of plyo’s. UGH! I really need to change my outlook about training legs or I will forever hate training them. I would love to make leg day my favourite training day…or to at least enjoy it half as much as I enjoy training chest, shoulders and bi’s.

I completed a two day Isagenix Cleanse to clear out my system and give my system a boost. Great cleanse as it’s only lasts for 2 days but I did find myself fairly hungry throughout those two days. It was oooh sooo enjoyable to eat my oatmeal and egg whites on Monday morning!!

Felt good about getting back to comp dieting and training. My body now reacts quicker to change so it was nice to see a few pounds drop off right away. I will continue to bulk as I diet down by supplementing with Kre-Alkalyn, Nitrix and BCCA’s. First week back on diet was FABULOUS!!!

Second week (May 30th) I come down with Bronchitis…DAMN! This is the third time I’ve had it this fall/winter/spring season. I was finally given some super duty anti-biotics to hopefully kick it for good. Never had this kind of anti-biotics before so it must be taken with food otherwise you are left with nausea and massive stomach pains. I decided to let my body recover and have taken the last week to rest and have stayed away from the gym. GRRRR!!! I am looking forward to finishing my anti-biotics this weekend so I can start kicking butt in the gym again this Sunday. I’ve just been aching to get back in the gym but I realize how important it is to let your body fully recover or else end up paying the consequences again later on.

So that’s it for now… not much else to report. Wishing all my peeps who are competing this weekend at the ABBA Northerns the best of luck. I’m rooting for you guys.

Stay tuned…

MissB

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