….
i hate myself right now and the way i look and what I’ve become and I’m trying to change it but I can’t seem to no matter what I do. Change is supposed to happen when you really want it right? well I do want it, so why is it not happening? Why am i still putting carbs and sweets into my mouth when I hate the fact that none of my pants fit anymore… Why can’t I accept the person I was becoming in april and am reverting back to the old me? Why is this sounding like a psychology session? I need to lose weight… I’m trying to eat clean, as clean as possible at least and Ive been doing a pretty good job of it so far for the past 10 days or so… and I know its all about time, I get that but I dont have time… I have 3.5 weeks to go back to the way I was and short of not eating anything and only working out, I dont know what else to do. I lift three times a week, swim about 5 times a week, am eating pretty clean (sweets have almost been completely eliminated, this week they should be gone completely) and I’m still not losing the weight and my legs still look like tree trunks (and the picture that’s up on my profile is form last summer, not this past summer but from 2006 when I actually looked good, now I just look hideous) and I’m constantly self conscious and self aware and self loathing but for some reason that wont make me stop eating…. why can’t i just stop eating? why don’t I have any will power or self control!?
very frustrated right now!
October 29, 2007 at 9:51 pm
Wow, Paola go easy on yourself girl! We all fall of the wagon at times but there’s no need to be full of self-loathing. Keep doing what your doing in working out and eating clean. It’ll all come to you in time. Be patient. You can do it. I believe in you.
October 29, 2007 at 9:54 pm
Keep your head up girl! We are all right there with you! Please don’t be so hard on yourself!
October 29, 2007 at 10:03 pm
hey there, dont be so hard on yourself, I know it sucks as Im in the same boat. Look at maybe portion sizes and maybe adding a second session of cardio a day from time to time. Keep up the intensity and dont be afraid to shock the system
Sleep plenty as well. I really hope things come better for you soon and you feel much better. Best of luck to you. Keep in touch
October 29, 2007 at 10:07 pm
If you work out that much you do have control…remember at first you will add weight….due to muscle…..so look for inches not pounds at first….and just stay after it..it’s comming! day by day!
Real Men Have Mass!
October 29, 2007 at 10:11 pm
Hey! …Take a breath… and pause for a minute. Clear the mind from frustrations.
From what I see based on your profile and blog, you have set a pretty big goal in short amount of time. Not only it is a big goal, it’s also a DANGEROUS goal. The blog mentions only 3.5 weeks to go back the way you were. Since you are a student at a university, there should be some trainers in your gym. It wouldn’t hurt to invest in some trainers to help you attain that goal. Trainers know how the body works and one thing they will tell you is that not to stop eating.