Meegan’s BodyBlog

I have 52 days in being smoke free and it has been an EXTREMELY challenging period in my life.  You wouldn’t think something so small like cigarettes could have such a huge impact on your life!  I get terrible headaches and this emotional roller coaster has me thinking, "Am I being paranoid, or are people truly out to get me?"  I well up with tears daily, sometimes several times a day, and even find myself sobbing uncontrollably.  Working out has become a good release, but I hope I’m not replacing one vice for another.  I probably picked the WORST time to bulk up from an emotional standpoint…..

After 20 years, I smoked my last cigarette ringing in the 2008 New Year!  I’m almost two weeks cigarette free and I’m having a real hard time.  I’m using “Nicorette” gum which is helping with the cravings, but this is a LOT harder than I thought it would be.  Granted I indulged over the holidays, but I’ve put a good 10 pounds on and I’m not liking it at all!  You would think this road to health and fitness would put a person on cloud 9, but I’m the complete opposite.  I feel such a lack of self-esteem (probably because I cry in front of the mirror right now) and am experiencing such a roller-coaster of highs and lows.  I’m giving myself a week of extreme clean eating, mega-doses of vitamins, and maybe a tanning session or two to help me through this.  Keep your fingers crossed for me!