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Archive for the 'Life' Category
Thursday, May 28th, 2009
Not all things bad, are bad. Good do come out of bad, too. I make it a point to see that. I have been in a torture the past few weeks and the worst were the past few days. Over side effects, over being unable to workout…
I knew I hit a plateau where my weight is concerned sometime back. It simply refuses to go down. I am not hoping that my weight goes down to where I started on a profile on BS …hmm…that was the peak of depression and struggling against side effects, too over the previous anti depressant. Anyway, today I was pleasantly surprised that instead of going up, my weight actually is down by more than 1 lb. No great significance but I am trying to see the light of things here.. And although I can’t be sure how accurate my weighing scale is ( I have read about how inaccurate weighing scales are in calculating bf%) my bf has dropped a bit ,too.
Posted in Training, Other, Life
Wednesday, May 27th, 2009
For me, this is also time where friendships are put to test. No one likes to be around a wet blanket.
If you have suffered clinical depression, you will know what I am talking about. To a lot of people, we - the sufferers, the patients, the ones who are unlucky enough to have the dreaded depression & its cousins and kins, WE ARE A BUNCH OF "FEELING-SORRY-FOR-OURSELVES" PEOPLE.
But our side of the story, if we pluck enough courage to talk about it, it most likely would save our lives. For me , it did. For if I didn’t, I would have carried out some horrendous hit job on myself. No jokes here. I speak for myself. When I slip into the verge of giving up, I have no doubt many of you have seen some of my blogs which I have removed since, there was real danger lurking. This time round, I am nowhere near that danger I talk about. But I must say the suffering is real, especially when the side effects get too much and there were many times the past few weeks I wanted to trash the anti depressants yet at the back of my mind knowing I cannot afford to. It is pure torture. I know I will get through it but I don’t know how much longer it will take. I just wish it would be quick!
Posted in Training, Other, Life
Monday, May 25th, 2009
I want to get well
I want to get out of bed tomorrow morning
I want to get back to my routine of working out
I want my life back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am so exasperated with how things are turning out.
Posted in Training, Other, Life
Sunday, May 24th, 2009
With medication settling in, I am in the mood for some naughty fun. More of a hypothesis. If I was available and looking, would there be anyone interested? LOL
The ad would look something like this
WANTED
======
A MAN -MUST BE CONSIDERATE,LOVING & FINANCIALLY STABLE
MARITAL STATUS : SINGLE/DIVORCED
SPECIAL NOTE : MUST BE AT LEAST 5′11" TALL
IMPORTANT : MAIN "PACKAGE" COMES WITH "EXCESS BAGGAGES"
p.s. Let’s just face it , I am bored stiff right now….
:)
Posted in Other, Life
Thursday, May 21st, 2009
I am keeping my fingers & toes crossed. So far I am responding well to the additional dosage of Luvox. At least it is not that hard getting out of bed. Side effects?? Doesn’t seem as though there is any major ones for now. Only feelings of anxiety every now and then as well as light headedness. That is so minor compared to what I had been going through. I do feel a bit more productive today although I totally forgot I was supposed to collect my little girl’s multivits at the hospital. Must go & get it tomorrow.
Posted in Training, Other, Life
Tuesday, May 19th, 2009
Yesterday I took Cosy & Furry to the vet for their routine de-worming & vitamin dose. Both cats now at about 6 months old weigh 3.2kg (more than 7 lbs) each. These cats were raised by me from the time they were a few days old when I picked them as strays. I was concerned Cosy had a bulging belly and wondered if she’s pregnant. Vet asked if I heard any cat calls. Nope, I said but my little girl had told me she saw a pink thing at Furry’s "private part". So, the vet sketched the cat’s penis and asked little one if that was what she saw. She nodded shyly and said it looked like a "star-fish" .
It was only today I thought about the incident. There I was at the vet’s with my little girls and his nurse was nowhere to be seen. And we were talking about the cat’s male organ and about mating. What a dingbat I was!!! I wonder what the vet thought I was trying to do!!! Boy, am I embarrassed now that I think of it all.
And just the other day when I wrote in my blog about not liking being called a "hot ass" and I got some remarks as to how to describe my cats…. yeah, nice pussy, cute kitty…
On a more serious note, we have to find a good home for Dot & Spot. I cannot cope with 4 cats & 2 girls turning the house upside down. And kitty poop STINKS!!!! Despite maintaining the litter box a few times daily. I am reluctant to give them away since they are part of the family but with my condition with medication and all, I think kitty poop will drive me insane!!!
Posted in Training, Other, Life
Saturday, May 2nd, 2009
Yup, I have been experiencing not just some but many of these side effects. I didn’t want to check out the side effects when I first started but it looks like time for me to know why I am feeling such a drag…
Extracted from
http://anxiety.emedtv.com/luvox/luvox-side-effects.html.
