Comments on: To Maddi, part 1: The Woman Behind the Mirror http://blog.bodybuilding.com/marilia05/2007/02/24/to-maddi-part-1-the-woman-behind-the-mirror/ Powerlifting my way to the unknown Sat, 05 Dec 2009 05:11:11 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=0.32 by: GGsgotguns http://blog.bodybuilding.com/marilia05/2007/02/24/to-maddi-part-1-the-woman-behind-the-mirror/#comment-33135 Mon, 12 Mar 2007 02:08:59 +0000 http://blog.bodybuilding.com/marilia05/2007/02/24/to-maddi-part-1-the-woman-behind-the-mirror/#comment-33135 I finally got chance to read your blog. Been really sick with my kidney disease. But I can relate to much of your story. I was diagnosed with a mental disorder 4 years ago when I was testifying at my best friends murder trial. Everytime someone comments on how hard it must be to lift the weights I do, I tell them it is nothing compared to the weight I lifted off of myself when I decide to not let my disorder dictate who I was anymore! Train hard and heavy! Cathi I finally got chance to read your blog. Been really sick with my kidney disease. But I can relate to much of your story. I was diagnosed with a mental disorder 4 years ago when I was testifying at my best friends murder trial.

Everytime someone comments on how hard it must be to lift the weights I do, I tell them it is nothing compared to the weight I lifted off of myself when I decide to not let my disorder dictate who I was anymore!
Train hard and heavy!
Cathi

]]> by: Maddi http://blog.bodybuilding.com/marilia05/2007/02/24/to-maddi-part-1-the-woman-behind-the-mirror/#comment-24514 Sun, 25 Feb 2007 17:08:56 +0000 http://blog.bodybuilding.com/marilia05/2007/02/24/to-maddi-part-1-the-woman-behind-the-mirror/#comment-24514 PPS...I would be very interested in hearing more about what you said about testosterone's effect on your brain. I am considering trying a testosterone cream for awhile. I am wondering if you supplement your body with testosterone at all, or rely on the extreme exercise alone for your body to increase it's own production of it. Also, when and if you have time, I would love to hear more on the differences between bodybuilding and powerlifting. I am very intrigued with powerlifting, but have never had any actual exposure to it. So while I am incredibly interested, I am also incredibly ignorant on the subject. I want badly to learn all of the various powerlifts, but I know there is far more to it than that. :) PPS…I would be very interested in hearing more about what you said about testosterone’s effect on your brain. I am considering trying a testosterone cream for awhile. I am wondering if you supplement your body with testosterone at all, or rely on the extreme exercise alone for your body to increase it’s own production of it.

Also, when and if you have time, I would love to hear more on the differences between bodybuilding and powerlifting. I am very intrigued with powerlifting, but have never had any actual exposure to it. So while I am incredibly interested, I am also incredibly ignorant on the subject. I want badly to learn all of the various powerlifts, but I know there is far more to it than that. :)

]]> by: Maddi http://blog.bodybuilding.com/marilia05/2007/02/24/to-maddi-part-1-the-woman-behind-the-mirror/#comment-24509 Sun, 25 Feb 2007 16:40:33 +0000 http://blog.bodybuilding.com/marilia05/2007/02/24/to-maddi-part-1-the-woman-behind-the-mirror/#comment-24509 Marilia, I had such a strong and powerful physical and emotional reaction to your story. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing this with me, and I want to say to you, that THIS IS WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT. I am no stranger to mental illness obviously. It runs on both sides of my family, and yes, in me as well. I believe bodybuilding/weight training saved my life as well. I am so familiar with looking in the mirror, and seeing that woman who is not alive, but dead looking back at me. That expressionless and hopeless face that has gone past the point of despair and into simply blank nothingness. I remember feeling like a wraith, and trying to describe that but not being understood. Only someone who has lived it can identify. Everything you said resonated with me deeplyl. The disguise you mentioned.... That is exactly what that 100 pounds of fat was to me. Quite an ingenius disguise, and one that I nearly lost myself in forever. I believe our souls have shared a similar pain, though I believe yours has been even greater than mine. I know it is a day to day battle, but I encourage you to keep doing whatever it is that makes you happy. I know that there are biological reasons for depression and all of these various life destroying disorders. However for me, I have found that simple self acceptance, despite all of my many faults, idiosyncracies, and ridiculous amount of weaknesses, has made all the difference in my life. That and bodybuilding has become my two greatest sources of strength and work together hand in hand. I believe I have overcome more of my inner wars and turmoil through these two things alone, than any amount of medication or therapy could have ever done. The EXTREME EXERCISE I believe changes my hormones somehow, and releases SOMETHING that my body obviously needs to be happy. I sincerely hope that someday you will write a book on this subject. There is something to this. I know we are not alone in this lifestyle being MORE THAN A HOBBY, but our very daily breath. You could influence and inspire so many with your story in such a positive way. I could say so much more, but there really aren't enough words. Thank you again. Love And Light, Maddi Ps....I have always been fascinated with the sport of fencing. :) Marilia,
I had such a strong and powerful physical and emotional reaction to your story. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing this with me, and I want to say to you, that THIS IS WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT.
I am no stranger to mental illness obviously. It runs on both sides of my family, and yes, in me as well.
I believe bodybuilding/weight training saved my life as well. I am so familiar with looking in the mirror, and seeing that woman who is not alive, but dead looking back at me. That expressionless and hopeless face that has gone past the point of despair and into simply blank nothingness. I remember feeling like a wraith, and trying to describe that but not being understood. Only someone who has lived it can identify. Everything you said resonated with me deeplyl. The disguise you mentioned…. That is exactly what that 100 pounds of fat was to me. Quite an ingenius disguise, and one that I nearly lost myself in forever. I believe our souls have shared a similar pain, though I believe yours has been even greater than mine. I know it is a day to day battle, but I encourage you to keep doing whatever it is that makes you happy. I know that there are biological reasons for depression and all of these various life destroying disorders. However for me, I have found that simple self acceptance, despite all of my many faults, idiosyncracies, and ridiculous amount of weaknesses, has made all the difference in my life. That and bodybuilding has become my two greatest sources of strength and work together hand in hand. I believe I have overcome more of my inner wars and turmoil through these two things alone, than any amount of medication or therapy could have ever done. The EXTREME EXERCISE I believe changes my hormones somehow, and releases SOMETHING that my body obviously needs to be happy. I sincerely hope that someday you will write a book on this subject. There is something to this. I know we are not alone in this lifestyle being MORE THAN A HOBBY, but our very daily breath. You could influence and inspire so many with your story in such a positive way. I could say so much more, but there really aren’t enough words. Thank you again.

Love And Light, Maddi

Ps….I have always been fascinated with the sport of fencing. :)

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