mdrane’s BodyBlog

Year End Review

2008 is over.  And for the first time in my life I’m going to take the time to stop and reflect on the year past.

Overall 2008 was a success.  The 1000 pound gorilla in the room (Junior’s Sickle Cell) has really been put into his cage at the moment.  Today makes 17 weeks without a blood transfusion and a total return of his spleen to its original size!!!!  I could stop writing now.  When it all boils down that’s the part that really matters.

That being said I will do the remaining portions of my life due justice.

My Marriage:

In 2008 we truly matured as a couple.  This was the first year that tragedy of some sort wasn’t the underlying tie that binded us.  Until 2008 there has always been some grand situation that has forced us to drop our individuality and work as a unit.  In 2008 (and most likely as a result of all those past experiences) we noticed a true comfortableness in our roles in the marriage.  Although I entered it thinking that I had found someone strong enough to allow me to not have to be in charge in my home life, which is not what is best for my family.  In fact, I have found the exact opposite to be true.  The fact that I am the Alpha Male in all other aspects of my life is a personal responsibility and gratification.  It is being that Alpha Male/Husband/Father in my home that I should and now do take the most pride in.  And subsequently get the most joy/reward from.

My Day Job:

2008 also saw me finally come into my own as the manager of my unit.  I have done the homework necessary to gain my (206) students respect.  And shown myself consistently willing to do the dirty work enough for my (22) classified/adult workers.  In addition I have become upper managements go to guy.  Although this is frustrating because there is a GM in my building that get paid a lot more than me to get the job done, upper management has truly noticed that if they want it done efficiently to go through me.  Not to discredit my superior at all.  I often go to him for his opinion or to draw on his experience but the execution and implementation of things are where I’m strong and the auditing of the overall operation is where he is.

Although this has been professionally very gratifying it has not protected me from the backlash of our country’s economic state.  I did have a reduction in my contract that will lead to a significant pay cut.  Luckily do to the terms of the contract they notify me in Dec of the change that won’t go into effect until July.  So between now and then I have to bust my butt to find supplemental income.  That I have no problem with I’m always willing to find a hustle but the insurance for Junior was a major concern.  With this change in my contract we will still be covered 12 months out of the year.  The income I can make up.  The insurance is the necessity!

My Night Job:

After 7 years on the job and a year as the head of security I took a demotion.  At the time my increased work load at my day job had me relatively stressed.  That compiled with my home life and the re-addition of school to my load left me with a serious lack of respect for my night job.  Over the years I have gone from the absolute youngest employee on staff to one of “the old guys”.  The differences maturity levels between me and my staff was so blaringly obvious that I started to noticeably distance myself from them and that was beginning to affect my ability to lead.  Couple all of this with the fact that the only “bar-back” with more experience than I returned and was back in the mix of getting the priority shifts.  Stepping down and getting into the stress free realm of strictly bartending has turned out to be a blessing…PAY CUT…but a blessing.

My Schooling:

I finally broke down and started taking my MBA courses again.  The first time I started was when Junior’s Sickle Cell first started giving us problems.  The constant in and out of the hospital turned the semester into a total failure.  With things a lot more settled 2 years later I restarted my quest for my MBA and was quite successful in the Managerial Accounting course I enrolled in.

My Second Home:

Without question 2008 will be remembered most for my progress in fitness.  This is the same year that I made the idiot (blessing) of a decision to try power lifting to shock my body out of the plateau it had been on.  100 pound Arnold Presses and a 420 pound bench later my shoulder’s tendenosis had me unable to lift for 3 months.  Luckily this was about the same time that I really started paying attention to BodySpace.  I made the decision to get into the ab wars instead of sitting and moping about not being able to lift.  T

This decision led to me learning more about nutrition than I had ever thought about before.  As a meathead all I knew (cared about of course I know the science behind nutrition) was that the more I ate the bigger and stronger I could get.  With the goal of taking some pics that I could be proud of in the presence of the SteveP’s, JPhillips’, SuperMaine’s, and DeborahAnn’s of the world I set out on a dieting and cardio regiment.  This taught me a lot about my own body.  Until this point I never thought I would be able to run again due to my chronic knee pain and subsequent failures for surgeries.  I never would have thought that I would be running sub 6 minute miles on a treadmill!!  I also never thought that I could change my eating habits enough to reveal a couple ab muscles.  I hadn’t did abs since high school sports (and didn’t even through this process).  But there they were just as plain as the eyes could see.

And that process is what led me to where I am now.  Making contact with the people listed above as well as many others (ShanBL, FitMeg08, Mamaof2, gemmaleigh, miked512, niknak, chicana_peach, topchop90, VA’sFinest, momof8,one9one4, jumper11, sol4real, dnsigma, jencan, etc…) I became part of a little community that turned out to be more than just a random bunch people that happened to have a shared interest.  We are able to constantly joke with each other (some of these peoples wit’s are the fastest I’ve ever come across and I LOVE IT).  Exchange stories and support over the unique problems being fitness minded introduces to everyday life, as well as the common ground that a lot of our unique lives have with our spouses, friends, sick/non-stop kid issues, as well as just the normal day to day of life.
What really excites me is that there are a ton of people who respect me enough to constantly (Meg) ask me fitness questions and in turn if I don’t know the answer there are a ton of people whom I respect enough to pose the question to them!!!  I found my place where I’m not the Alpha Male.  I’m respected…but I’m far from the best.  That fuels my determination and my drive.
 

