lindsey4007’s BodyBlog

Being a kindergarten teacher definately has it’s downsides . . . like being almost constantly sick since mid-September. THis week I was gonna try a new gym schedule - 5 days a week for each major body part plus 3 days of cardio - but it looks like it’s a little postponed. I can catch up tommorrow and this weekend. I ate pretty well today, um, except for the half cup of frozen yogurt during the craziest Dr.Phil show ever!

I’ll take some more Airborne and hopefully feel better tommorrow!

I screwed up my leg day by going to 24hour fitness on a free pass and pushing myself too hard on new machines. By the third set of my leg curls I was feeling like I was gonna pass out! Really embarrassing because I had this trainer check my body fat % and I rattled off to him my goal of figure comps. Then he watched me poop out on legs while he trained someone. I went down to the locker room to rest and tried to come back up for a second try, but it was no use . . . my body said "absolutely not, Lindsey"! So I scooted on outta there as fast as my rubbery legs could carry me!

So now the week is over and I feel pretty crappy about legs. Not to mention the bad news about my body fat!! 20%!! AHHH! I was hoping for something under 20, even 19 would have been better. Oh well, I guess that gives me something to work for. I have to do cardio 3 times a week too, even if I am trying to gain muscle. With a body fat % like mine, I need to work my butt off (literally). I’m super motivated by the idea of what I could look like with say, 10% body fat. That seems crazy, but I can do it!!

I’ve always been interested in competing, and I’ve still got a lot to learn, but . . . I’m doing it!! No matter what other people think (like my parents), I believe I would "fit" in these competitions. I drove up to LA to watch the Fitness Hollywood(?) competition tonight. I waited around all day to see figure and I was just amazed! The woman were absolutely beautiful! I’m inspired. I’ve been all mixed up with my personal goals, but I’ve got it "figured" out now . SO my new goal is to gain more muscle during the "winter" and lean out in the spring/summer to do a show around that time. But I have to investigate when and what and where, especially because $’s a little tight on my teacher salary. I’ll just have to be creative. I just want to walk on a stage next to those woman and feel good about myself. It’s not going to be the end all to attaining happiness (how I’ve been treating everything else in my life), it’s just a new life challenge to enjoy.

I’m trying something new with food . . . I’m only eating carbs in the morning, and before and after a workout. I have to do a ton more "research" about food. I’m excited!

Okay, so I’m going to vent in this silly blog because I have no one in my life who understands these crazy thoughts of mine except my boyfriend who I’m sure is tired of listening to me. I don’t know where I’m going with my fitness and health goals. It’s driving me insane. One week I’m all about it and the next week I can’t do anything to convince myself to go to the gym at all. Or I’ll go, get bored and tired, and leave in the middle of a workout. Food is confusing too. Now that I’ve read more, I KNOW what I’m putting in my body every time I take a bite of anything. I want to eat healthy, but I know that unless I go %100 clean, most foods are not healthy. And it really bothers me that so many foods"masquerade" as being healthful, when they really are not. It seems like if I cut back on something, say sugar, then the sodium skyrockets. ANd then I ask myself, why really am I watching this stuff anyway? I’m not trying to compete, it’s the freakin’ winter time (no chances of bikinis), I’m not trying to be a sexy elementary teacher, and I’m not trying to attract a date. So the only reason is ME. For myself because I like it, I like the way women look with muscles and low bodyfat. I want to look like that. But how can I realistically achieve that? I’m up at 6am, work until 6pm, and barely have enough energy to drive home without falling asleep at the wheel. I’ve worked so long to have my career; that is where all of my energy goes. Plus, I’m sick of my gym in my apartment complex. I have to have variety, action, people to check out, cardio options. Yet, access to a gym is one of the reasons we moved here. I just can’t decide and commit. I think I look good. I’m thin, I look good in the front, I wear a size 2, I have more muscle than I ever have had. If I try to maintain (I really don’t know how to "maintain") I’m petrified of gaining the weight back. Maybe I need to dance again. OR try something else. Or join the gym by my work and go immediately after work for a change of scenery. Or make some actual friends who are into this stuff. Or just accept that at this time in my life, super low bodyfat is just unrealistic. Maybe I can try again next summer.

I apologize to anyone who had to suffer reading this blog. I know I’m whining and making excuses. THis is really just meant as a record of my thoughts so I can reassess them at a later time and get a different point of view.

Time to go the gym??

Big problem: I can’t do all this protein! The digestive side effects are horrendous! I don’t know how anybody does it. Please share any suggestions you have. Will I see ANY results if I eat only a moderate amount of protein and don’t drink protein supplement shakes??

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