litlebit’s BodyBlog

I’m looking to meet some ND BBer’s, would like to try to get a group together and meet once in awhile to discuss/exchange workouts, diets, etc.  Let me know if your interested, I’m in Fargo….it would be nice to have some local support!

I’m still on track with training but extremely busy getting everything pulled together for my son’s college graduation this coming wkend.  I’m glad in sense that I’ve had that and work to keep me busy because as I’ve found myself wanting something I can’t have…life has some strange twists and turns sometimes!  So I’m taking it out in my workouts….my mind has been so pre-occupied with someone that focus at times is a challenge to say the least…but I have always managed to stay grounded and realistic, so I’m counting on that strength to get me through this….Have you ever met a DREAM?!

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as
a Christmas gift. The next year, he didn’t buy her a gift.When she asked
him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you
last year!"
And that’s how the fight started…..

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My wife walked into the den & asked "What’s on the TV?" I replied
"Dust".
And that’s how the fight started…..
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A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not
happy with what she sees and says to her husband, ‘I feel horrible; I
look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.’
The husband replies, ‘Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.’
And that’s how the fight started…..
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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, ‘I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3
seconds. ‘I bought her a scale.
And that’s how the fight started…..
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I asked my wife, ‘Where do you want to go for our anniversary?’
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
‘Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!’ she said.
So I suggested, ‘How about the kitchen?’
And that’s when the fight started….
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My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were
in bed, turned to her and said, ‘Do you want to have sex?’
‘No,’ she answered.
I then said, ‘Is that your final answer?’
She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying ‘Yes.’
So I said, ‘Then I’d like to phone a friend.’
And that’s when the fight started….
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When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive. So, I took her to a gas station.
And that’s when the fight started…..
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I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer
would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And that’s when the fight started…..
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My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
nearby table.
My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?’
‘Yes,’ I sighed, ‘She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to
dri nking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she
hasn’t been sober since.’
‘My God!’ says my wife. ‘Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?’
And that’s when the fight started…..
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I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road
and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things
just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn’t believe it. He was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, ‘I AM NOT
HAPPY!!!’
So, I looked down at him and said, ‘Well, then which one are you?’
And that’s when the fight started…..
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I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
order first. ‘I’ll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.’
He said, ‘Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?’
‘Nah, she can order for herself.’
And that’s when the fight started…..

–
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe." Albert Einstein

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
- Woody Allen

I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.
- Mae West

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys’ side of the story.
( I must admit, it’s pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules"
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE! t
1.   Men are NOT mind readers.

1.  Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1.  Sunday sports It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1.  Crying is blackmail.

1.  Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1..  Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.  That’s what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1.  Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.  Don’t ask us.

1.  If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the  other one

1.  You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1.  Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1.  ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color.  Pumpkin is also a fruit.  We have no idea what mauve is.

1.  If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1.  If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing’s wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1.  If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1.  When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really .

1.  Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball,
or  golf.

1.  You have enough clothes.

1.  You have too many shoes.

1..  I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don’t mind that?  It’s like camping.

Got this this morning from a friend…if your easily offended..don’t read it!
If Dr. Suess Were  A Woman

I’m glad I’m a woman-YES I AM!
I don’t live on Budweiser beer, nuts, or spam.
I don’t brag to my buddies about my erections.
I won’t drive to Hell before asking directions.
I act nice at parties; don’t act like a clown; and I know how to put the toilet seat down.

I won’t grab your boobies; I won’t pinch your butt.
My belt is not hidden beneath my beer gut.
I don’t go around re-adjusting my crotch; or make sure my headboard bears each hard earned notch.
I don’t belch in public; don’t scratch my behind.
I’m a woman you see- I’m just not that kind.

I’m glad I’m a woman; so glad I could sing- and thrilled I’m not covered with shag carpeting.
Hair won’t grow from ears, or cover my back.
And when I bend over, you can’t see my crack.

I’m a woman, alas-and have I’m proud, don’t you see?
I’m blessed to have two boobs and squat when I pee.
I don’t live for golf, or shoot basketball.
I don’t swagger and spit like a Neanderthal.

