Some what O/T
First off I’m back full swing with my workouts, they’re going well. I’m feeling stronger and hopefully will continue to improve.
I have been going through a lot of stuff lately and have been taking a really hard look at myself. I didn’t like everything I saw. When I first started my road to getting fit (2 years ago now), I was overwhelmed with the attention I received from the way my body was looking/changing. For the first time in my life people noticed me and I got bombarded with attention that I really wasn’t prepared for and I believe didn’t know how to handle. I guess you could say that it went to my head a little….I felt like Cinderella! I got caught up in the attention and it felt good…however there was a price to pay for that. I did somethings that were not well thought out (actually truth be told I didn’t think at all!) I have been married for 26 years, but when my body changed my husband became very jealous and demanded that I give up my working out. My quest to improve myself lead us down a road of constant dissagreement and drove a wedge between us. He became very jealous. I got tired of the comments and everytime I walked out the door hearing comments like "don’t go picking any body up", or "make sure you come home alone". He went so far as to go through my files on the computer and violated my privacy. That destroyed my trust I had worked so hard to build (trust was a big thing for me due to my background). We seperated 2 years ago when I asked him to leave. We did get back together I tried to make things work but the damage was done.
I am putting this out there because I need to be able to move on and hopefully anyone new on here reading this to please think about what your doing before it happens. Enemies accumulate very quickly, friendships don’t. I have had a really difficult time trying to get to know the ladies on here…there are so many I admire and would love to get tips from, but I don’t get responses from most. I just want to say a special THANK YOU to Storm, Chicana Peach, Ms Almond Eyes, Wen..and Amy Kessler for acknowledging that I exist and for inspiring me to have the courage to "fess up" so to speak.
I have had to travel this path alone and it’s hard. I don’t have support where I live, I get so much shit from everyone because of my age and qiute frankly am tired of hearing it! I joined this sight for support and instead I let it turn my life upside down. Now I’m trying to rectifiy that. Now to make a statement…I am not a "cougar", I do not chase young men. I admit I have playfully flirted with some and I have paid dearly for that. I have thought long and hard about this and decided that for me to move past all of the crap, I needed to share what’s been going on. I’m not proud of my behaviour and I have definately learned from it and it’s time to move on. I am a good person and I really do care about others.
Stormi a special THANK YOU to you for reaching out to me and basically throwing me a life line, you have no idea how much your kindness and caring has touched my heart and soul, you are my inspiration and a major source of my strength lately…LOVE YA BEAUTIFUL!!!
July 7, 2008 at 6:40 am
Im sorry to hear about that. Nobody should be jealous of thier spouse. They should be proud of them and happy to show them off. You will be able to move on, just stay focus. Your health is number 1 dont forget that.
July 7, 2008 at 6:43 am
Awww Thank you Beautiful! The feeling is so totally mutual!! You have inspired me and made me strong when I didnt feel I could even hold my head up!! Your presence on the site always gives me this warm comfort and always huge smiles as I see this incredible lady who can not only climb a pole but hold on with her legs upsidedown!! You cant imagine how much that inspires me!! That you are not afraid to be a Goddess!! To be beautiful and sensual!! You give the gift of how age is only a number…and spirit is what is strong and young forever!! And that if our bodies follow our spirit…they too stay young and strong forever!! Your simply amazing! Your story is inspiring for so many of us who have walked the same path and dealt with the same shame.
I have to share with you a line I got once about age: ‘What is age but numbers, and what are numbers but words, and what are words but sounds blowing threw the breezes’ SO true!! Keep being you!! You always have my support from Canada or from Texas…The Storm is there for you!! xo
July 7, 2008 at 6:44 am
TY..I really appreciate that. I have no doubt things will turn out for the best.
July 7, 2008 at 6:46 am
Thanks Storm..you rock!
July 7, 2008 at 7:33 am
You are a truly Beautiful person with more strength than a truck load of Olympians!
your friend and admirer,
FazerFX
July 7, 2008 at 7:55 am
Wow-i don’t get it! i just don’t understand how some women can be such b*tches! they give the rest of us bad names! i believe in building others up for the greater good! i believe in planting postive, uplifting, seeds in other people’s lives-even if its just a great job or a compliment-a kind word does the heart well and it’s like medicine! i’m so sorry that people have treated you the way that they have! no one deserves to be treated like that! who cares about our age and who you flirt and want to date-i think you are old enough to make your own damn decesions! my girlfriend is 36 and married to a 21 year old man and is more in love then ever and he is awesome! so, tell the hater’s to mind their own damn business! life is suspose to get better as we age! were like fine wine, the older we get-the better! (atleast i hope!) Please know, that i am always here to talk and cheer you on honey! Feel free to pm me or whatever! i love to chat and email! take care, be well, and above all-BE BLESSED
*brush your shoulders off*
July 7, 2008 at 1:19 pm
TY Hotheather! I really appreciate your comment and your support. I learn lessons from everyone and continually learn more about myself as situations present themselves be they positive or negative, it’s what I do with the end result that matters. I do believe for most of us the older we get the better we get if we have learned along the way.
When all is said and done regardless of where/who it comes from I am still accountable for my own actions, and by accepting that I grow even more as a person. As for the way women in general treat each other…I believe that this is why we will never have a female president….but that’s a topic for another time LOL. Hugs
July 7, 2008 at 1:24 pm
damn, i want to look like you at 53! hell, i want to look like that at 28! i love this avi! hot as hell!
July 7, 2008 at 2:35 pm
HaHa..THANKYOU for that compliment!! You just made my day girl!! By the way you look SMOKIN HOTT! Nice job on body sculpting!