Cellucor:
Never would have thought in a million years that there would be a company that felt that I could benefit them as much as they could benefit me.  With Cellucor I have found a company that has a great product that is driven by its science and customer service my two favorite aspects of any business.  I am making contact with a lot of people because of it and the progress the product is adding to my own body make the product so easy to talk about and stay excited about!!
 

Training:
All of this kinda sums up to the fact that I am going to once again begin training.  I have renewed my passion for fitness, and a series of unfortunate events has presented the need and the opportunity for me to find a transferable source of income.  With my past experience, my love of research and self experimentation (Bruce Banner, LOL), and my secret weapon (he knows who he is), I feel like I’m geared to take the necessary steps to really make something of this.
 

Arnold:
If your reading this and have made it this far you are obviously bored and a really genuine person.  I am looking forward to meeting as many of you at the Arnold as I can.  Send me a PM and let me know you’re planning on going and we can be sure to exchange contact info so that we don’t miss each other in the madness and I can really get a chance to see and talk and take pics with all of you!!
 

2009 is here and SO AM I!!!

For those of you who don’t know my oldest son has Sickle Cell Disease.  He has been receiving blood transfusions every 6 weeks since he was 13 months old.  The last two nights he has complained of pain in his hands and arms.  He so smart…today when he woke up he told me he “wanted to see the real doctor, not the checkup doctor” so he could get some medicine.  Implying that he didn’t want to go to his Primary Care Physician in our little town but his Hematologist in the “big” city 25 miles away.  Broke my heart but got the point across. 

We called and they said “get him in right now” fearing the worst. 

His visit went great!! (Other than the pain)  They sent us home (they normally do because they know we monitor him really well and I know enough about anatomy and physiology to recognize when/what a problem arises).  He is definitely in his first pain crisis but it is moderate.  But his blood work was the best it has been since he was 1 (he just turned 4 Monday).  He hasn’t had a blood transfusion in three months.  The longest he’s gone until now has been 8 weeks.  His spleen is completely back down to normal and the doctor even said she was going to follow the program he is on for two other kids that she was debating removing their spleens.  He is finally 30 pounds so he can get on real dosages of his medications and we don’t have to get custom mixtures mailed in from special pharmacies.  I hate that he is in pain but on the scale of things it could be a lot, lot, lot worse and that is the blessing.  He’s sleep right now (Codeine does that) but it will be the first pain free sleep he has had in 2 days!!! 

God is good! 

Then I ate.
I got off the treadmill today (4 miles in 32:13) stepped on the scale and was 199.0.  But…I just ate about a pound of tuna and 40oz of water so I’m sure I’m at least 202 right now.  But at least I know I’m going down.  I have 6 more days to cut.  I just bought a crap load of chicken and seafood.  I’m going to bland it up until Wednesday.
From what I hear, if I cut water in 4 days conjoined with carb loading in 4 days whatever look I’m able to achieve for this go round should "peak" right at my goal date.  I will take some pics daily to see how if this timing actually works for me.  Maybe they will show that I need to vary by a day more or less the water or the carb portion.
In other news, I actually took a step and emailed some photographers today.  Who knows, one maybe they will be interested in helping me. 
I’m pretty ashamed to say that the only “pics” I have of myself are on this site.  So I humbly had to list my BS page as my "portfolio" of pictures.  I’m normally the one taking the pictures I have never been big on having my picture taken.  In fact I was not in a single year book throughout my high school career.  I made the senior paper only because I was voted least likely to be seen.  (Story behind that is that I went to college my senior year and didn’t have any friends my age, so when they voted they were telling the truth.  As a matter of fact I moved 4 days after graduation!)
I hope to at least make some contacts and figure out what a photographer is looking for in a model.  It would also be nice to get a feel as to what kind of monetary and time commitments are necessary to put a package together.  All part of the learning curve I guess!
Wish me Luck!!
 

Enough of Mr. Potential.  I’ve been Mr. Potential in virtually every facet of life since I was a child.  The only thing that has ever gotten in my way has been my stupid arrogance.  I know I can, and deep down inside that is enough for me. 

News Flash

*******THAT HASN’T DONE SHIT FOR YOU YET DUMBASS!!!!*******

Where I’m from, Mr. Potential winds up on the streets telling all the other guys on the corner about what he used to be and what he coulda done.  I don’t see that in my future, but I don’t want to chance it.  Be it my faith, my marriage, my kids, my career, my education, or the gym, I have to commit 110%.  I’m great at 100% until I prove it to myself.  I almost never hit 110%.  But Oh Boy once I get close enough to a goal to prove to myself that I am capable of doing it…I’m lucky to hit 70% effort from that point on.  And that is sole reason why I am what/where I am today.  It only takes talking to me for 20 sec. to realize I’m not even close to satisfied with my current reality.

