mdrane’s BodyBlog

It is winding down here at work and I am sitting down for my “break” 30 min before we close.  I’ll be out of here in an hour and a half and I find myself trying to time when I drink my sugar free red bull I have stashed in one of the coolers.  I’m going to the gym when I leave here because my wife’s car is in the shop and she will need mine in the morning to go to school.  So as not to inconvenience her I will be the idiot in the gym running miles, doing box jumps, and sweating out every piece of lettuce I ate today, while the rest of this town roll over in their sleep and burps up pizza.  

I don’t have a problem being that guy.  I’m that guy at work, I’m that guy amongst my friends, I’m even that guy at home.  But is being that guy really getting me anywhere?  I’m still working two jobs.  I’m still to scared to call up my photographer friend to get in there and take some pics of me.  I’m still taking one class at a time to try to get this stupid MBA.  I’m just still.  I’m doing lots of movement and all of it feels like forward steps but am I taking a million forward steps in a million different races?? 

I think this is the lack of carbs talking.  I’m sure I will deny ever writing this in two weeks but it’s what’s on my mind right now.  I’m so excited about my progress at work, at the gym, in class, and even in my home but sometimes doing for self gets tiring.  It would be nice to get some type of reward.  A thank you, a good job, a RAISE, or even a keep it up the light at the end of the tunnel is getting closer and “BOY IS IT A DUSSIE”! 

As an admitted meat head at heart, I can honestly say I thought I had more muscle underneath all the fat I was carrying.  I would tell myself “that guy weighs how much?  He must not have as much muscle as me.”  Well it turns out he probably did.  I hit my goal weight today and I am not even close to satisfied. My midsection looks how I would expect it to look mid bulking phase.  True…I don’t do abs.  (Save the lecture, never have, never will.)  But still.  I have quite a bit of love tube wrapped around my mid section and I want it gone before I start putting weight on. 
This is a two way street. 
1.  I’m mad that I had to realize I wasn’t what I thought I was.
2.  I’m more to determined to get there now.
 
So all and all it’s a win/win, but it still stings a little bit.
 
Signed,
Your 204lb. fat guy
 

I haven’t barbell bench pressed in over a month now.  Over that month I have dropped 15 lbs.  I thought it would be funny to see how many times I could rep my current bodyweight (208).  I did it for 27 cause I was the only person in the gym and didn’t want to chance it.  I thought it was funny!

You?

My workout partner from 300 miles away was in town last Saturday.  Killed my diet!  Then I went to an amusement park with the kids Sunday…Killed my diet.  Since then 3 days ultra clean and 2 lbs down.  I think that at this point I’m so focused on eating clean that when my mind is guilty that I’m cheating my body is telling me that I’m still doing good enough to keep the fat coming off! 

This week I started my Aug. Plan.  Drop sets, Super sets, and rest of 60 sec first week, 50 sec second week, 40 sec third week, and 30 sec fourth.  I know my fat will like it I hope my shoulders will take it as some time off.  I’ve been doing 60 seconds this week and my pride is already taking a hit on the weight, so I’m sure by the end of the month I will be at a weighted cardio.  That should give my shoulders some time to not have to fight the meat head in me (the 1000 pound gorilla in the room)! 

It pretty amazing that my weight progress chart shows when I went the recless abandon route on my weight gaining and the carb cutting route on my weight loss.  Almost to the day.  Nice gradual lines and then BAMMM!!!  And my pictures show the same thing.  Looking kinda one way and then BAMMM!!!  Drastic change in the other direction. 

I guess there are two morals to this story. 

1.  I am a classic mesomorph.  I can gain it or lose it probably easier than most.

2.  BodySpace is ingenious for creating this platform!

I went in today just to move a little weight around since I took most of the week off with the gym being closed.  I did my warm up and tried to super set incline dumbell press with double bent over dumbell rows 15 reps apiece.  I was only using 15 pounds and my shoulders (yes both of them) really didn’t like it.  I had to stop and go do calfs for a while (they could always use the attention).  Maybe I was giving my shoulder more credit than it deserves.  Maybe I’ll be on the shelf longer than I thought.  I’ll just keep cutting until I can bulk again.  If I can’t be big I’ll just have to be the biggest little guy in the room!!!

P.S.  7.5 days clean eating, but its time to carb up.  I got some Lasagna in the fridge waiting for me and no it not turkey and yes its loaded with cheese.  I’ll just double the cardio tomorrow!

The scale said 213.5 today.  I’m not entering it until it says it 3 days in a row but Da^^it is said it.  The routine is starting to settle in and cooking ahead of time is really making it easy.  The fact that so much of my time is taken up by trying to finish this Inc. in the stupid class I took 2 years ago doesn’t give me time to crave.  I wrote out Aug. work out plan and I’ll be hitting everything twice a week.  A lot of dropsets and cardio everywork out.  To get the workouts done in the amount of time I have I’ll have to go at about 60-70 seconds rest (big change from my 2-3 min).  I know my ego is going to take an even bigger shoot with the numbers I’ll be putting up but maybe some abs will make it worth while.  I haven’t been this close to abs in 6.5 years!!!!! 

Lets get it done!

I’m huuunnnnngry!

I have eaten everything clean possible in this place and I’m starving.  I can’t wait to get home.  My wife made my chicken for the week last night and I will probably be eating it before I even put my keys down.

205 here I come!!!

3.5 days clean and getting easier!  I made it through the weekend which is my hard part.  I am awake, bored, and around food (not to mention alcohol) for twice as long as during the week.  But I made it.  My weak point was eating 6 peanuts out of sheer bordum.

P.S. Someone called me "Skinny" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Since when?!

Day 1 of eating clean has been completed.  I will continue to countdown, right here on Bodyspace for all to see, the consecutive days that I am able to eat clean.

I will see 205lbs!