Blog Entry
May 30, 2009this is my first blog on this site although i am not shy of blogging. this site so far has motivated me beyond anything ive ever come across. i guess its just seeing other people working as hard as me and getting the results they want. i love just browsing and looking at people’s progress pictures. me? well im still a work in progress. ive already lost 90lbs (yay!) but ive hit this insane PLATEAU that im having the hardest time breaking through. im not gaining but im sure not losing either. and its so discouraging. i work hard everyday in the gym, and even though i am to the point where i love working out, seeing the weight on me is heartbreaking. but, i keep pushing!!
here’s a little history on how i got here: i was always a chubby kid. well maybe not so much in my childhood but right around teenage years is when i started putting on weight. my family tells me stories about how i used to binge eat anything in sight. i dont remember this but i didnt get fat by eating well huh? before i knew it i was 13 or 14 and pretty well over 200lbs. i dont remember a time in my life when i was ever under 200lbs actually. i was not spared the humiliation of being fat either. i was made fun of horribly in school and i had the lowest self esteem imaginable. i mean, i was in no way a loner i had lots of friends. but i usually got them and kept them because of my typical fat girl "humor"… i made fun of myself before they had a chance to. so that basically got me through middle school… by high school i was probably 240lbs. i remember in the 9th grade my grandmother offered to pay for me to join LA Weight Loss. i did and lost 40lbs in 3 months. i was more than excited to go back to school in my new 200lb. body. i can say i was not exercising at the time and i think that is what led to my future weight gain. but anyway, i got a lot of attention at school for my weight loss and it was a beyond amazing feeling. i didnt know a lot about weight loss maintenance at the time and i really thought that i could keep my weight the way it was without much effort. i was sorely mistaken! by my senior year i had gained all of the weight back and then some. my friends and i found comfort and entertainment out of eating. we based the majority of our activities around food. so, it was inevitable that i would gain the weight back. after graduating, i moved out on my own so i surely wasnt eating well at all. i found comfort in food and cured my low self esteem with dead-end "relations" with guys i knew i would go nowhere with. i moved in with a friend of mine… this is where i really lost control of my body. i ate constantly, and really bad. before i knew it, i was well over 300lbs. and beyond depressed. my friend and i had a falling out, and i ended up back at home. my parents were always healthy and fit so its not like i was being enabled. they always tried to help me lose the weight. my next method was Nutrisystem. it worked like majic i just couldnt afford to keep up with it. within one month i had went from 338lbs. to about 315lbs. after my supply of food ran out, i just continued eating whatever my mom cooked. she always cooked healthy/tasty food so i found myself maintaining that weight for a while. eventually my mom convinced me to join the gym with her. the local gym where she was going had a female based training program that was free to members. i joined it and for the first time had a good look at my weight. i followed the program religiously… and in 4 months i was down to 270lbs. i had a wedding to go to so it was so fun to shop for a dress in my new smaller size. even though i was much heavier than id ever been, i had never really worked that hard and seen results like that. after the wedding was over and done, i continued to work hard. that was last summer, July ‘08. it is now May ‘09 and i have another wedding to attend (my family goes hard!) and im stuck, literally STUCK at 244. im happy to have lost the weight that i did… i know i can reach my ultimate goal of 170. soon! i hope 
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