My hair finally stopped dropping & there’s new growth. I can still see the light at the end of the tunnel, just that now it is further off. These few weeks are really trying for me as well as tiring. Now that I am well into withdrawal, I could feel something was wrong. No, I didn’t imagine it. I did some things I wasn’t supposed to do. (No, I am not telling.) I could tell I was out of control especially where my extremely short fuse is concerned. Last night my little 6 year old told me I should start taking my medicine again. That time , I brushed her aside. But later the night, after numerous other unpleasant incidents, I made up my mind I wasn’t going into relapse and that I had to check matters out with my psychiatrist. Turns out that everything seems to be timed. He said to go back on half dose…5 mg Lexapro for a week and see if it is sufficient. If it is I stay on that for 3-6 months. If it wasn’t enough, I would need to have it upped to 10 mg….the original dosage… As though like clock work ( I hadn’t even started meds then…) by afternoon my body gave way. It was horrible…I had spasms like earlier this year when I was first treated. Then nausea got really bad…so bad that I, who do not really believe in afternoon siestas had to lie down..not to sleep but to get over the spinning. And yeah, I was shaking like a leaf…goes to show me how drug addicts suffer on withdrawal.
The kitchen sink is overflowing with dirty dishes waiting to be loaded into the dish washer…but no…I am not gonna do it today….maybe tomorrow.
Tomorrow I have made up my mind to work out whether I am tired or not. I know I definitely do not have the strength to do a proper workout but I’ve gotta to do what I’ve gotta do!!
And I know for the next few weeks, I have to be even stronger cos the antidepressant is gonna cause havoc for me. Plus, I would have to be mildly tranquilized during the day cos the anxiety attacks are getting worse & more frequent.
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