sunday afternoon i was trail riding in utah on my quad. i was wearing new boots that i wasn’t used to and caught some air… my boot slipped off my beg and hit the dirt on the right… the back right tire caught my foot and pulled me under the quad then rolled me about four times. thank God nothing serious happened… i can walk and am alive… torn tendons in my right shoulder and a pertty bad blood clot in my lower stomach and lots of bruising and swelling. but aaaaah! i am so upset this morning. my flippin body is still hurting and now im getting up for work. look in the mirror and see my bruises and everything swollen and it makes me depressed and remember that i can’t go to the gym for a while. im scared of what will happen until then. im scared i am going to gain weight becuz i can hardly walk right now. im so so scared that some of this swelling will never go down. i feel so mis shaped and ugly. i shouldn’t complain. i am so thankful and so happy to be alive and i know it could be worse. i guess i am just in pain this morning and being a whiny baby…. needing to vent. i don’t want to go to work and i have my stupid little dr note saying i shouldn’t, but i don’t want to waist my sick time either becuz i still have a surgery coming up this month. also i am seeing the shoulder surgen for a shoulder surgen for the accident next week and now am worried i will need to take even more time off and if i have surgery thats even MORE time away from the gym i need to suck it up and stop being a cry baby. it just seems like when it rains it poors… and these clouds lately are really blocking my rays!