I don’t need male bonding; I don’t cruise for chicks- I’ll never join the “Hair Club”, or think with my dick.
I’m a woman, by chance and thankful I am!
I’m so glad I’m a woman; not a man, YES I AM!

“IT’S A GUY THING”
Means:  “There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.”

“I’M GOING FISHING”
Means:  “I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.”

“CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?”
Means:  “Why isn’t it on the table?”

“UH HUH,” “SURE HONEY,” or “YES DEAR…”
Means:  Absolutely nothing.  It’s a response.

“IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN.”
Means:  “I have no idea how it works.”

“I WAS LISTENING TO YOU, IT’S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND.”
Means:  “I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra.”

“TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOUR WORKING TOO HARD.”
Means:  “I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.”

“THAT’S INTERESTING DEAR.”
Means:  “Are you still talking?”

“YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS.”
Means:  “I remember the theme to “F” Troop, the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I’ve ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.”

“I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU,  AND GOT THESE ROSES.”
Means:  “The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe.”

“OH, DON’T FUSS. I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT’S NO BIG DEAL.”
Means:  “I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I’m hurt.”

“HEY, I’VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I’M DOING.”
Means:  “And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.”

“I CAN’T FIND IT.”
Means:  “It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I’m completely clueless.”

“WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?”
Means:  “What did you catch me at.”

“I HEARD YOU.”
Means:  “I haven’t the foggiest idea what you just said, and I’m hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don’t spend the next 3 days yelling at me.”

“YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE.”
Means:  “I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse.”

“YOU LOOK TERRIFIC”
Means:  “Please don’t try on one more outfit, I’m starving.”

“I’M NOT LOST, I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.”
Means:  “No one will ever see us alive again.”

“WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK.”
Means:  “I make the messes, she cleans them up.”

I was asked a while back to be a feature for female fitness on a web site…it took me awhile to think about it.  I was told that I would be a good example because I started so late in life (only been getting fit since Nov. 2006)…so I thought what the hell!  if it can motivate just one person to get off their butt…why not! LOL  You can check it out on efitnesspad.com under female fitness.  TY to everyone that has supported me with my journey so far!  And a special TY to RafMorris 37 who has been helping me for the past 4-5 months, prior to that I did it all on my own.

Here’s the link for the article…just copy and paste.  http://health.yahoo.com/news/ap/us_med_diet_pill_recall.html

Little Carol came into the kitchen where her mother was making dinner. Her
birthday was coming up and she thought this was a good time to tell her
mother what she wanted. ‘ Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.

Now, Little Carol was a bit of a troublemaker. She had gotten into trouble
at school and at home. Carol ’s mother asked her if she thought she
deserved to get a bike for her birthday. Little Carol , of course, thought
she did.

Carol ’s mother, being a Christian woman , wanted her to reflect on her
behavior over the last year, and write a letter to God and tell him why
she deserved a bike for her birthday.

Little Carol stomped up the steps to her room and sat down to write God a
letter.

LETTER 1:
Dear God:
I have been a very good girl this year and I would like a bike for my
birth day. I want a red one.

Your friend,
Carol

Carol knew this wasn’ t true. She had not been a very good girl this year,
so she tore up the letter and started over.

LETTER 2:
Dear God:
This is your friend Carol . I have been a pretty good girl this year, and
I would like a red bike for my birth day.

Thank you,
Carol

Carol knew this wasn’ t true either. She tore up the letter and started
again .

LETTER 3:
Dear God:
I know I haven ‘t been a good girl this year. I am very sorry . I will be
a good girl if you just send me a red bike for my birthday.

Thank you,
Carol

Carol knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get her a
bike. By now, she was very upset . She went down stairs and told her
mother she wanted to go to church. Carol ’s mother thought her plan had
worked because Carol looked very sad.

‘ Just be home in time for dinner,’ her mother said. Carol walked down the
street to the church and up to the altar . She looked around to see if
anyone was there . She picked up a statue of the Virgin Mary, slipped it
under her jacket and ran out of the church, down the street, into her
house , and up to her room. She shut the door and sat down and wrote her
letter to God.

LETTER 4:
I GOT YOUR MAMA.

IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN , SEND THE BIKE.

Signed,
YOU KNOW WHO