Levidity’s Rants and Raves

time to start working on the xmas list…. boobs are at the top of it. Hopefully come Monday I should have a surgery date set! If not I’m going to be extremely irratated. I want a boy too. I have been single for like 3 months now. I hate this after waking up next to someone for nearly 4 years and waking up next to my dog is a little lame. But I want someone who is as anal as me. Must be a bb is a new rule. I need someone who wants to compete too so I have an additional motivator. Anyone know of a good dating web site for muscle heads? Sad I know but hey I am lonely and not a very social person and not into the bar scene and my gym has no eye candy when I am there I hope someone there is hot though because otherwise I moved to the wrong town. This has all dawn on me while in the middle of a not so gruling saturday cardio bonanza. Well that is a look into my sadness….hope it made someone smile

Grrr here i am venting again. So I have a gym membership close to where I live but my former gym had daycare the coolest thing ever. This one doesnt so I am trying to find someone to hang out with my daughter not an easy feat since I moved almost an hour away from all my family and I know NO ONE around here. We have a "gym" at my apartment complex that I dont know how to get into and the complex office doesnt open till noon. I am annoyed I am concerned I will use all these little roadblocks as an excuse on why I didnt make it to the gym today or tomorrow and who knows about monday. My eating is clean my house is clean and now i want a clean mind of looking for ways to not make excuses. I need a training partner, too broke to afford a trainer right now, and too anti social to talk to people at my gym. Grr thats my bitch of the day. Though I must say since returning to bodyspace after nearly 6 months it feels good to see how supportive everyone is. Thank you!

Oddly I find that blogging about pointless shit is a good way to vent. So it has been a long time since I posted anything here and figured I’d fill the world in on my life, if you care.

I left my boyfriend of nearly 4 years in September and moved to Jackson. Which has been a great change. I have been modeling a lot and things in the realm are wonderful. I am planning on getting my boobs done next month, which excites me and scares me.

thanksgiving showed no trials of diet dilemma. Though my Mt. Dew crutch is almost over. Food sucks and i hate it because I am so used to eating such bland things that now things with taste gag me.

I am looking for a work out partner which is strange to me because I have always worked out alone but I am looking to make changes in my life and my social circle. So anyone in Jackson?

I am nearly done with school finishing my BS in Biology and my BA in Philosophy which is amusing. Though I have no intention of ever being done with school. I believe I will go into teaching which is really fun because I have more tattoos then any professor I ever met.

Well hope everyone had a wonderful thanksgiving. Best wishes!

so I did my measurements and I am way depressed now because I’m still at my same weight but I am way bigger now. My ass is huge according to the tape measurer but my old man doesn’t complain don’t expect he would but I’m in a self loathing mood which does good for me becasue now I’m going for a run. Then spending quality time doing everything on my wii fit which sickly enough I love. Need to up my cardio bad!

By most standards you probably wouldn’t call me fat, just average, which I hate. I’m 5′3" and around 117 (today) I used to be pretty tight now I am not and I am sick of it. It took almost a year to get through this self loathing mood and having such a "busy" life and using it as an excuse to not be able to work out. Bullshit! No more excuses. Now I just need a hard kick in the ass. My boyfriend is not very supportive because he’s on afternoons so we barely see each other so now I need a complete stranger to be like I’d do ya, that would make me happy. But I’m writing mainly for myself because if I post this for the whole wide world to admire than maybe I’ll quit making excuses and start making changes. I know I’m not fat but I’m not healthy either I make horrible food choices and now am paying for them with squishy thighs and weird back fat that I’m not sure where it came from. Oh yes one more late night trip to taco bell. I guess I have already screwed up sticking to an amazing diet today by starting the day with coco puffs but there is always tomorrow or the rest of today I should say. Here is where I end my rant.

so I’m back in the gym after screwing up my back again, I have a lot of back problems and sometimes they get the best of me. I’m up to about 120 now which is awesome. Now I need to cut which I’m busting ass on since I have a wedding to attend in about 2 weeks and everyone in the wedding is big and fat and I wasn’t asked to be in the bridal party so I’m going to be sure to show them all up, lol. I will post some new pics hopefully today and new measurements but I’m gym bound first need the swell ya know,lol. Well I’m back so I’m sure if ya care you’ll notice some changes.

so I’ve been doing a video workout program everyday this week good i know it sounds gay and not like the hardcore bodybuilder I wanna be but I actually am digging it doing the Abs diet workout #2 I have been doing it twice a day everyday for 5 days now. Don’t really get too much of a burn out of it but it keeps me pumped. I haven’t tanned at all this week so I’m feeling all pasty and gross but I’m still darker than my old man.

So never made it to the gym today busying doing house work and cooking and all that fun stuff but back to it tomorrow. Did talk to a couple people about setting up a work out program for me. Since on my own I am not doing all that well. Made some awesome protein brownies today. I’m not fond of chocolate but I made them for my daughter and boyfriend and was forced to try them and they were good. Spent the day reading for one of my classes to and after I finished every page I did 10 crunches needless to say I only read 8 pages before I decided that was enough for the day. I’m going to do shoulder here at home in a while but need to finish the rest of my muscle regiment at home such as hauling the laundry out of the dryer and into the closets and calf raises while putting dishes away. I think I’m working out more today then I have all week in the gym just trying to do my normal stuff while adding twist to it. Oh yes dedication lungles while walking the dog although the neighbors must think I’m insane.

So leg day on uesday went good still feeling it today. Yesterday i did only chest, no cardio which was strange becasue usually I tan for 20 mins, then do an hour of cardio, then lift for about 35 mins, but just tanning and doing chest I was out in less than an hour, it kinda threw my day off because I didn’t know what to do with myself after that. I will continue to change things up more today. Today I’m going to do tris and shoulders together and maybe calves and also do my cardio after lifting. To see how that goes. Switching up my diet too trying to work it out to something that doesn’t make me disguisted by eating the same thing 4 times a day then a couple other things. I have so much homework to do right now but I’d rather do the math for my diet, not good when my body is taking first place over my education, but damnit I better walk away with a trophy!

Ok I hate leg day because they’re fat and aren’t showing enough improvement for me to wear shorts just I know I’m fairly small but very bottom heavy (see pics) I go heavy on the things I can but I’m not bulking up enough to show anything I’m still holding lots of squish there any way here is my usual leg day. Any suggestions would be great! Thanks

treadmill 15% incline, 60 mins

eliptical 30 mins

abductor machine - 110# 3 sets 15-20

adductor machine - 110# 3 sets 15-20

hamstring curl machine - 50# 3 sets 10

leg extension (quads) - 50# 3 sets 10

leg press - 300# 3 sets 25

calf press - 400# 3 sets 25

Squats on smith machine - 60# 3 sets 15

Stiff leg deadlift with db - 20# 3 sets 10