Now I just need to get some thoughts out of my head.  I was reading a book the other day and the author wrote something very interesting.  He was writing about patients who suffer chronic pain and was pointing to psychological factors that could possibley be one of the greatest causes of pain.  He also talked about other health problems that could be entirely mental in some patients, such as nausea and certain epidemics.  He wrote about an outbreak of stress injuries that occurred in people who had to type for their job.  Once the injury was reported and came into the public eye, the amount of people sufferring from it sky-rocketed.  He said that after a few years the epidemic passed, like a fad that had died almost as quickly as it had formed.  He said that people who suffered extreme-nausea, such as chemo patients and pregnant women, often suffered nausea from external triggers that reminded them of the nausea and how they got it.  Chemo patients would vomit in anticipation of recieving their medication, before the poison was even in their body.  One man would vomit simply by seeing the sign on the freeway for the exit that lead to the hospital. 

The stories fascinated me and got me to start wondering how many other problems are really just "in our heads."  One thing that really stuck in my mind was the thing that affects me on a daily basis; drowsiness.  I’m almost always struck with the afternoon slump that seems to affect most people.  It seems to be popular, an affliction that has gained public light as something that happens to everyone; we get tired somewhere between lunch and dinner.  The more I think about it the more I convince myself that there is no physical reason for the sleepiness.  I feel that because it has been recognized that more people "think" they suffer from this condition, and as a result they convince their brains to emulate the symptoms, causing drowsiness.  There is no reason why any normal person should become tired halfway through the day.  If everything else is in order (a full night of sleep, proper exercise, diet, etc.) then why should we feel like we need to sleep again in the middle of the way, with the sun shining bright and plenty of things needint to be done?  Why would this trait be evolutionarily advantageous?  I see no reason for the symptom other than social stigma.  Like the stress injury that people suffered, I believe sleepiness is simply a mental affliction with no physical cause whatsoever. 

Now I have to ask myself, "if that’s the case, then how do I break the pattern?  How do I convince my brain that I am suffering from something that does not exist?"  Does simply realizing that this might be mental be enough to fix the problem?  Or will it take a deeper and more involved process of convincing my brain that I am not really tired?  I’m not really sure how I can do it but I’m determined to find a way. 

I can continue on this later, I’m going to the gym right now.  wish me luck!

I’ve also gone from one end of the spectrum to the other in regards to diet.  This is probably a little more common for most people.  Before you take a step to make things better, you couldn’t care less about what you put into your body, and then you start caring.  Next thing you know, you’re counting every single calory, obsessing over every little meal, not allowing yourself to eat that nacho out of fear of going 23 calories over your limit and thinking "it will turn into a pound of fat overnight, I can’t touch it!"  And we think we need to keep this up in order to see an 8-pack and that’s when things get dangerous.  I’m not afraid to admit that I’ve had cycles where I become manic about my meal plan and end up caving and benging on around 6000 calories worth of all the junk I’ve depraved myself from.  And while I’m benging I’ll throw in some fruit or something else I know will help process everything, it’s a more natural form of "benging and purging" but it is nonetheless a form of a mild psychological break-down.  Some people can go very far and develop disorders and do this on a more regular basis.  But when I did I was so scared that I just threw the whole diet out and let myself eat as much as I felt like I needed (still healthy food, just more of it.)  And what do you know?  I’ve gained some serious muscle since then, only a little bit of fat, much more strength, much more confidence, and a lot less guilt over "cheat-foods" or anything like that. 

The gym is great and I’m so glad I’ve found it, but I won’t let it get to me if I have to miss a day or something else gets in the way.  It is not my top priority, and I don’t feel like it ever should be.  I think there are more important things in life.  I want to find some sort of balance in order to do other important things, like socializing, dating, spending time with family, while getting the fitness benefits.  Take the family out for a hike, ask her on a bike ride.  Get the best of both worlds.  I think it’s unhealthy to shape your entire life around the gym, to plan ahead and make sure nothing interferes with your hour of seclusion from the world.  During that time we’re plugged into your ipods, cut off from everyone else.  That is the definition of anti-social behavior, and it should not be labeled as the best part of our day.  It’s good to get excited about it, but get excited about the results of it, what happens after it’s over.  Use that excitement to go out and make friends, ask that barista out you’ve always had a crush on.  The hour in the gym is good but it’s very small and insignicant, enjoy the rest of the day and get your head out of the gym for it!

