liftindiva’s BodyBlog

I would never take anything away from friends of mine and kudos to one who just lost 30 lbs with that smart cookie plan….but Im a little irritated with the lack of congrats I get for the hard work I put into my diet and workouts and the results I’ve gotten. I sacrifice and push myself every day to make that BF % drop by tenths of a percent. I suffer through the weight workouts, the cardio,  weigh and measure and time all my meals. I’ve dropped 4 sizes in the past 6 months and I don’t really get much except women with muscles are gross. I just don’t get it. I am happy for my friend and wish her the best. Maybe Im being too much of a whiner. But it really pisses me off!

I hate it when people tell me Im getting too skinny. "what do you wanna weigh?" So I tell them drop another 20 then put on 10-15 more in muscle. Omg the reactions I get. Im 5′7-8 and I dont think 140 is too small. RIght now Im 152 and I think losing 20 lbs of fat (Im 22%) will be a good thing, Im beter this year for the Olympia then I was last year. And look out world, Im goning in at goal next year

Nothing is ever good enough and I am so tired of trying to make everyone elses life work. Tired of trying to make things good for others and I’m left feeling let down and worthless. And the worst thing…is its always family. The ones who are supposed to build you up, make things a little easier, have your back. But not in this case, never in my case. It hurts. And its my own damn fault

I can see the changes, feel the changes….so why is it so hard sometimes? To get the cardio done? To eat the right way? To just say no to all the goodies out there?? And why do people try so hard to derail your efforts? Tell you you’re getting too skinny? Make comments about being too obsessive and needing to "live a little". Im confused but Im not; Im tired of always eating the same things, but Im not tired of the results. Its so slow going but so rewarding to get one step further down the road.

Its nearing Olympia time and my tickets should be arriving soon. I feel like I used to as a kid when our vacations were nearing and we all were headed to Anaheim and Disneyland. People at my job haven’t a clue as to why I’d spend hundreds of dollars to go and see "freaks" as they put it. Everyone on steroids yadda nothing is real yadda girls who want to be men…all the crap crap crap. Im an RN in an ICU and we give steroids for inflammation all the time. I don’t remember one pt all of a sudden developing biceps like Dexter or quads like Branch. It takes dedication, consistency, committment, and sacrifice regardless of whatever else is on board. Hell I take fatburners, fat blockers on cheat days, protein powders, creatine, BCAA’s multivitamin, fish oil………….my point is; is that whatever gives an edge use it because the bottom line, the meat and potatoes, the foundation of it all is dedication, cosisitency, sacrifice. Going to the Olympia makes me feel connected with people who all have common goals, ideals, strengths, beliefs. It seems like I get this surge of motivation and acceptance from everyone I meet. People are feeding off one another and giving each other advice and inspiration. Besides, after spending a year with people who are so negative and spend all their time bitching about how they need to do this or that to lose weight or have opinions they give so freely about something they know nothing about, its nice to come and be with people who are happy, working toward something, and NOT making excuses. Sort of like being on this site. I hope to meet up with some of the wonderful people who have been so supportive here. Can’t wait for Sept 24th baby!! Vegas here I come

So here is another day and another trip into town. This drive is crazy nuts and with gas prices going up its getting to be pretty costly too. Things aren’t going so well at my job they think Im getting paid for something Im not and now I have to go fight wtih them. But they’ve been real helpful just not paying me yet. My training is going okay. With the move and all, my inconsistent water intake dragged me down but its going good now and I’ve dropped all the bloat. I just need to dial the cardio in. Man I hate doing it. But not going to be a whiner cuz most people do. I used to love it but now its so tedious. I’d much rather hit the weights. Well enough rambles

and no Im not a hippy but I am a bit but thats what squats are for. hahahahahahaaha

Its done and my peeps are taken care of. I hit the gym today for high rep lo weight to get some of the kinks outta my back and arms from the move. It was wretched and the air didn’t work in the new place yet so it was 90 and muggy inside the house and 103 outside. Its always family that sux the most out of a person. But I guess its okay cuz they usually give the most when u need it. Peace and luv to everyone

Going to spend today moving my mother into a new house. Spent all day yesterday too. 100+ degree weather and a hot calif. sun. Whew. Felt kinda sick afterwards. Only ate once. Gotta make an effort to eat more. At least I drank lots of water. Great shoulder workout tho. Not doing anything this am….feel like I might vomit alreadt. TMI I know…sorry