There are two natural competitions coming up that offer figure divisions, one on August 8 (14 weeks out!) & one on October 3 (22 weeks out).  I’m currently 138lbs, a little heavy due to idiotic eating at times & putting on some new muscle for the first time in over a year.  If I had to guess, I’d say body fat is at 20%, maybe 19% on a good day.  Heh.  My only real hesitation, is that I really think I would need at least a coach, if not a trainer, to pull this off right.  I definitely DO NOT have the funds to hire one, I’d either need sponsorship or someone who just happens to be willing to help a girl out.  

So, I reach out to you all.  What’s a girl to do?  Any suggestions or anyone think they could help me out?  I would really, really like to get my eating & fitness under control once & for all, see just how far down the rabbit hole goes, & I think competeing might just be the huge help, the goal, I need to do that…

Hope everyone’s well.  I’m going to bed.  Gotta get up early in the morning when you want 8 miles before work.  Yikes!

Lifting, sadly, is still mostly out of reach for me.  My wrist remains pretty effed, but I’m trying to go at it very, very gradually, in the hopes that strengthening the muscles around it will allow me to support more weight.  

It’s been a very, very rough month for me.  My fiance declared he was having a "breakdown", and things deteriorated from there.  He got very nasty.  He took off, with a bunch of my things no less.  Turns out "breakdown" is ******* for "girlfriends".  Good riddence.  My father, so very relieved that I’ve been dealing with this by throwing myself wholeheartedly into fitness has put up the funds for a personal traininer, which I think will make all the difference in getting as much muscle back as the wrist will allow.

In the mean time, running has become my lifting-replacement.  I’ve fallen in love with it, thank goodness.  I blog about that over on Runner’s World, under "josiethefiend".  It’s been keeping me sane, and it’s gotten me lean again.  I’m one pound and two bodyfat percentage points away from where I was the day I was hit.

Alright.  I’m ready for my "up yours, ex-fiance" six pack.

I have to be really, really careful.  This poor wrist of mine had three pins through it, several ligaments scraped and sewn together, and 4 months of complete immobilization.  I’ve tried a couple of times to start lifting lightly again and failed.  This time I hope it’s not just a false start.  Especially since I have a promise ring on my finger, and the real deal is only a matter of time.  That means pictures.  I’d really like to look my best again, or at least on my way to it.

Work has been SOOOOOO busy, plus the slow recovery of my hand that was injured when I was hit, have kept me mostly out of the lifting game for quite some time now.  My eating got pretty out of control there for a while too.

Today, I’m making a new lifting and workout plan, and a new committment to whipping my body into even better shape.  I’ll think of it as starting over, but, starting from a way better position!  I’m guessing I’m up to around 140 pounds, and about 23% body fat.  The new goal is 130 pounds, and 19% body fat.  My lifting goals stand, though, I’m still not sure my hand can handle bench press, which will be a challenge.  We’ll see how it goes tonight.

Think I can do it?  Where’s my cheering section???

Sadly, I’ve lost a LOT of strength, and I figure I’ve lost about 5 lbs of hard earned muscle.  But, oh well.  It was completely beyond my control that some dude decided to turn through my bike lane with out checking his mirrors or signaling, and thank goodness I wasn’t hurt worse!  

Cheer me on guys.  Starting all over again is rough…

Obviously, as you probobly guessed, my month of clean eating didn’t last long.  My relationship troubles came to a head, and I now find myself living alone having broken up with my boyfriend of just over two years.  

It’s been a huge change to my schedule, routine, and my overall lifestyle.  The stress has really gotten to me, and for a while there I was having a lot of stomach pain and complete loss of appetite.  It was awful.  I was desperate not to ruin all my progress, so I spent a lot of time truly forcing protein powder down my throat.  Not pretty, not pretty at all.  But I was willing to do anything to keep enough calories in me to now loose the muscle and metabolism I’ve built for myself.  Regardless, I’ve dropped a lot of weight fairly quickly, and I’m certain not all of it was fat.  *sigh*  But, I’ll take any silver lining I can get, so I’m letting the number on the scale cheer me up.  I’ve also lost two inches on my waist in the past three weeks.  Pretty cool, but, such a quick loss concerns me a bit.  Not to mention the fact that I once again have only ONE pair of pants that fit.  If I go to the thrift store and find that I now need size 6 pants, I may well faint.  

I took that first week of the break up and rested.  Pretty much the only exercise I got was a lot of walking, because it soothed my nerves and I figured it wouldn’t burn up my muscle if I ran out of calories.  I think I was pretty successful.  Last week I was able to eat more normally, though still a lot less in volume.  I was just so eager to get my routine back though, so I hit the gym hard.  So far, so good.  Though, it’s obvious to me that some of my lifts have suffered.  Though, I got rediculously close to that elusive full pullup.  I’m anxious to give it another shot this week.

So, that’s what’s been up with me.  I’m now 1 lb. away from goal weight after all this drama.  I’m trying to think of how I’ll celebrate when I get there.  Maybe I’ll finally go get my bellybutton repierced, or find a place with a bod pod so I can truly know my body fat percentage.  Heh, or maybe just a really awesome massage.  I think that’d do wonders for me right now.  

I’ll be alright.  It’s just a rough transition, but I’ll be alright.