lil_death’s BodyBlog

Yeah, so, I’ve managed to gain weight and stay at that weight again… I was doing fine for a while, sticking between 114 and 116.  Then two weeks after weighing myself at 116, I was 124… then hovering around 120.  Not to mention suddenly having a distended lower abdomen, to which no one has a clue as to why.  I’ve sought professional medical help via Physician, but this guy just ordered bloodwork and told me to play detective to figure out which foods are making me retain water and having a distended belly.  Then I happened to have an appointment with my surgeon for him to check my scars and told him, crying, that I wasn’t happy with the surgery.  He was clearly taken by it and started to try to figure out what the deal was.  He said some of these problems should go away for the most part (i.e. suddenly more cellulite appearing on my hips, thighs and buttocks) and that my metabolism was still trying to normalize.  The only logical explanation he had was that I exercised too much too soon, which I think is total bull.  He then wanted to order an ultrasound for my legs and a catscan.  We go through all this crap to make sure I’d be able to do those things, only to find out my insurance will only pay after a $500 deductible is met.  So I had to cancel those appointments until I change my benefits options.

I’m still awaiting results from my bloodwork.  My sister told me she’d forgotten if my thyroid was normal, but still waiting results for lupus and Celiac’s Disease.  In the meantime, I’ve gotten rid of protein powder for the most part and have been trying to eat more naturally (ie, mostly egg whites, chicken, fish, minimal amount of sodium possible (no added salt), no more canned tuna, veggies, brown rice and rice cakes).  I’ve eliminated quite a bit, including products that my have any kind of "unnatural" sweetener.  I’ve also eliminated oatmeal and shredded wheat from my diet, perhaps I’m allergic to gluten.

Not sure what’s suddenly causing this weight gain, water retention, butterfly-type redness across my face, hair loss and distended belly and honestly, I’m tired of being a medical mystery.  I just want someone to figure stuff out.

In the meantime, on the weekends, although I still barely meet my caloric requirements, I still manage to self-sabotage with ice cream, because at this point, subconciously I’m thinking what the eff is the effen point?  I’ve since had a discussion with myself (this morning actually) and decided to quit being so negative, to sleep more and drink more water and try not to be so anxious all the time. I should give Marcus a call and find out his opinions as well…
And now I’m dealing with a retard here at work… I wish I didn’t have to work with annoying people… specifically an ex I was friends with whom I begged my boss father to give a job to.  Undeserving ass…