Virus
It has been a week since I’ve been to the Emergency Room and was diagnosed with an underlying virus infection. According to the doctor, it was enough to drive me into dehydration (together with an unacceptable and irresponsible behavior on my part by not drinking enough water or eating enough carbs) and other annoying symptoms, but not a full blown infection. It could either develop into that or go away.
Wednesday, I had two significant sources of professional stress. One really, really bothering. More than bothering: I lost control, I wanted to kill the mediocre b* (the editor) that blocked my story in an interesting magazine here, out of sheer enviousness and a stupid power play.
This same day I had my last heavy training day before the State Championship. Because of one of the meetings, I did it in two sessions: one Bench Press and the other Deadlift.
Tuesday I woke up feeling like s*. It got worse along the day and by noon, with a recalcitrant headache, I decided I had to eat. Went to the diner near by and I felt so miserable that I went into my friend’s drugstore and asked her to measure my temperature and blood pressure. I had a fever and the blood pressure was already falling: 90 by 50. I had blurred vision and was dizzy as hell. Got home – I don’t know how, driving – and called my brother, who took me to the hospital. They were wonderful and confirmed I had a virus infection and had to stay home for a couple of days, but will be able to take part on my competition.
I feel embarrassed to admit I thought I was dying. I called my coach (and brother, and best friend, and partner) and said funny things to him. Called my boyfriend and said something like last words. Tried to get hold of my daughter to tell her I love her. Really – no joke.
My resistance to pain is exceptional. My physicians always make fun of me, saying that if I show up out of regular visits, they know they have hard work ahead. I don’t cry, I don’t whine. However, it has been 10 years since I had a fever. Five years since I had a headache, and it was nothing compared with this. When I feel dizzy, it is because I s* up with carbs and all I have to do is get some dextrose and K+. This time I watched my body dissolving into something unknown, and I really didn’t know where it was going.
I found out my worst nightmare is WEAKNESS. Internal… External… Whatever. I have a real hard time coping with things and aggressions out of my range of reaction. Food for thought…
April 6, 2007 at 8:13 am
Honey, don’t feel bad for feeling like you were dying. About two years ago I had violent chest pains and had to be taken to the hospitl at about 7 or 8 at night, and wasn’t able to leave until 3:00 AM. It was extremely painful to move, luagh or sometimes take adeep breath. Needless to ssay I thought I would need serious surgery or thought I would die! I was terrified. Turns out my chest was just inflamed and all I needed was three advil every 10 hours. If anyone is allowed to be embarassed, it’s me! Hope you feel better!