A blessing in disguise…..
New State….New Job….New Apartment…New Gym….
It was all new….
After my last Competition in May ’08 I was completely burntout. I didn’t take enough time that year to really put some weight on from my May ’07 show. My workouts and eating habits were not the healthiest. And so the decline begin.
I graduated collage and decided it was time to go, try something new. So I applied to number of Jobs out of New York State, everywhere from Georgia, Mississippi, Texas and even Louisiana. The phone interviews started right up and the face to face round was next. By the end of ten days I was on a total of eleven planes and six cities, that’s more plans then I’ve been on in my life. From there the offers came in and I made my final decision, Texas. I packed my car with just my clothes setting off to Texas to start off new, not knowing where I was going to house myself.
After 36hrs of straight driving with my pop, we reached my destination. Within a day I found an apartment and a gym, everything else came together after that. Things were going well, the direction they should have. I had found a good group of acquaintances who I would go out with on the weekends. I was trying to let my self become “normal” and not the “hard ass” that needed to make sure he had 8hrs of sleep and measured out everything he put in his mouth.
My training started to slack, my eating was atrocious and it was starting to show. In a matter of a few months I had started to become something that I worked so hard not to become in past years, I was becoming “normal”.
This was what I wanted, right? That whole point on moving and starting new was to find “me”, no? That “hard ass” who I “was” wasn’t “me”? Wasn’t “normal”? But now I ask, define “normal”? … Define “me”? …Who was “I” looking for? That “normal” person who I thought I could find, who I thought “I” was looking for, was there the whole time. The “me” was underneath a pile of shit that had been building up so high he was out of sight and giving the elusion of being lost.
As the “new me” begin to take completely over, he hit a wall, or should a say an air bag. A few months into my move I got into an accident, totaling my baby who got me to this destination. If that wasn’t bad enough, the girl who means the world to me, the one who brings out “the true me”, broke her right wrist and my left clavicle. Everything that was important to me I had broken within seconds. Anything that I had put my love into had been completely busted up.
The after math!!!!!!!!!!
Being tied down by chains, unable to move or reach your soul. That’s what the past couple of months have felt like. One of my worst fears had come true and was standing at my door step. Becoming fat, overweight, and lazy was reality. Not capable to lift a weight, let alone a cup of coffee, is what I had to mentally except. My clavicle was broken and there was nothing I could do about it, or could i? I refused to let this take me down. The following day of the accident, car-less, I walked to the gym.
In a brace which kept my shoulders back and in place, I march up on to the stair-stepper. For days, weeks, months, I would proceed to walk into the gym knowing I could not touch the one thing, the only thing which gives me more chills then a kiss from my girl, IRON. Cold, bone breaking, muscle tearing, wood to my fire, IRON. This ongoing mental battle sustained for months. I had no choice but continue to watch my diet and do cardio.
So dropping a total of 30lbs of pure hard earned muscle, going down to an all time low of 153lbs, I now have begun to train again……
A Gross 153lbs….. and uneven shoulders
It felt like I was back 10years, that little skinny kid lifting his first weight. I’m talking about doing shoulder raises with 3lbs dumbbells, incline press with just the bar, curs and pushdowns with no more the 10lbs… It was making me nauseous thinking about where and who I had become….. but the fire was back..
The desire, determination, DRIVE was there! I was sick of looking at this “new me”….
** “If You Want Change, You Need To A Make Change” **
The light has finally, Finally, FINALLY has turned back on… I have been increasing my calories back up, Turning the workouts back up, Picking “THE TRUE ME” back up!!!
It has been about a two months since I started my training again, and I’m feeling GOOD!
Yeah my strength is not where it was but the intensity it up there! I’m doing everything, including Dead’s!!
So whats next you might ask?
I plan on continuing to bring my weight back up to 230lbs… Yeah I said that last year, but now its time…
THE TIME IS NOW, THIS IS THE DAY THAT COUNTS, ITS TIME TO GROW!!!!!!
Thank you controlled labs for sticking by me in that tie of darkness…
Check out my page, right here on BB.Com for my everything from new pics, old pics, Diets, workouts and of course the best supplement combinations!!!!!
my best??.. wait and see some magic!
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