Since I have seen a glimpse of “an ab” my diet has slipped a little more and a little more. 

FINISH THE DAMN JOB!!! 

Declaration - Clean from here out.

From this point on I’m taking it out of my hands.  When ShanBL, miked512, Stevep78, niknak32, BISON 911, Deborah Ann, jxpop, and Dave5857 agree that my progress pics say “Dammit you did it!!” then I can go into my bulking phase.

Until Then…

**************************“CLEAN IT UP DRANE!!”***********************

It is winding down here at work and I am sitting down for my “break” 30 min before we close.  I’ll be out of here in an hour and a half and I find myself trying to time when I drink my sugar free red bull I have stashed in one of the coolers.  I’m going to the gym when I leave here because my wife’s car is in the shop and she will need mine in the morning to go to school.  So as not to inconvenience her I will be the idiot in the gym running miles, doing box jumps, and sweating out every piece of lettuce I ate today, while the rest of this town roll over in their sleep and burps up pizza.  

I don’t have a problem being that guy.  I’m that guy at work, I’m that guy amongst my friends, I’m even that guy at home.  But is being that guy really getting me anywhere?  I’m still working two jobs.  I’m still to scared to call up my photographer friend to get in there and take some pics of me.  I’m still taking one class at a time to try to get this stupid MBA.  I’m just still.  I’m doing lots of movement and all of it feels like forward steps but am I taking a million forward steps in a million different races?? 

I think this is the lack of carbs talking.  I’m sure I will deny ever writing this in two weeks but it’s what’s on my mind right now.  I’m so excited about my progress at work, at the gym, in class, and even in my home but sometimes doing for self gets tiring.  It would be nice to get some type of reward.  A thank you, a good job, a RAISE, or even a keep it up the light at the end of the tunnel is getting closer and “BOY IS IT A DUSSIE”! 

As an admitted meat head at heart, I can honestly say I thought I had more muscle underneath all the fat I was carrying.  I would tell myself “that guy weighs how much?  He must not have as much muscle as me.”  Well it turns out he probably did.  I hit my goal weight today and I am not even close to satisfied. My midsection looks how I would expect it to look mid bulking phase.  True…I don’t do abs.  (Save the lecture, never have, never will.)  But still.  I have quite a bit of love tube wrapped around my mid section and I want it gone before I start putting weight on. 
This is a two way street. 
1.  I’m mad that I had to realize I wasn’t what I thought I was.
2.  I’m more to determined to get there now.
 
So all and all it’s a win/win, but it still stings a little bit.
 
Signed,
Your 204lb. fat guy
 

I haven’t barbell bench pressed in over a month now.  Over that month I have dropped 15 lbs.  I thought it would be funny to see how many times I could rep my current bodyweight (208).  I did it for 27 cause I was the only person in the gym and didn’t want to chance it.  I thought it was funny!

You?

My workout partner from 300 miles away was in town last Saturday.  Killed my diet!  Then I went to an amusement park with the kids Sunday…Killed my diet.  Since then 3 days ultra clean and 2 lbs down.  I think that at this point I’m so focused on eating clean that when my mind is guilty that I’m cheating my body is telling me that I’m still doing good enough to keep the fat coming off! 

This week I started my Aug. Plan.  Drop sets, Super sets, and rest of 60 sec first week, 50 sec second week, 40 sec third week, and 30 sec fourth.  I know my fat will like it I hope my shoulders will take it as some time off.  I’ve been doing 60 seconds this week and my pride is already taking a hit on the weight, so I’m sure by the end of the month I will be at a weighted cardio.  That should give my shoulders some time to not have to fight the meat head in me (the 1000 pound gorilla in the room)! 

It pretty amazing that my weight progress chart shows when I went the recless abandon route on my weight gaining and the carb cutting route on my weight loss.  Almost to the day.  Nice gradual lines and then BAMMM!!!  And my pictures show the same thing.  Looking kinda one way and then BAMMM!!!  Drastic change in the other direction. 

I guess there are two morals to this story. 

1.  I am a classic mesomorph.  I can gain it or lose it probably easier than most.

2.  BodySpace is ingenious for creating this platform!

I went in today just to move a little weight around since I took most of the week off with the gym being closed.  I did my warm up and tried to super set incline dumbell press with double bent over dumbell rows 15 reps apiece.  I was only using 15 pounds and my shoulders (yes both of them) really didn’t like it.  I had to stop and go do calfs for a while (they could always use the attention).  Maybe I was giving my shoulder more credit than it deserves.  Maybe I’ll be on the shelf longer than I thought.  I’ll just keep cutting until I can bulk again.  If I can’t be big I’ll just have to be the biggest little guy in the room!!!

P.S.  7.5 days clean eating, but its time to carb up.  I got some Lasagna in the fridge waiting for me and no it not turkey and yes its loaded with cheese.  I’ll just double the cardio tomorrow!