Levidity’s Rants and Raves

anyone else having problems with their pics? I posted some new ones and you can’t rate them. Any ideas?

I haven’t started my own personal fan club yet, lol. But I have started a new to competing group http://groups.bodybuilding.com/new_to_competing its for everyone who wants to, is curious, or has competed and wants to share their knowledge. Please join say hi to the group add some new friends and thank you for your interest!

My back is still jacked but that’s no excuse. I’ll be back in the gym today. Thanks to that they have daycare there. Otherwise that would be my hold back. My diet is staying pretty strict although I have cheated a bit but since I count everything the next day I just make up for it to make sure I am getting enough protein and keeping a calorie deficeit for the week. I had an awesome cardio experience this morning. I updated my zune last night to add new music I downloaded, as I have it on shuffle during an extreme battle with the stepmill, all of a sudden I have "Clumsy" playing which needless to say first off is not my type of music, I blinded added my daughter’s kidz bop collection to my zune and out of the 30gigs of music I have on it everytime I skipped a song I’d get one of mine then one of hers needless to say it ended up being pretty amusing going from Slayer to Creed sung by children. Though it did make the dreaded step mill that much more enjoyable. It strangely enough put me in more of a christmas spirit by just thinking how lucky I am to have my little girl and know that I am working towards reaching my goals. I will post measurements today hopefully and some new pics.

i hate snow. makes me unmotivated. so i am getting ready to go tan then hit the gym. I have decided to do the hydroxycut max contest and the muscle tech contest! But I wont be starting until the 1st because contest rules. My back is still a bit jacked up been nursing it. I am just wanting to get back to training for real. I’m ready for xmas to be over, I have all the bs shopping done and over which is nice now just waiting to get it over with.

I went to Jackson PowerHouse today and got my flabby ass handed to me. A very short intense workout where I found out I can’t squat becasue my range of motion is very little. Needless to say I am sore and walking down the stairs is already a feat. I have to give Drew from there mad props I think with his help and my need I will be ready by March. I have already decided that I will be spending more time there than at PFit. I will be posting some measurements once I do them but right now I’m a little nervous to see how far away from my goal I am. I am going to start the south beach diet which Drew recommended but looking at the meal plans blah I can’t eat that crap so its going to take some (a lot) of adjusting for me. If anyone has any south beach advice bring it on I could use it.

for the life of me I dont understand why cooking is such a pain in the ass. I have been doing it for years and actually really anally for the past 2 years on and off. But it seems most of my time I am waiting on a buzzer and during the down time I question why it is that I was to do this. So many other people live their lives with out food scales and watches that alert every 2 hours when its time to eat. Hell I do it myself on and off. But why do I want this so bad. Hmmm just to say I did. Or is it because I love the rush. I love looking in the mirror and seeing how cut I can get. I want to step on stage and be rewarded for my hard work. I want my friends who wanted me to go to the bar to see why I didn’t go out for 3 months. And why I will remain single until my body allows time for a social life outside of the gym and school. I am putting off getting my boobies done because I want my body ready first and that will just be an excuse on why I really cant lift. Best wishes to all.

so i have a week of school left busting ass on finishing the rest of my work that is due. Grrr. Been in the gym at least every other day. Waiting for my daughters father to come pick her up tonight and I’ll hit the gym tonight too. Diet has been pretty clean. Which is crazy but I’ve been so busy with life little time to eat garbage. I think the boobs are going to have to wait which is sad but I really want to kick my ass for this show and I dont think I’ll do too hot if I’m off for a month especially since i am at about 12 weeks out as it is. Ahhh the stress I love it! I’m going to wait until Monday to do measurements. This weekend will be lame homework and studying filled but at least I’ll have quite time with no munchkin around, which I usually hate but I think this weekend it will be great. Well that is my most current update on life for those who care

what up?! Happy day…I AM doing the MI novice in March. Training and diet start tomorrow. Not sure if I’ll go figure or BB, we’ll see how hard I get. I have decided this must be done, we’ll see come tomorrow how things go but I think I’m excited and know I can do this. I’d still love to find someone else in Jackson who is into stepping on stage. But until then I will kick my own ass with determination.

time to start working on the xmas list…. boobs are at the top of it. Hopefully come Monday I should have a surgery date set! If not I’m going to be extremely irratated. I want a boy too. I have been single for like 3 months now. I hate this after waking up next to someone for nearly 4 years and waking up next to my dog is a little lame. But I want someone who is as anal as me. Must be a bb is a new rule. I need someone who wants to compete too so I have an additional motivator. Anyone know of a good dating web site for muscle heads? Sad I know but hey I am lonely and not a very social person and not into the bar scene and my gym has no eye candy when I am there I hope someone there is hot though because otherwise I moved to the wrong town. This has all dawn on me while in the middle of a not so gruling saturday cardio bonanza. Well that is a look into my sadness….hope it made someone smile

Grrr here i am venting again. So I have a gym membership close to where I live but my former gym had daycare the coolest thing ever. This one doesnt so I am trying to find someone to hang out with my daughter not an easy feat since I moved almost an hour away from all my family and I know NO ONE around here. We have a "gym" at my apartment complex that I dont know how to get into and the complex office doesnt open till noon. I am annoyed I am concerned I will use all these little roadblocks as an excuse on why I didnt make it to the gym today or tomorrow and who knows about monday. My eating is clean my house is clean and now i want a clean mind of looking for ways to not make excuses. I need a training partner, too broke to afford a trainer right now, and too anti social to talk to people at my gym. Grr thats my bitch of the day. Though I must say since returning to bodyspace after nearly 6 months it feels good to see how supportive everyone is. Thank you!