Mom’s BodyBlog

Yes, I have been such denial that I refused to update my body stats until today.  Especially my weight.  I know, I know….I put on 10 % since I first started tracking.  The silver lining in this is that I think I am finally recovering.  That my eating has improved.  yeah…I think I am finally edging towards being "normal".

Yup, I decided to put update my stats (finally) cos if there is no black how are we to see the white.  At least I know I have a goal to work towards and that is to maintain a reasonably stable body weight.  Gosh….when I first started I had lost more than 26 lbs from my post child birth (of 4 years) and now I have managed to put back on a good 12 lbs!!  Consolation is, while losing I had thrown out all my "fat" clothes and till today I still do not need them fat clothes….

Let’s see how I progress from here.  I post and you watch, then I make sure I live up to my goals….   We are all here for each other, aren’t we?  To encourage and keep on encouraging even though there seems to be nothing to encourage…. and at the end I am sure we will all make it and MAINTAIN it when we get there…!!! 

OUCH!! I must be having a mild concussion after bumping my head really hard on the fridge door yesterday.  I totally forgot about the incident until today.  That explains why I had an accident with my car while reversing in the heavy rain yesterday.  My poor rear bumper got pushed in after I back into a wall.  And boy…tell me about being disorientated.  Today I am suffering the consequences…the pain…the sudden losing of consciousness… time to get in bed earlier than usual…

Big sis got an MP4 for her birthday and little sis got a mobile phone.  It goes to show how wrong I can get to be.  Little sis gave big sis such a hard time about having a real phone that I had to go out and get big sis a phone, too. As if money grows on trees.

If only mobile phones were as simple as dial and talk like they were meant to be.  Not anymore.  I had to spend hours trying to transfer mp3 audio files for them.  Do they appreciate it?  Sure didn’t show it… But I do appreciate them phones.  Ah…peace….keeps them occupied for hours.  Now I know why gadgets were invented.  They were created especially for us tired moms.

HURRAH!!

I am stuck!! I posted a blog yesterday "Foul weather & I".  Today it disappeared…I found out under the "Manage" option that it was labelled "PRIVATE".  Does anyone know how to undo this private stuff?

I was so excited about getting to the gym this afternoon.  Everything was as planned….the thunderstorm had passed…at least where I am staying.  There I go driving out…3 minutes later, it started to drizzle…ah….ok, I told myself…it surely won’t rain 20 minutes away…after all we do stay at a bay where weather is as unpredictable as it can get in this city.  By 10 minutes into the drive, I was ready to make a U-turn and head for home!! It was pouring like there was no tomorrow… Thing was….if I went another 2 more minutes on I would be caught at the flood prone stretch of road leading to the beach & golf resort where the gym is located.  ;(  That ain’t fair!!!  Just as I thought I was determined to shed those extra pounds the weather turned against me.  I know there is always tomorrow… still, I didn’t expect to be sabotaged.

Well, better miss a workout than be stranded in the middle of a massive jam in flood waters.  It was rush hour, anyway.

Let’s face the truth or should I say let me admit what I have done whether intentionally or not.  I did say there was a lot of stress cos my MIL was critically ill for 6 weeks before passing away.

Truth is on top of all these, by this time many of you would have figured out I am actually training hard not only for vanity’s sake but rather fighting for my life after being diagnosed with double depression.  It wasn’t just any depression but rather, I completely lost myself and I was suicidal for a whole two months even after I started therapy.  It is scary when I think of those critical two months cos on top of the suicidal tendencies ( I actually was planning how to do it…!!!) I was getting terrible anxiety attacks.  And I couldn’t sleep without tranquilizers.  It didn’t help that I was getting the side effects I wasn’t supposed to from the anti-depressants.  I had no appetite plus whatever solids I took, I couldn’t retain.  Hence I was losing weight like mad and survived on liquids most of the time.  Yeah, I was on tranquilizers even during day time.  Thankfully,  I managed to wean off the tranquilizers after a few months.  I still have to carry on with the anti-depressants for a while.

I noticed I was losing hair in clumps a few months back.  It was absolutely distressing!!  My hair thinned considerably…good thing I naturally have thick hair.

About the same time, that is about 6 weeks ago, my eating began to improve and I guess I overdid it…white carbs!!!  Plus I was not vigilantly taking my protein shakes.  Protein shakes were my lunch and instead I was taking croissants & danish pastries!!!  And since I was alone with my kids for those 6 weeks half the time, I couldn’t go to gym regularly topped with the fact that there was more to do everyday and we gradually fell into a pattern of having late dinners (ah.. yet another vice!!)

Now it is time to move on and train harder since I eat better now!!  

p.s.  And YES!!! There are signs of new growth of hair!!!  That is what life is all about, isn’t it?  The little joys in little things every day…

I was pretty contented knowing that most chores are done and that (YEAH!!) tomorrow girls go back to school …settled to a nice Japanese dinner of Yaki Ramen aka Fried Ramen (noodles).  However I wasn’t prepared for the shocker at the end of the meal.  As I bottoms up my nice warm green tea, I was horrified to find my throat burning!!!  The shocker was…my 6 year old had neatly and "accidentally ", as she claimed , while I was away from the dinner table…added pepper to my tea!!!!

p.s. The poor female guppy they caught is now officially dead as it also "accidentally fell onto the bathroom floor" and popped into an empty gel container filled with water …presumably seasoned with soap from the bathroom floor!!!

Just as I thought they showed their worst sides to me this one week school break, my little girls showed me that they can get a lot worse.  First, they went fishing or should I say catching fish WITHOUT PERMISSION.  Then they went on outside yes, also WITHOUT PERMISSION to collect pebbles for the fish caught.  Did I tell you the fish caught was from the indoor 4 foot fish tank?  And did I tell you I didn’t even want to know HOW they managed to climb up and catch the fish let alone bring it out alive and is now swimming in a transparent plastic tub in our bathroom?  They are only 6 & 9 and girls , at that !!

It is a good thing they are going back to school tomorrow or I think I will go insane pretty soon.   On a more cheerful note, we went for a walk at the Sunday street fair under the hot noon sun and got John (the once lost tortoise) & Miranda two more mates…this time, long tailed tortoises…never seen ones like these…aggressive reptiles they are.  Since John was found Miranda has been pretty defensive.  When I took her out to wash her shell, she snapped at me.  Talk about a “woman” once shunned…