miked512’s BodyBlog

Never write blogs when you’re half asleep.

People don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.  You won’t even be able to understand the majority of it.  Your posting will be brain dead stupid.

 Then people will laugh at you and you’ll laugh at yourself.  Or well, for those of you with no willpower, you’ll commit suicide by either playing in traffic or one of the myriad of methods listed here.

 http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=manly_suicide

This is one of those deductions that my boy Marcus really hates.  I hate that I’m coming up with this now, but this is what happens when you wake up at 3 in the morning to piss and you realize, you’re not happy.

Why would I even believe oatmeal is the problem?  Because Charles Poliquin says the majority of people he works with are allergic to oats in general.  Also, because I feel like shit right now and this is the only new old thing I’ve reintroduced into my diet.

This morning (Saturday) I woke up, feeling great,  better than ever.  I’ve been like this all week.  For the past few months, the only type of oatmeal I’ve eaten has been Quaker steel cut oats which is by far, the best oatmeal i’ve ever tasted.  This means I’ve only eaten it all of 2 times this month as I actually have too cook the stuff.  This week, I’ve also been refraining from the majority of grains.  Well, today … I ate a nice bowl of oatmeal for breakfast and one post workout and what do you know … the following has happened.

1) I’m not feeling nearly as wonderful or as alpha as I have been for the past week.  As a matter of fact, I’m feeling quite gamma right now.  By the way, gammas contribute absolutely nothing to a society but enjoys its rewards.
2) I’m holding got-damned water

3) I’m feeling fat and bloated and my mind tends to wander on to the wrong things

Oh well, time to sleep and come up with breakfast for the morning.  Hhhhhmmm… no idea right now.

This is a new segment that provides commentary on new exercises I see at the gyms I go to.  This would be quite educational, but since these are travesties, then its probably more humorous than educational.  Before I start, you might wonder why don’t I go correct them?  Experience has taught me that personal trainers know all, lifters know all, and I get mad as hell when someone interrupts my workout talking about form.  I listen though but do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

The first exercise to be listed in the travesty section is the Squat Morning.  I first encountered this exercise at Metro Fitness on Metropolitan Parkway.  At any rate, the description is as follows.

Squat Morning

Exercise Data
Main Muscle Worked: Quadriceps, Lower Back
Other Muscles Worked: Hamstrings, Calves, Glutes
Equipment: Barbell
Mechanics Type: Compound

Execution: Position a barbell on the back of the shoulders and grasp bar to the sides. Put your feet at shoulder width with your toes and knees slightly pointed outwards. Descend until knees and hips are at quarter to half depth. Bend hips to lower torso forward until parallel to the floor or below.       Raise torso until hips are extended. Repeat.  If you hear a popping noise, you’ve successfully executed one rep.