In these studies, some of the most common side effects of Luvox included:
- Nausea — occurring in up to 40 of people
- Headaches — up to 22 percent
- Drowsiness — up to 22 percent
- Insomnia — up to 21 percent
- Weakness — up to 14 percent
- Dry mouth — up to 14 percent
- Nervousness — up to 12 percent
- Diarrhea — up to 11 percent
- Dizziness — up to 11 percent
- Constipation — up to 10 percent
- Indigestion — up to 10 percent
- Upper respiratory infections — up to 9 percent
- Ejaculation problems — up to 8 percent
- Sweating — up to 7 percent
- A loss of appetite — up to 6 percent.
Other common side effects (occurring in 2 percent to 5 percent of people) included:
- Impotence
- Vomiting
- Shakiness (tremors)
- Anxiety or agitation
- Gas
- Flu-like symptoms (such as fatigue, fever, and body aches)
- Feelings of a forcefully or rapidly beating heart (palpitations)
- Toothaches and other tooth problems
- Flushing (redness of the skin, especially in the face)
- Taste changes
- Blurred vision
- Chills
- Trouble swallowing
- Muscle tension
- Depression
- Trouble breathing
- Yawning
- Bladder problems.
These side effects were reported in adults taking Luvox. Children and teens usually have similar side effects. In addition, they may experience painful menstrual cramps, mood swings, and weight loss.
Some side effects of Luvox, while occurring infrequently, are potentially serious and should be reported to your healthcare provider right away. These include but are not limited to:
- Suicidal thoughts or behavior
- Anxiety, agitation, or panic-attacks
- Hostility or aggressiveness
- Engaging in unusual or dangerous activities
- Restlessness or an inability to sit still
- Extreme elation or feelings of happiness that may switch back and forth with a depressed or sad mood
- Other unusual changes in behavior
- Hallucinations
- A fast heart rate
- Chest palpitations
- Difficulty sleeping
- Signs of an allergic reaction, including:
o An unexplained rash
o Hives
o Itching
o Unexplained swelling
o Wheezing
o Difficulty breathing or swallowing
I hope this phase gets over and done with quickly.
Posted in Training, Life
Saturday, May 2nd, 2009
I knew I was weak.
But I am also vain.
And I had itchy feet.
So I thought it wouldn’t do any harm.
I picked up my light weight abs roller.
I used it.
I thought it was "no sweat" !
I paid for it.
Today.
Feels awful.
It aggravated the side effects of Luvox!!!!!!!!!!!
ARGH!!!!!!!!!
THE PRICE FOR VANITY. FOR WANTING TO LOOK GOOD. FOR WANTING TO FEEL BETTER FASTER.
Posted in Training, Life, Body Confidence
Sunday, April 26th, 2009
After a somewhat tumultuous week, more in my mind than anywhere else, the past two days seemed much better for me. Reason being , I had taken a full dose of Luvox the past two nights and it seems to be giving me better sleep .
Yesterday morning I woke up without the nausea but still had sleep full of dreams and by bedtime I started feeling nauseous again. Before that I would dread waking up each morning, after I switched over the anti depressant but on half dose, cos nausea was my constant company.
This morning I got up. No nausea. And when I thought hard. No dreams, either. I must have slept well. I looked into the mirror. Still have those bleary & tired eyes. But overall, I must have been in quite a good mood. Launched into a shopping spree and bought TWO pairs of shoes & FOUR dresses!!! I know that blew half my salary but they were worth it. Some times a girl has to pamper herself.
Two days ago I walked into a hair salon I had never been to and told the hair stylist owner…"I am putting my trust in you. Do whatever you want to do with my hair." I sat back and relaxed. I ended up with a new hair make over, highlights and all!! Sure looks different from how I have looked the past couple of years but I like it. Oh, sure I don’t look that familiar anymore to people who knows me and who prefered my old hair style but WTH!! I like it , so there!!
Oh, I also managed to start working out again last night although it was really a very light work out. Still, I started and that is what matters to me. During the week I had also began a semi detox program by incorporating freshly juiced vegetables & fruits into my diet. Though it wasn’t intensive I found that there were signs of my body being cleansed. Relief of water retention as well as a lighter feeling. OK miracles like losing weight immediately doesn’t happen,lol. Just the feeling of being fresher and lighter is good enough for me. I may be impulsive but not extreme when it comes to my body. I love my body!!
Posted in Training, Life, Body Confidence
Wednesday, April 15th, 2009
I guess these are some of the days when no one really wants to say anything to me for fear of saying the wrong thing considering the delicate situation at my end. My last intake of anti-depressant was about 44 hours ago. I am feeling kind of freaky. In a world of my own. Yeah, I almost lost my balance but this is improvement compared to dropping at the pavement the last time I tapered off. Vertigo , they call it. In about 4-5 hours’ time I will start off with Luvox, a more sedating anti-depressant. I feel really subdued for now. Maybe the in and out of ER was a blessing in disguise. My little girl had an infection and it has been a tough 48 hours or so. She seems to be improving.
Posted in Training, Life
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