Marilia’s Powerlifting Blog

(to Fernando, Caramello and Deni) 

“There’s no sensation to compare with this, suspended animation, a state of bliss” (Pink Floyd, “Learning to Fly”). 

All that happened since my strength failed me yesterday led me to give some serious thought to the motives that drive lifters to lift. Why do I lift? Why did I feel so desperate and lost when my strength failed me? 

I have written extensively about my health conditions and the reasons that brought me to strength training. What I have not written about yet is what lifting means to me. In one word, it means TRANSCENDENCE. 

You may be shocked or you may laugh at what you will read, but do keep in mind I am serious about it: in a perfect lift, as the bar rises, it dissolves as a separate object and we become one. Body and bar. And then all boundaries are dissolved. I become one with the bar, the bar becomes one with the surroundings, the surroundings with everything else and that is transcendence. Suspension of time, space and individuality – just movement and being. For one split second that lasts a lifetime, I am strength itself, I am the weight, I am the Universe. 

So, some people pray, others sing mantras, I lift weights. 

I have no spiritual background. My parents are atheist scientists. I am a scientist. For me, reason is poor help for tougher issues as to the meaning of existence, or meaning itself. As with everything else where reason and knowledge have failed me, I have to trust a deeper wisdom. I have to trust my body and the way it reaches inner realms of my mind, or even soul, if that exists at all. I don’t know what it is, I have no labels and no explanation. All I know is that lifting takes me into contact with a “bigger whatever”, a larger dimension, an alternative form of consciousness. People have different names for this experience. I prefer not to name it – just live it. 

The terror I felt yesterday was akin to having the doors of a Temple slammed at my face. I felt cut off from a vital part of myself. I haven’t slept well tonight, in spite of feeling drained and tired yesterday. But I am serene. I know I have something to learn from all this, as with any adversity. 

If lifting is for me a major source of meaning and my true path to transcendence, I cannot ignore the fact that lifting is an activity I share with other people that approach it quite differently. For other people, lifting may be a source of social identity. “Who are you?” Answer: “I am a lifter!”. He or she may spend the day stamping numbers and dates in stupid forms in an impersonal, castrating, bureaucratic environment, but at 6PM (s)he heads for the gym. Bars, disks, chalk, screams, heavy metal, laughter and friends – the lifter becomes a human being again. I have had the privilege to watch the construction of positive identities at a slum in São Paulo through lifting. I have seen couples bonding, getting married and having kids through lifting. 

Another important reason for lifting is because it is FUN. As one friend pointed out, life is shi**y enough as it is, why make it even more? These are lifters that truly run away from stressful lifting environments and value the pleasure element both in training and competition. These guys make the best workout buddies and, also, great friends. They’re in the game for the fun of it, they are determined to be happy and they will try to make everyone around happy as well. In meets, they help everyone, regardless of team or federation. They don’t lie. They don’t cheat. But they may get nasty when they see others cheat, take advantage of circumstancial problems or start bickering over things such as rules, gear, etc. 

I tried to describe categories of motives for lifting, but actually most of us do it for a mixture of reasons. Some people are mostly fun-driven, but also have an important (even if little recognized) transcendent component. Others are socially motivated, but value fun and life-quality as well. 

There is a fourth, quite distinct category of motives for lifting (or for engaging in any competitive activity), which is the title-oriented individual. This is the only category that I tend to consider negative. Obviously, we all value reward. Reward is or should be a measure of one’s accomplishments and allows the lifter to move forward. However, there is a major difference between facing reward as a result of accomplishment and reward as an end in itself. Let me try and illustrate my point. A few months ago, my friend Caramello lifted in a local State competition in Rio. He validated a 594lb bench press. Caramello never refers to the accomplishment as “winning the State Championship”, but as “having validated my 594lb”. I wonder if he remembers at all what the meet was about. Sure, he is the rightful State Champion, but that matters much less than his new mark of 594lbs. Here is a lifter who values reward as a measure of his accomplishment. Let me give you another example: my most valuable title is of South American Bench Press Champion (IPF). I seldom mention it. The reason is that my mark at the occasion was pathetically low, a mere 148.5lbs, done on my only valid second lift. I was a lousy lifter at this meet: no emotional control, lost my first lift and had my third lift invalidated for some reason I never understood. I won the title because the other lifter was even worse than me – and there were only the two of us. What does this title mean, besides its pompous name? Now, I do value my 214.5lb lift done at a National Championship at a local federation, with a cast over my broken leg. I was focused, concentrated, serene and determined. I did what I was prepared to do. And I am proud of the result. I really don’t care which title this lift granted me – all I know is that I validated 214.5lbs. 

I tend to see the title-driven attitude as negative for several reasons, from the individual to the collective. Individually, it is precisely the opposite from the transcendence-lift. The lift itself is devoid of meaning – the title is all there is. Whereas transcendence integrates, title focus alienates. It is the dark side of the sport and the unhealthy side of competition. Personally, it is a pain in the as*, since nobody can stand ego trips and self-marketing for too long. On the collective level, it is the driving force behind cheating, federation in-fight and all other forms of unethical behavior in sports. At an even larger perspective, it is the worst possible example to set for the youth, that so much needs sports and merit-based healthy activities for their intellectual, physical and moral development. 

I lift for all the good reasons I listed above, and because there is no sensation to compare with it! 

This entry was posted on Saturday, August 25th, 2007 at 10:14 am and is filed under Training. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.