lil_death’s BodyBlog

So, it’s been a while since I’d last written.  I had the show… didn’t place, despite my efforts.  It’s cool, though.  I’ll admit, I was a tad depressed… OK.. I WAS CRYING!  BUT… I couldn’t thank Marcus enough for getting my body back to a semi-normal place.  He really helped my body go through the changes necessary to get anywhere!  I can’t thank him enough and need to thank him somehow… soon.

HOWEVER.. I think the reason I didn’t place was because an error on my end.  He had told me to watch the changes in my body before proceeding into my 2nd meal with carbs… what did I do, you ask???  Well, I noticed the changes alright … I awoke that morning looking the leanest I’d ever looked.  I’d never weighed 110 for a show nor did I ever notice my waist get down to 25 inches.  I had ABS!  I couldn’t believe how great i"d looked!  I was solid to boot, too, which should’ve given me the clue to not have any carbs that morning.  But I did anyway… my 2nd meal, even after I’d noticed I’d gotten a little softer, I’d still eaten carbs anyway, thereby severly spilling over.  I’m such a f*** up sometimes.  Now, I can say, "Oh, well … ya live and learn."  That night I was myself senseless.

I’d spoken to Marcus which didn’t really help at the time… I suppose his words didn’t quite sink in until the next week.  Even after having spoken to Jeff and Jeff explaining to me how he had to fix what was broken first before proceeding to lean out with only 3 weeks to work with, still I felt the pain of defeat… of not being good enough…

At any rate, after the initial show, I did lift Monday & Tuesday, despite usually taking a week off from lifting, or doing anything entirely, because I was off to France with my daddy.  So I lifted Monday and Tuesday and attended kickboxing Monday and did the treadmill Tuesday.  During our time in France, my father and I managed to go running in the morning 4 days out of the 7 we were there.  Each time anywhere from 13 to 20 minutes.  So it wasn’t bad.  This week I just got, aside from Monday, got back into working out.  I lifted Tuesday, still not feeling well enough for cardio and last night had done kickboxing.

I’m better in spirits with goals I’d like to attain in the off season as well as career goals to focus on now.