For deadlifts I plan on hitting 275, 5 times.  Military press is 120, 5 times…  I’m going for pullups with a 25 lb plate, 5 times.  Oh yes, it will be great!  I’m feeling really strong and really confident this morning.  I can see the lifts in my head as I visualize them going well. 

I’m feeling pretty strong today so I should have an excellent workout.  I have to remember to do some things that have always helped me run these long hilly runs in the past.  I have to completely disconnect my mind from my body.  I can’t pay attention to the pain because then I’ll give in.  Sometimes focusing on my form can help this, but at the same time that can hurt me because it puts my mind directly on my body’s opperation.  Besides I’m at the point where my form is pretty much automatic.  Paying attention to the music that’s playing always really helps, that’s a freebee.  If that doesn’t work then I start counting my steps, but not just straight.  I count "1-2-1-2, 1-2-3-4-1-2-3-4, 1-2-3-4-5-6-1-2-3-4-5-6" and I see how high I can get before I lose count.  That little trick helped me really push myself to tackle several big hills without taking any breaks.  My legs felt like jell-o afterwards, but it was a great trick.  The only problem with that is that it’s incredibly boring. 

Now I’ll do some recapping.  This last week was awesome.  I did 6×4 and was able to hit some heavy numbers.  Can’t remember right now but they’re in my workout tracker.  The strength training is really making a huge difference with my body-weight movements.  I was cranking out one-armed pushups and pullups like they were nothing.  I did 11 one-armed pushups (each arm) and 10 or 11 pullups (slow and clean, every rep from dead hang and chin above bar, only a little jerking on the last couple of reps.)  I noticed yesterday at the park also I was able to take shorter breaks.  My endurance work is really paying off; I was able to make the workout very dense and didn’t feel like puking (that much.)  I like this because the more dense I can make the workout, the shorter I can make it and the quicker I can just get in and out. 

Ok this is good, I’m going for the run now….

Anyway, the numbers are going to be great today.  I didn’t run yesterday and just ate a lot of food to prepare for this morning’s workout.  Yesterday would have normally been mile repeats but I skipped it.  I just feel like maybe I’m spending too much time on long distance running.  I’ve decided that I need to be a little bit more specific with my goals.  You can train for strength and endurance this year, just not at the same time.  It’s been proven that different muscle fiber types are involved in either of those activity and training for both causes an interference, hampering muscle and strength gains.  So I think for now I’m just going for muscle and strength, I’ll focus on endurance later.  I guess it would make sense to make endurance training synonymous with "cutting." 

So yes!  Today is all about strength!  Pushing and pulling as much weight as possible.  What I’m really excited about is doing overhead squats.  I’m planning on hitting a personal best.  The heaviest I’ve ever done was 135 lbs and that was with 8 reps, now I’m on 5!  I’ll be happy if I just put another 5 lbs on each side.  I don’t want to go to heavy and be forced to stop before my upper legs are parallel to the ground, that’s bad news.

Then I’m doing a close grip, palms in, incline dumbbell press and the opposite pull.  I’m thinking weighted close palms OUT chinups.  For those I’m looking at 55 lb dumbbells and at least 25 lbs on the chins. 

Ok, this is good.  Wish me luck!  (good luck me!)

I’m feeling very energetic today.  I had plenty of good food yesterday and last night to fuel this workout.  I had a midnight snack before I went to bed: A little spaghetti, a banana, and milk.  Talk about fueling the metabolism before bedtime!  Ok wish me luck (good luck me.)

So today (this is exciting) is Deadlifts, a variation of crunches, military press, and weighted pullups.

I’m really excited about the deads and weighted pullups.  Can’t wait to see how well I can push myself on those.  Deads will be at least 265.  I haven’t done weighted pullups for a while but I think at least 20 lbs will be manageable for 5 reps. 

Wish me luck!!!!!!!!!!

Speaking of running, I’m trying something that few have done before.  I’m semi-focusing on improving my long distance stamina while still maintaining some sprint training and weight lifting.  Most would say that the training types contradict eachother but I don’t care.  I just feel like if I eat enough food I’ll be all right.  I’m doing that because I do what I enjoy, and I enjoy all of it. 

Today is weights, sagital upper body with overhead squats and russian twists on a decline bench.  I’m really amped to see what I can do with the OH sqauts at 4 reps.  I’m looking forward to something like a plate and a dime (155.)  It’s kinda scary, we’ll see….